Saturday, February 18, 2012

We decided to drive up to Hutchinson today and go to the Kansas Cosmosphere and Space Center.  Olivia has shown an interest lately in planets and rockets and space, so we thought she might enjoy it.  To be honest, I was never interested in any of that as a child so I’m trying to re-open my eyes to it.  LOL!  We even made it to an IMAX show about elephants and orangutans.   When the show first started, Olivia asked, “Are we IN the movie?” It was too cute.  I’ve always been impressed by the IMAX theater at the Cosmosphere  too. 

I guess we were both looking up at the wrong camera. . .

I think she had a good time.  Upon leaving, however, we found out that she was disappointed because she thought she was going there to ride in a rocket.  So, it didn’t quite live up to her expectations. 

Peacock

Around our house, we have Squinkies growing out of our ears!  Olivia got some last year in her Easter basket and has been mesmerized with them since.  Her very favorite one is her beloved Peacock (actually I think it’s a blue parakeet, but Olivia insists it is indeed a peacock.) Every time you see her, chances are, Peacock is tucked safely in her hands.  She even sleeps with it every night clutched in her fist.  (Until she wakes up at 3 am crying for Peacock and I’m in her room with a flashlight and hula hoop trying to retrieve it from under her bed.)

Anyway, a few months ago, we misplaced Peacock and after a few weeks of hearing Olivia pine over it, we figured out what series it came in and got her a new Peacock. We thought she’d be happy, but she told us it was NOT Peacock. It didn’t have big eyes, she said. I argued that it was exactly the same as her Peacock, but she consistently told me it was not. One happy day, Olivia found her old Peacock and was overjoyed!! And. . .come to find out. . .she was right.    

They are not the same because her peacock has bigger eyes. That’ll teach me not to argue with her. LOL! Notice that Peacock’s wings have both fallen off and it’s no longer shiny. But, to Olivia it is the most special toy in the world!

Olivia and her Peacock

Happy Valentines Day

I thought of making a candelit dinner for Ryan, but it wouldn’t quite have the same romantic feel with a 4 year old.  So, Olivia and I decided to put up streamers and blow up some balloons.  I even helped Olivia make daddy a cute handprint valentine. 

I did also make him his favorite dinner. . . .

and Olivia and I wrote down all the reasons that we love him.

Here are some of Olivia’s. 

*I love daddy because he gets me donuts.

*I love to watch Spiderman with daddy.

*I love daddy because he makes me lots of things.

*I love daddy because he plays Squinkies.  LOL!

Happy Valentines Day!

March for Babies 2012

The March for Babies is in 2 months.  This year, it is on Saturday, April 14, 2012 at 9 am.  The walk starts at 10 am.  If you’ve previously been on the Olivia and Logan Team, we’d LOVE to have you back to walk with us.  If you haven’t, please consider joining.  We have a great time together.  As Olivia gets old enough to understand what she endured, I want her to know how much she continues to be supported and loved.  This is also one of the few ways that I have to honor my son’s memory.  Together, who knows how many babies, like Olivia, will be saved.  The above video is one that I made for National Prematurity Awareness Day.  It also tells our story and why we march for babies.  It is something very near and dear to my heart.  If you cannot attend, please consider giving a small donation to our team. . .every little bit helps.  Just click on the link on the sidebar to your right.  Thank You! 

CiRcUs

We took Olivia to the circus for the first time today.  I don’t believe I had been since I was in elementary school.  I didn’t know that many people really went to the circus anymore, but it was packed!  I mean  “traffic backed up, no place to sit” packed!  We, however, had a great time!

FAC

A few weeks ago, I decided to join the neonatal FAC (family advisory council) at the hospital where Olivia and Logan were born.  I went to the first meeting and everything was fine until we went to tour the recently remodeled parent resource room.  I had no idea that I’d be walking into the room that I held Logan in the night that he died.  I was flooded with emotion and felt that I had made zero progress in the past 4+ years.  After much soul searching and prayer, I realized that I just could not regularly visit the NICU again or return to that room.  I talked to the head of the FAC about my feelings and she tried to think of other ways that I could help.  She then offered me my own column in their newsletter.  Hopefully, I’ll be able to think of what to say and ways to help parents currently going through the NICU.  I just have to think of the title of my column.  Any ideas??  Please leave your ideas in the comments section!  Also, Olivia will be featured on their Wall of Hope.  Hopefully, we’ll be able to bring hope to those in the NICU and with time, maybe I can venture back into that world to help others.  For now, I’m just going to have to do it from afar. 

There Are No Words

On Saturday,  I celebrated the life of Paxten along with her friends and family.  It was an amazing and memorable service and meant a lot to me as a fellow grieving mother.  I’ve been meaning to blog about it, but there are no words.  The pastor mentioned that children who lose their parents are called orphans.  One who loses a spouse is called a widow/widower.  But, there is no name for a parent grieving the loss of a child.  There are no words.  I pray for Blake and Libby as time goes on because the grieving never truly stops. . .it just takes different forms.  Like all parents who have lost a child, they will someday be asked, “How many children do you have?”  It’s amazing how many times I have been asked this question and I still don’t know how to answer.  There are no words.  Or someone will look straight at me and ask, “Can you even imagine losing a child?” as if I’ve never had to bury my own.  Most people, fortunately, cannot imagine it and God bless those who know the pain all too well.   I am and will become many more things in life, but I’ll always be a mother who lost her child. 

