Thursday, June 25, 2009 - Update

Riding "Frank" at grandma and grandpa's house

Yesterday, Olivia was doing a lot better. . .her fever was gone, but then last night she developed a rash. We're suspecting that it is roseola since it is usually diagnosed by a few days of a high fever followed by a rash. Yesterday, she was back to her normal, happy self, but today she is extremely cranky. I'm not sure if it is from her illness or her teeth. I don't know how many she is getting all at once, but her mouth looks like a war zone. Poor thing. All in all. . .it's been a rough week between her being sick, Ryan's back, my lack of sleep, this unrelenting heat, etc. I'm ready for the weekend.

As many of you know, I began going to a therapist a few weeks ago. She is starting something with me called eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. I guess that traumatic memories are stored differently and in a different part of the brain than other memories. They are sort of like an undigested clump of memories. This type of therapy helps to "digest" and process them more like other memories so that they are not so difficult to relive. I have an extremely difficult time with Logan's death. I also have a lot of trouble with the day that Logan and Olivia were born. Actually, I think the anniversary of Logan's death is easier on me than the day that they were born. The anniversary of his death is just sort of a day of mourning for our family and we allow ourselves to be sad on that day. The day of their birth is, well, Olivia's birthday. It's a happy day and I don't want her to grow up thinking of it as any other type of day. Hopefully, this will help me move forward with the memories of what we've been through. . .but, without the pain.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009 - Update

Guess what I learned to do?

Hmm. . .what's in here?

Last night had to go down in the record books for the most sleepless night of all time. It was awful. Olivia is a fantastic sleeper. I usually put her to bed around 9 pm and I don't hear a peep out of her until morning. A few months ago, she started getting into the habit of waking up multiple times, so we had to nip that in the bud. It only took three nights of continuously laying her back down before she was sleeping like a champ again. Since she has been sick, it has been difficult for her to sleep and I just don't have it in me to let her cry in her room by herself. So, I have been sleeping in a recliner with her. Last night, Olivia and I were really restless and could not fall asleep. It was funny, though, around 1 pm. . .she looked at me, smiled and said, "Woof, woof." I barked back and we continued barking and laughing at each other for some time. Finally, when sleep just kept eluding us. . .we crawled into bed with daddy. I don't know how people sleep with their children or how a 19 lb child can somehow take up the entire bed. I hardly slept at all on my 2 inches of bed space. If it wasn't for the few dreams that I had, I would swear that I didn't sleep at all.

Anyway, Olivia's temp seems to be gone today. She must have heard me talking about taking her to the doctor. She is doing much better than she's done all week, so hopefully we're on the mend. In fact, she's learning all kinds of new things today like how to open cabinet doors and if she holds the phone up to her ear, she looks just like mama. I just hope that we can both take a nice, long nap this afternoon.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009 - Update

This morning, Olivia's temp shot up to 103.4. She was miserable, but once her temp came down, she started playing again. I don't understand it. If she's still running a temp tomorrow, I'll probably take her into the doctor. Her cousin had the same thing (with a higher temp) and was told it was viral. Other than a temperature, she's acting pretty normal.

I'm frustrated with myself for being so tired and know that I need to step it up. My daughter is sick, my husband is still having problems with his back. . .there really isn't any time for me to be tired. I still can't shake this fatigue that's been going on for over a year now. It's awful and I'm done with it. It doesn't help that it's so incredibly hot outside that I feel trapped inside the house just like I did all winter. Olivia doesn't understand why she can't go outside and I forgot how much I despise hot weather.

Monday, June 22, 2009 - Update

This is what a rough night looks like in the morning (although I'm never that happy.)

Thanks, honey, for the lovely pictures that I discovered on my camera this morning. Olivia has been feeling okay. We're still trying to keep her temperature down with Tylenol. For most of the day, she was her normal self and she has continued eating just fine. I'm still hoping this illness passes quickly.

A Not So Happy Father's Day

I'm not feeling well. . .

not well at all.

But, I'll still manage a smile for the camera.


and let my daddy know how much I love him!

Olivia surprised us today with a 102 temp. She surprised us again by eating all of her lunch even though she wasn't feeling well. Yet another surprise was in store when she threw it all up. Poor thing is not feeling well today. We have been able to get her temp down to around 100 and she is starting to play again. I'm sure that missing a cookout, throwing out his back, having a sick daughter, cleaning up vomit and mowing was not on Ryan's Father's Day wish list. Can we have a do-over? Please pray that Olivia is back to herself soon and that this illness doesn't last long. I'd better go and snuggle with my daughter. She needs a lot of extra snuggles today and I'm ready and willing.

Happy Birthday, Grandma Sailing!

Tomorrow (June 21st) is my mom's birthday. What a wonderful mother and an amazing grandmother. We love you!

