Saturday, November 24, 2012

You'd think I'd be a pro at this. I mean, I left Olivia at the hospital over 100 times. But, this is rough. I keep looking at things around the house and thinking, "last time I sat here or ate that. . .Abigail was in my tummy." And she isn't anymore. She's all alone at the hospital. Does she even remember who her mommy and daddy are? I really didn't think it would be this difficult because having a baby born 5 weeks early is completely different than having a baby born 17 weeks early. And she will most likely be home within the week. Being home with Olivia and Ryan is wonderful. It does my heart good. I love my family and can't wait until Abigail can join us.

Olivia is completely mesmerized by my breast pump. I had to explain to her that I was making milk to take to Abigail. She thought for a moment and then asked, "Hey, why can't you make chocolate milk for me?" She cracks me up all the time. I had to tell her that I did the same thing for her many years ago.

When I got home, I weighed myself and I weighed the exact same!!!! I have some major fluid retention going on from the fluids they gave me during surgery. I traded in my big belly for cankles, I suppose. They are awful.

Anyway, please pray that Ryan and I are both able to see Abigail tomorrow. I was unable to hold her today because of my cough. :( I did get to peek in at her before I headed home and she is just so beautiful. I want to cuddle my baby so bad it's painful! We will all be at home together soon! Olivia has been sure to give me lots of extra hugs and I can't tell you how much I've missed her.







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As you know, Olivia spent 105 days in this very hospital. She is somewhat of a celebrity around here. On Wednesday, Ryan and Olivia were in the elevator where she was recognized by a former 25 weekers' parents. I figure they either read her story in the parent resource library or were directed to my blog. Either way, Olivia is humbly oblivious to her fame. Because of this, everyone wants to take care of her little sister. It's so much easier leaving your child with nurses you have known for 5 years and who spoil her rotten. OI'm trying to look at this whole thing from a more positive perspective. There is nothing else that I can do.

My milk finally came in and they are bottle feeding it to her. She's doing really well and sucked down her entire bottle this afternoon! I tried breast feeding on Wednesday and it didn't go well. She screamed and cried the whole time. I learned today that she has a tight frenulum (also referred to as ankyloglossia or being tongue tied.) This can make it difficult to breastfeed as she is unable to stick her tongue out. She will be evaluated by a speech therapist next week and referred to an ENT. She was hungry and was trying to latch on, but couldn't. I'd be angry too. There is a simple procedure to correct it if need be. Maybe it's a blessing she couldn't come straight home because both of her parents have pneumonia. God knows what He's doing. And she just had to be like her older sister and see what the NICU is all about. LOL!

And. . .just got big news! They moved Abigail up to special care tonight! She is that much closer to being home.


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Prayers please

This has been a very difficult day for me. I have not seen Abigail in over 24 hours as I have the start of pneumonia. (I've never had pneumonia in my life!) Ryan is at home with pneumonia also. I'm terrified that I exposed Olivia to it and as a former 23 weeker, she cannot get this! So, I cannot be with my husband or either one of my daughters and I can't begin to tell you how depressed I feel. I want to be cuddling and bonding with my new baby and I can't. Please pray for me and my family as we just want to be all together again. Thank you to my parents for helping me remain sane and calm and for taking such good care of Olivia. She's getting spoiled so much, I doubt she'll even want to come home!

Thanks to a dear friend for taking this picture of Abigail for me. One of the few things helping me through all of this is knowing that Olivia's previous NICU nurses are taking great care of Abigail! She's in great hands and is doing wonderfully. I wouldn't be surprised if she could come home next week (hoping her mom and dad are better by then!)

Abigail Update

I'm still in the hospital and Abigail is still in the NICU. She has orders to move to special care as soon as space is available. She's had a few problems maintaining her temperature. She has yet to take any feedings orally. Breast feeding has yet to be successful, but she is taking my milk through her NG tube. She is borderline jaundice as well.

I'm struggling because I have a horrible cough and some crackling in my lungs. It prevented me from spending time with Abigail tonight. The last thing I want to do is get her sick and set her back. Ryan is already very sick and hasn't gotten to see her since Tuesday. I miss my family as we are all in 4 different places. And I think a bit of depression has set in. Having another baby in the NICU ( although completely different this time) is tough. I wish I could have carried her a bit longer. Knowing that she has to have an IV in her head and heel sticks just like her sister makes me so sad. And, boy, can Abigail get
angry! She will let everyone know if she is not happy!!! Ryan and I make feisty children, that's for sure. Funny story: Ryan and Olivia were up at the hospital on the elevator. To make a long story short, a couple with a former 25 weeker recognized Olivia. They had to shake her hand and felt they were meeting a celebrity. Of course, Olivia is humbly oblivious to her celebrity status.

Most likely I will go home today unless 1)My lungs worsen or 2) if it looks like Abigail would make it home by this weekend, my OB would love me to stay with her and go home with her. I don't want to leave without Abigail and yet I'm ready to get home and be with Olivia. So, lots of things to pray for and still many reasons to be thankful!

