Happy Birthday, Madison!

Today, we helped celebrate Madison’s birthday!  It’s been a joy watching her and Olivia’s friendship grow!  Happy 3rd birthday sweet girl!

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Hula Hoop

My niece, Izzy, is crazy good at the hula hoop.  She can even hula hoop, walk and sing at the same time.  I've learned that hula hooping is NOT the same as riding a bike as it is a skill you lose when you get older.  I used to be able to hula hoop really well.  I remember even going for the Guiness Book of World Records on the hula hoop. (I seem to remember also trying to break the record for longest time on a pogo stick.)  LOL!  Now, I can't get the hula hoop to stay on my hips for more than a second.  Any adults at there who can still hula hoop?  Izzy, I expect you to still be able to do this 30 years from now.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Olivia missed school this week because she kept saying she was sick (she did have a bit of a cough.)  I thought she was pulling my leg to get out of going to school, but poor girl is losing her voice and her cough is getting worse.  I think she is sick once again.  She even missed her trip to the pumpkin patch today with her preschool class.  Then my kitty, Kelsey, (who had her spay surgery on Monday) started bleeding from her incision yesterday.  So, the vet requested that we keep her contained.  She’s had to stay in the bathroom downstairs since yesterday afternoon.  She just cries and cries down there by herself.  When I went in to check on her tonight, she was bleeding again and her sutures look like they’ve opened a bit.  I’ll be calling the vet again tomorrow morning.  We never had any problems when Autumn was spayed.  This has just been awful.  Hopefully, I don’t have to take Olivia to the doctor and Kelsey to the vet in the same day.  Good grief.  And we have a busy busy weekend ahead of us!

Best Friends Forever

Food For Thought

I won’t lie. . .I do not enjoy cooking.  I don’t find it relaxing or therapeutic or exciting.  I’m not a bad cook (ask my husband!)  It just seems like such a chore to me.  It doesn’t help that I have high blood sugar and most food that I like raises my blood sugar and puts me in an almost comatose like state.  And, my daughter is not a good eater.  She’s not necessarily a picky eater as she’ll try almost anything, but she eats two bites and she’s done.  So, I’m on a mission to change all of that and try to find some joy in cooking (as well as eat healthier and better manage my blood sugar.)  Olivia is always interested in helping me cook and I thought that if we did it together it would be more fun AND maybe she’d want to eat more of what SHE helped make.  So, every week we are putting together an entire menu including fruits and vegetables with every meal.  And, every week I am trying one new recipe.  If it turns out good. . .I will share it with you. 

So, the first one I tried?  Crockpot Chicken and Dumplings!

Yum!  It was delicious and I highly recommend.  Here is the link to the recipe.  Not very diabetic friendly, but I have to take this one step at a time.

http://www.bubblecrumb.com/2010/02/14/crock-pot-chicken-and-dumplings-recipe/ 

On the menu for this week?  Muffin tin meatloaf and cauliflower mashed potatoes.

My Thoughts On Cooking:

I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction.  I get to the end and I think, “Well, that’s not going to happen.”

I made my favorite thing for dinner. . .a reservation.

I love a man with dishpan hands!

The only self-cleaning thing in this kitchen is the cat!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Busy busy day today.  Ryan was off for Columbus Day, so we decided to declutter and reorganize the storage room.  Wow, we had a lot of stuff and I’ll admit (other than Olivia’s clothes and toys) it was mostly mine.  I have a habit of keeping everything.  Some of our findings?  A box of brand new towels (wedding gift, I think) a big box of my old purses, two ice cream makers, my old Sega Game Gear, and every syllabus, folder and assignment I ever did in college. 

This is what we had to contend with.  We have a huge storage room in the basement.  Sometimes, however, when you have a lot of room you don’t take the time to really organize it because you don’t have to.  We just got in the habit of tossing things in there and it was in desperate need of re-organization.  It was actually quite cleansing to get rid of stuff.

The best thing I found?  My bunny poster!  It hung in my room throughout childhood and reminded me to become the best person I could be.  It says: What you are is God’s gift to you.  What you become is your gift to God.  I thought it was lost forever.  It’s now hanging in Olivia’s room.

Kelsey also had her spay surgery today. . .poor baby.  She is just not doing very well tonight.  I don’t remember Autumn being so sad and tired after her surgery.  I was getting ready to hang up clothes from the dryer when she found a nice warm spot to lay.  I didn’t have the heart to move her.  Hopefully, she’ll bounce back soon!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

I had a wonderful day yesterday.  Olivia was so excited to have her two best friends over to play.  And, as much fun as they had (which was oodles and oodles of fun) I think us mommies had even more fun. 