Friday, June 19, 2009 - Update

That's it. . .I'm calling grandma

Sorry I am just now getting around to posting. It's been an interesting week. The weather has been too hot to do much outside and Olivia just stares out the door longingly. My husband threw his back out for the second time this month. It never fully recovered from the last time and I'm not sure exactly of the cause. Olivia is used to rough housing with dad and it breaks her heart when she can't do that with him. (It breaks dad's heart too.) So, Olivia hasn't been able to do any of her favorite things this week. Poor girl just can't catch a break. I haven't been feeling 100% and I believe allergies are causing all of my grief. And, I haven't taken many pictures lately. . .that's just from laziness, however. I'm ready for the weekend, but with Ryan's back I'm not sure how much we'll be able to do.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009 - Update

Olivia doing her happy dance

At what age is it that we stop dancing around for no particular reason. . .just out of sheer happiness? Olivia has the cutest little happy dance that she does. She has started a new game where she goes around and touches things and wants you to tell her what they are. She has learned a lot of new words in the past two days like door frame, paper, wall, dresser, etc. She is developing such an inquisitive mind. She has also started a new game where she does something that she's not supposed to do and when I tell her no, she just laughs. Yeah, I'm going to have to step up the discipline side of my parenting. She has started giving me those looks as if to say, "Well, what are you going to do about it?" The most important part of discipline (besides clear expecations) is consistency and there are things that I don't mind if she does at home, but I don't want her to do at other people's houses. Or, I don't want her throwing certain sippy cups on the floor, but I don't mind if she drops the no-spill ones. This sort of confuses her, so I really need to get my plan together. I really don't like her throwing food on the floor, but on the other hand, I'm just glad that she's eating. You can't expect a toddler to not be messy. These gray areas are kind of tough.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - Update

Today, mommy and I visited Madison.

I liked her a lot. I just know we're going to be best friends.

When Madison was napping, I jumped in her jumperoo. I don't think she'll mind.

Mommy made me sit still to take pictures.

Today, Olivia and I had a playdate with Madison. She is the daughter of my friend, Stacie. We had a great time. I enjoyed seeing Olivia with someone younger than her. . .she was so gentle and sweet with her. I just know that they're going to be friends as they get older. It was nice visiting with Stacie and also Stacie's sister, Erica, who has always been so near and dear to me. The whole afternoon did my heart good. There's something about spending time with someone who you've been through so much with and who knows you so well. . . . it just leaves a smile on your face. Thanks, Stacie, for a wonderful afternoon.

Monday, June 15, 2009 - Update

Thanks for my shirt, Kerry!

Lately, it seems that Olivia is enjoying her new molars. She has been able to chew up her food a lot better and has been eating great. . .until today. I'm not sure why. . .maybe her teeth are hurting her again or she's getting additional teeth. Everytime I try to feed her, she screams and cries (with real tears.) Hmm. . .that's about the only thing going on with us today. It's too hot, in my opinion, to do much outside. Maybe she'll take a bottle since she won't eat anything.

***After I posted this, I realized that I forgot to give Olivia her Prilosec (which I never forget to do.) Surely, she's not this uncomfortable after missing just one dose?? Anyway, I quickly gave it to her and hopefully we'll be back on track.

Sunday, June 14, 2009 - Update

Mom and dad said we're heading back to church today.

(Don't you love my daddy's cheesy grin?)

They told me that I get to dress up and look pretty.

And there will be music and singing. . .

and a lot of nice people.

Church. . .here I come!

After months of absence, we headed back to church today. It was a lot different for Olivia since the last time she went. She was still a baby. . .not walking or crawling and content to bounce on your knee the whole time. This time, she was a bit upset to learn that she couldn't roam the halls the whole time. I think she did fairly well, however, considering 1) it was during her nap time 2) she's been cranky because of her teeth and her banged up chin 3) she was confined and couldn't walk around. I thought we'd spend half of the time walking the hallways. . .but, we made it through the whole thing! I was pretty proud of her. So many people from our church have been praying for her nonstop since the day she was born. We appreciate that so much!

Apparently, riding a pony is not like riding a bike. If you don't do it often enough. . .you will forget how to ride it. This is especially true if your new favorite toy is a bouncing zebra.

A Baaaad Day

Despite a fun visit to the petting zoo. . .Olivia is not having a very good day. Soon after we visited the sheep, Olivia fell on the pavement and bloodied herself up. That's on top of an already sore mouth because of 4+ teeth coming in. She had 7 teeth for the longest time and now she's getting the rest of them all at once. She was crying on the way home. . .I'm sure because she was hot, tired and hungry with sore gums, a fat lip and a bloody chin. Right now, daddy is trying to get her to take a second nap. . .she needs some rest. She has not been very happy today. . .poor thing. Hopefully, my sweet girl will be feeling like herself again soon.

Birth Size Doll

June 2008

June 2009

Last June, we got Olivia's birth size doll and took comparison pictures. I thought we would take a few again today. Unfortunately, I think Olivia has only gained a few pounds in the last year. Olivia was a lot more interested in the doll this year and didn't want me to take it away. I hope the doll becomes as special to her as it is to us.