Abigail Update

I just can't get enough of this little girl. I don't want to leave the hospital and leave Abigail. It's not for nearly as long, but anytime you have to leave your baby, it's really hard. I keep patting my tummy and realizing she's no longer there and then realizing she is not in my arms either. I want to be with both of my girls. . .at home. Then, I find out today that Abigail's struggling with low blood sugar (which can happen with a diabetic mother.) So now they are trying to stabilize it which could mean more time in the NICU. Please continue to pray that we get to take her home soon.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

It looks like I'll probably go home tomorrow (possibly Friday) but it will be without my baby. Of course, it's nothing like it was before because I know she'll be home in a week or two. I still wish we could go home together. She is a doll baby and I know Olivia wants to spend time with her.

More Pictures!

Abigail Update

Abigail is doing well. She is already off CPAP and breathing well on her own. Hopefully tomorrow Ill be able to get out of bed and go see her again. Olivia was able to meet her. Im sure she will take her big sister role very seriously! What blessings I have and so many reasons to be thankful! As much as I wish I could have gone a bit farther, it was amazing to get to 35 weeks.

Happy Birthday, Abigail!!!

Holding My Daughter

I got to hold her!! I got to hold her!! She is so beautiful! Hopefully she can come off CPAP soon. She will most likely remain in the hospital for a week or so. After spending 105 days with Olivia in the NICU, our perspective is different now. We are just happy to have made it this far!

Abigail Is Here!

My water broke around 3 am. Abigail Harper Glunt was born at 6:47 am weighing 5 lbs 14.5 oz and 18.5 inches long. She was 35 weeks, 2 days. Currently she is in the NICU on CPAP. I have yet to hold her, but she's doing great!

OB Appt

Feeling better after meeting with my OB today. Still contracting, but cervix looks good. I guess the cerclage would allow me to dilate to about 2 and I would most likely have warning before it would tear. With my vertical uterine scar, I have time on my side as it has had 5 years to heal. Most likely I would have very bad contractions before risk of rupture. Currently, they just feel like bad menstrual cramps. My only choice would be to have my c section before 38 weeks. However, insurance will not allow my OB to perform a c section before 38 weeks without an amniocentesis. I really don't want to do that just in order to prove she's developed enough. I want to keep her in as long as possible, but not so long as when the risks start to outweigh the benefits. So for now I just take it day by day. If my contractions worsen or I develop any new symptoms, I have to head to the hospital ASAP. I'm feeling much more reassured and hopeful. Of course, now I develop the worst cough I've had in years! That makes me, Olivia, my mom and aunt Shelley who are coughing our heads off. Abigail wouldn't want to come yet anyway! Thanks for the prayers. If all goes according to plan, she'll be here 3 weeks from today!

Thank you

Thanks to everyone who has called/emailed with advice. I'm still contracting, but feeling better about things today. . .you know how things always worry you more at night and when you're tired. I just felt so overlooked last night. Did I tell you that the hospital had no record of me even giving birth there in 2007? They never did find the record of my previous c section. And don't get me wrong, I want Abigail to stay in as long as possible!! 40 weeks would be a dream!! But, I'd hate for something to happen and think. . . if only I'd had her a week sooner! I just felt like the typical "come back when you're in true labor" doesn't really fit in my situation since I'm not supposed to go into labor. And how do you find that magical line where you almost are, but not quite? Anyway, I just feel blessed to be 35 weeks today and hoping I get into see my OB tomorrow. Thank you, friends!

A Night At The Hospital

Well, it's 3 am and I can't sleep. I spent the evening at the hospital. After a week of cramping/back pain, I decided to get checked out. I'm so completely frustrated and confused. I was having contractions. Some were less than 5 minutes apart but they weren't regular. I had a classical c section with Logan, which is a vertical incision. Because of that, I have a 10% chance of uterine rupture if I were to go into labor. That is why I must have a repeat c section before laboring begins. However, I've been told and have read that most people aren't allowed to go past 36 weeks because of this risk, but my OB isn't scheduling my c section until 38 weeks. While at the hospital tonight, they checked to make sure I wasn't dilated, but how could I be with a cerclage stitching my cervix shut? I know that it has some give to it, but if you dilate with a cerclage, it can tear your cervix. So now I'm worried that my uterus is going to rupture and my cervix is going to tear. Some people also have their cerclage removed at 36 weeks because of this risk and my OB isn't removing it until my 6 week postpartum appointment. And here I am laying in bed with contractions. I also had a trace amount of protein in my urine, but they didn't seem too concerned. I am just hoping that nothing is being overlooked. I go 3 weeks this month without seeing my OB. Shouldn't I be seeing him weekly by this point? Hoping that other micropreemie moms who have gone on to get pregnant again can ease my fears. Pregnancy hormones are probably running rampant. I cried over Olivia tonight because she is my baby and my world and I missed not being with her while I was in the hospital. Sheesh, I am a mess tonight/this morning.
So, hoping those with previous classical c sections and/or cerclages can ease my fears. The resident OB tonight hadn't seen many with previous classical c sections. And honestly, my trust in my OB isn't all that strong right now. I just want to make sure that me and Abigail are handled with as much precaution as necessary. Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Thanks to all my faithful readers!