It’s so important as a mom to have amazing friends.  You know, as much as blogging helps us and connects us with other moms. . .I believe it also harms us.  Nobody ever mentions the not so good sides of motherhood on their blogs.  This leads others to believe that they are alone on this motherhood journey and no one else endures tantrums or suffers with depression or feels inadequate at times.  That’s where friendships really shine.  To be able to share the least attractive and the most embarrassing stories about you and have someone say, “That’s okay. . .I still love you,” is what true friendship is all about.  To be lifted up and reminded of your own unique and worthy qualities is sometimes just what you need.  It sure was just what I needed yesterday.  My wish for all of you is that you have that kind of friend and that kind of spouse.  . .who constantly remind you that you are special regardless of any shortcomings that others may think you have.   Let’s build each other up rather than tear each other down and celebrate all of the different kinds of wonderful mothers in the world. 

First post from my phone

I downloaded a blogger app for my iPhone to see if I could do posts from my phone. So, we'll see how it goes.

Olivia had a haircut today and for the first time EVER, she requested to have it shampooed at the salon. I thought we were years away from this milestone. But, as you can tell. . .she loved every minute of it.

Okay, Amanda, this post is for you! I'm publishing it now! And, happy early birthday!!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

This smile, this face, this amazing girl is what helps me get through each day.  My love for her is indescribable.  I hope she always knows how special and amazing she is!

To Those Who Look Away

Just thought I’d share this poem that I saw on another blog and it really struck a chord with me.  I think sometimes people dismiss the fact that I lost a son because he was “only” a month old.  They don’t realize or recognize how deep a mother’s love is.  During those 23 weeks that Logan was in the womb and the month (and one day) that he was in this world, I saw him grow up.  My whole life became about him and Olivia.  I saw them going to kindergarten together, sharing birthdays, wondering if I’d buy them two cars or have them share. . .A mother’s love is truly limitless and knows no beginning or end.

TO THOSE WHO LOOK AWAY

To those who look away ...
when I grow teary-eyed in the baby department, look a little deeper.
Surely you have some compassion in your heart.

To those who change the subject when I speak my son’s name,
change your way of thinking.
It just might change your whole life.

To those who roll their eyes and say that we barely had them at all, how could we miss them so much, in our hearts we have seen them live a thousand times.   We have seen their first steps, first day of school, their weddings, and their children.
We have had them forever in our minds.

To those who say we can have another,
we did.
I thank God for her everyday,
but even if I have twenty more babies,
I will forever have one in the grave,
and that is one too many.