Another Cousin

Well, you met Kyran last week.

Now, let me introduce you to Gus. . .Olivia's other furry cousin. We're hoping to go meet him tomorrow.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009 - Update

Kelley, Trevor and Emily

Kerrick, Shawna (with a baby girl due in just a few weeks) Marilee and Olivia

I had a great time in college. . .primarily because of great friends. After we graduated in 2000, we decided to keep meeting about once a month. Sure. . .we've missed a few months here and there, but the four of us have been doing it for over 9 years now. We've been through a lot and it's nice to sit down and catch up with our lives. Olivia went with me today and did a fabulous job considering it was her nap time and she has 3 molars coming in at once. Hopefully, we'll continue meeting for many more years to come.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009 - Update

I believe micro-preemie parents look at the world entirely different than most. Every little thing that our little ones do is exceptional. I just beam with pride every time Olivia drinks out of a straw. Watching Olivia get on her zebra and bounce by herself just astonishes me. One day, she just figured out how to do it on her own. Of course, I'll never get over her walking. I remember when she was in the NICU, my dad told me how he saw some kids laughing and running out of a school bus. He told me that would be Olivia some day. I appreciated the optimism, but at that time. . .no one was sure if she would even be able to walk. When you are given a 90% chance of a disability. . .the odds aren't in your favor. I don't see my astonishment ending any time soon. . .I think it's something that will stick with me all of my life. Who knows what amazing thing she will do tomorrow and I'll be grateful to share it all with you.

Monday, June 8, 2009 - Update

Olivia, Ella and Kyler

Making friends

Today, Olivia had another eye appointment. She hated it just as much as ever. Her eye doctor, however, felt that her glasses might be helping. . .at least enough to hold off surgery for now. She doesn't go back for over 3 months and we're continuing with the glasses. But, best of all. . .no surgery for now!!

After her eye appointment, we headed to the zoo and ran into some familiar faces. Many of you follow Heather's blog and have been reading about her fight with Stage 4 melanoma cancer. If not, be sure to head over there and show your support. Olivia made friends with her daughter, Ella, who is around Olivia's age. They were too cute!!

Sunday, June 7, 2009 - Update

Birthday party times three

Today, Olivia had her first big gathering with Ryan's side of the family. We celebrated my nephew and nieces' birthdays. There were a lot of people and you'd think Olivia would be a bit intimidated. Nope. . .not one bit. She has never met a stranger and always becomes instant friends with everyone that she meets. Today, she happily walked from one person to the next with a big grin on her face. It was a joy to watch her today and I worry less and less about her socialization as she does awesome around all people. . .young and old. Olivia and her cousin, Kaleb, were especially cute as they kept patting each other on the back and smiling. Kaleb would bang on the folding chairs and then Olivia would do the same. The day would have been a lot better had Ryan not thrown his back out which rendered him immobile. I'm hoping he feels better soon. Thanks, Kim, for some really good pictures. It was nice to be together with the whole family.

Ryan stayed on the couch for most of the afternoon.

Kaleb and Olivia plotting mischief.


She had such a good time.


Olivia's new furry cousin, Kyran.


Kyran (the Jack Russell terrier,) Katie, Aidan, Kaleb, Alex, Olivia, Julia and Rebekah

Hey, I want what he's having!

Olivia and Uncle Kris.

It's not a party without cake!

An Award

It seems that my dear friend, Stacie, at Thoughts on Everything and Nothing has nominated me for an award. Thanks, Stacie.

The Rules:

1 - Thank the person who gave it to you. Thanks again, Stacie.

2 - List 10 honest things about yourself.

3- Put the Honest Scrap logo on your blog.

4- Select 7 other bloggers that you think deserve this award.

Okay, so I'll try to think of 10 things that you may not already know.

1. I am not a good swimmer.

2. I have never smoked a cigarette in my life.

3. I get headaches a lot, which is usually the reason that I'm awake at 4 in the morning.

4. The biggest fight that Ryan and I have ever had was over a dog.

5. In kindergarten, I lied to my teacher and it haunted me for years.

6. I've been given many blogging awards over the last few months and have felt bad that I haven't posted them. They really do mean a lot to me.

7. In high school I played the bassoon and the flute.

8. I'm tired a lot. . .oh, I guess you probably already knew that.

9. Ryan and I are, unfortunately, not planning on having any more children.

10. I love my Lord, my husband, my daughter, my family and friends.

Okay, and my 7 other honest bloggers are:

1. Anne at Life with Eliza Grace

2. Julie at Life is Good

3. Angie at Bennett and Ellie Grace

4. Jamie at Southern Babies

5. Devon at The Mikels Family

6. Emily at Emily's Adventures

7. Cristi at Jesus Is

8. Ann-Marie at Pray for Coy

Okay, so I decided on 8 instead. :)