To those who say to get on with my life,
I have.
It is a different life,
The life of a grieving mother.
One with a tremendous amount to be thankful for,
but also one with a lot to mourn the loss of!
Do not judge the bereaved mother.
She comes in many forms.
She is breathing,
but she is dying.
She may look young,
but inside she has become ancient.
She smiles, but her heart sobs.
She walks, she talks, she cooks, she cleans, she works, she IS, but she IS NOT, all at once.
She is here, but part of her is elsewhere for eternity.
Do not dismiss us: we have shaped more than just the future generation.
We have released all the tiny angels who are watching over you
Open your eyes to US
and you just might see THEM.

~~~ Author Unknown ~~~

Friday, September 30, 2011

My daughter recently started showing an interest in soccer, so today we went to pick out her own soccer ball. She’s actually a really good little soccer player. I find this particularly amazing since just last year she was shown to have quite a delay in her “ball handling skills.” She’s come a long way. 

We made a makeshift goal in our backyard and practiced. 

She shoots!

She scores!  Now, we just have to make it to one of cousin Izzy’s soccer games!

After we were done playing outside, I came upstairs to find this:

Guess we won’t be leaving the screen door open anymore.  If there is something to be tried. . .Kelsey is the one to do it.  Crazy kitty. 

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Did you know that there is a new Llama llama book out?  I didn’t either until I happened across it at the book store yesterday.  I can’t say that they remain her favorite books anymore, although she still enjoys them.  Olivia is on to spooky books right now.  She loves “What Was I Scared Of” by Dr. Seuss and “The Little Old Lady Who Was Not Afraid Of Anything” by Linda Williams.  Silly girl just likes to be scared.  She always wants to play “Giant” or “Monsters.”  I think she’s taking after her dad as I never wanted to be scared when I was little.   She’s really looking forward to Halloween.  I think she’s going as a puppy dog as we already have a costume that her cousin wore and she looks adorable in it!  If it were up to her, though, she might want something a bit “scarier.” 

Remembering Logan. . .

Logan William

Tomorrow, September 28th, marks four years since we lost our son, Logan.  Four years and it’s still tough.  With my new job and Olivia sick. . .I tried to fit in time to make a slideshow as I do most years.  I came upon a heartwrenching fact. . .I only have a limited amount of pictures of Logan. . .only a month’s worth, in fact.  I can’t do slideshows every year because I feel like I’m just putting the same pictures to a different song.  It only reminds me that the memories and pictures that I have of Logan are few.  And that’s not fair.  He was my son and I should have a lifetime of memories and pictures of him.  I miss him so much. . . I still do.  Every day. 

I love you, Logan.

You can watch last year’s slideshow, here:

http://oliviaandlogan.blogspot.com/2010/09/logan.html

Sunday, September 25, 2011

It was a beautiful day on Friday, so we headed to the zoo.  Olivia’s favorite animal at the zoo is the peacock.  There is not a specific peacock enclosure. . .you just have to try to run across one.  We always do. . .Olivia knows all of their favorite spots.  Here she is with her favorite feathered friend.

And, she ended up taking a stuffed one home from the gift shop that has now become one of the gang.

Olivia is now a bit under the weather or as she would say, “I have the sick.”  So we’ve been trying to take it easy this weekend.  Hopefully, she’ll be back to normal in no time!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Olivia had a dentist appointment today and since this was her third checkup, you’d think it would be getting easier. Nope.  She screamed and cried and would hardly let them go near her mouth.  Thankfully, she goes to a great pediatric dentist who does the best that she can do and is really awesome with her.  Who knows when Olivia will ever let them take x-rays.  They even have a tv on the ceiling, but Olivia never tolerates having headphones on (she doesn’t like things on or around her ears.) So, it was a delightful appointment to say the least.  And as we were walking out, Olivia looked at me and said, “Well, it wasn’t that bad.”  Everyone began laughing at that point because of the fuss she’d made the whole time.  My sweet girl. . .things like that are just so tough on her.  Some day things will get easier, I hope.  At least she looked super cute today and had a great time playing at Izzy’s house afterwards. 

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Preschool. . .man, it’s tough.  Maybe more so on me, but it’s been an adjustment for all of us.  I’ve always led my daughter to believe that you don’t get up until the sun comes up (thus avoiding 5 am wake up times.)  The other day it was overcast and still pretty dark in her room when I went in to wake her up.  Olivia rolled over and said, “Mom, it’s not time to get up. .. the sun is not up yet!”  I know, darling, I know.  (Now I think she’s on to me and will someday realize that there is life before sunrise. Darn.)  But, truthfully, it’s tough to send her to preschool when she tells me she just wants to stay home.  And when I drop her off she tells me,”But I need you mommy and mommy needs me!”  There is a big window in her classroom that overlooks the parking lot.  She saw me pull up today and completely interrupted the class by shouting,”That’s my mommy!! My mom is coming! My mom is coming!” When I got to the classroom, she was still staring out the window.  I walked in and she came running to me saying, “I love you mommy!” Again. . .interrupting the class.  .  .sorry.  I don’t know if she just misses me that much or really doesn’t like school.  It’s still tons better than last year and last year she only went for an hour and a half!  At least the tears stop this year as soon as I leave.  It still doesn’t make it any easier on this mommy.

My silly cat, Tobey

Can I get a little push?

Who let the cat outta the bag?

Tobey always keeps us laughing.  He always has to be in the middle of everything.  I don’t know how many times a day I hear, “Mom!  Tobey’s bothering me!”  He just likes to play with all the same toys as Olivia.  Our house wouldn’t be the same without him

Friday, September 16, 2011

Things have been busy around here lately with Olivia in preschool my new part time job.  I work from home, so I tend to work a lot at night instead of updating the blog.  Currently, I’m updating a company’s facebook welcome page and have learned a lot about html code.  There’s still so much I need to learn though. . . it’s kind of overwhelming.

This past week, we visited the NICU where Olivia spent 105 days.  It was nice to see a few of the nurses.  Olivia loved it when one of them gave her a mask.  She thought that was the coolest thing ever!

Then, we celebrated my niece’s birthday.  Olivia was her “personal birthday assistant.”

Preschool is going well.  There have been some tears this week, which we didn’t see last week.  Did I ever tell you how hard it is to leave her when she’s crying, “But, mommy I need you!!!” Breaks my heart, but she stops crying as soon as I leave.  (Last year, she continued to cry all day.)

Four Year Old Checkup

Olivia had her four year old checkup today.  Overall, we have no major concerns, which is astonishing considering the fact she was born at 23 weeks.  He would like to see her put on a bit more weight, but she is still following her own curve, so he’s not concerned.  One thing I haven’t shared on the blog is our struggle with potty training.  It seems that society thinks that if you’re not potty trained by 2.5 years old, something is wrong.  I’m happy to report that within the last 3 weeks, Olivia became  fully potty trained!  I tried nothing different (except I was VERY determined) and it just clicked for Olivia.  She no longer even needs pull ups at night.  I’m sooooo proud of her.  And, when we can stay dry and use the potty at the state fair. ..I know we have it! LOL! 

Her doctor is going to refer us to a surgeon regarding the cyst/scar on her neck.  It’s possible that it extends far beneath the surface and would require a more extensive surgery.  At that point, we’d have to weigh the pros and cons.  It’s not causing any harm right now, but things tend to rub on it and Olivia has begun asking questions about it.  It’s just one of her battle scars that I hope she can be proud of!  What a miracle she is!!

Here are her 4 year old stats:

Weight: 27 lbs 4 oz – 1%

Height: 37.5 inches – 8%

BMI: 13 – 4%