During times of heartache such as these, many people talk about taking the blessings that we have for granted.  I’ve never felt that we take Olivia for granted after all we’ve been through.  It’s not really the blessings that we are guilty of taking for granted. . .it’s the hardships.  Potty training Olivia was a very challenging task and I can’t say that I’d ever want to relive that.  But, Libby and Blake were unable to experience that with Paxten and I would have given anything to potty train Logan.  So, did I take potty training Olivia for granted?  Maybe I did.   The morning that it took me 2 hours just to get Olivia to eat a half of a banana?  I should praise God. Or the fact that she is unable to sit through an entire meal on her bottom without getting up to dance around?  Praise the Lord.   Thank you, God, for allowing me to experience parenthood.  I know I appreciate the good, but I ask God for the patience and grace to deal with the challenges that we as parents face. . .and to praise Him through it all.  Every child is a gift from God and one that could be returned at any moment.  

There are truly no words to describe the pain of losing a child and the pain I feel for Blake and Libby.  Please keep them and all the parents who have had to bury a child in your thoughts and prayers.  Sometimes it’s hard to find the words, but simply letting them know that you care means a lot. 

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Here are a few pics from the past week or so.  I’ve been kinda bad about getting them posted.

We’ve been heading to the park after I pick Olivia up from preschool.  Luckily, we’ve had a mild winter that has allowed us to do so. 

The other night, Olivia wanted to play dress up for the first time ever, I believe.  All we had were old Halloween costumes.  Remember this one?  From when she was 2??? LOL!

Halloween 2009

And, Olivia and her cousin, Izzy, showed up at grandma and grandpa’s house today with matching kitty outfits.  Those two are too cute!

Birthday song

When my daughter does anything, she gives it her all. . .even if it's singing happy birthday to her mom.  I love her enthusiasm and zest for life! 

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Today was my birthday and it was a great day.  I don’t know if it was the beautiful 60+ degree weather (it usually snows on my birthday) or the fact that I spent ALL day shopping by myself, but it was great.  I spent most of my birthday money on clothes for Olivia, but that is just as fun for me as shopping for myself.  I got her so many cute outfits and a new jacket for spring!  Come to think of it, my great day was probably due to the fact that I got my braces off today after 17 months!  What a great birthday present! 

My last picture with braces

Okay, so it’s not a very good picture of me, so just look at the teeth. Ha!  This is actually with my retainer in!  Things sure have advanced a lot since I had a retainer in high school.  I hope you all had a very blessed day today. . .it is the best day of the year after all.

Winner of the Giveaway

Thank you to all who entered the giveaway.  I seriously wish I had one to give to all of you.  I took all of the commenters and assigned them a number in the order that they commented.

1. Sarah

2. Julie

3. Kim

4. Brandi

5. Shawna

6. Cindy

7. Amanda

8. Angie

9. Jamie

10. R Jarvis

11. Stacie

12. Sarah

13. Jill

14. Shelley

Then, I went to www.random.org and entered in 1-14 and. . .

True Random Number Generator Min: 1 Max: 14  Result:2

The result was 2!  Julie, you are the winner!

I have to contact My Memories Suite to obtain your promo code that will enable you to purchase the software package for free.  As soon as I get that, I will contact you.  Thank you for entering!

To those who didn’t win (don’t worry, I never seem to win anything either) you can still purchase the software at My Memories for $10 off with promo code STMMMS18517.  You can also click on the link on my sidebar and it will take you to the site.

Thanks again to those who entered and who have continued to read my little ‘ole blog for 4+ years.  I really appreciate it. 

Somebody’s Praying

I put this video together a few weeks ago with the first Praying for Paxten pictures that I received.  Who knew that we would eventually receive almost 200 P4P pictures!  Paxten meant so much to so many people.  Blake and Libby continue to need our prayers and support.  Together, let’s carry them through this extremely difficult time.  Let God’s love shine through each and every one of us.  May we touch their lives the way they have touched ours. 

 

The Weaving

My life is but a weaving, between my God and me;
I do not choose the colors, He worketh steadily.
Oft times He weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper, and I the under side.
Not til the loom is silent, and shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why
The dark threads are as needful in the skillful Weaver’s hand
As threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned.

–Anonymous

Paxten Reede Pearson

March 10, 2010 -  January 29, 2012

Many of you have come to know Paxten.  She is the niece of my very best friends growing up and her family is like my own.  She was diagnosed with leukemia in December 2010.  She underwent a bone marrow transplant about a month and a half ago.  Although the transplant was successful, she suffered many post-transplant complications.  I’m so sad to tell you that sweet Paxten is now in the loving arms of Jesus.  She passed away earlier this evening.  Sometimes God does not answer our prayers the way that we want Him too, but He does have a purpose for it all. We just have to trust in that and in the fact that God does love us even when we are faced with unimaginable pain.  This is seemingly an easy thing to understand. . .until the thing you want most in the world is not to be.  I prayed and prayed for my son to remain on earth and yet that wasn’t God’s purpose for him.  I’ve spent the last four years trying to make sense of it all. It will probably never make sense to me. . .on earth.  God’s purpose is bigger than what our minds can comprehend.  But, God is in control and trusting in that is what faith is all about.  Paxten was such a special girl and her impact on this world will be felt for a long, long time.  Please continue to pray for her parents, Blake and Libby, and their entire family.  Keep them near and dear to your heart.

Here is a link to their caringbridge site. 

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/paxtenpearson

There is also a facebook group set up called Praying 4 Paxten:

https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/308943799148496/

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Olivia has known her letters and letter sounds for a really long time.  She has never, however, grasped the concept that letters go together to make words.  This week, in true Olivia fashion, she suddenly got it!  I was so proud of her!  Word after word, she would tell me what letter it started with by sounding it out.  Of course, she wanted to know how to spell the names of our cats and Autumn threw her for a loop.  Olivia guessed that it started with an O (like octopus) and I had to explain that it was a great guess and yet Autumn starts with an A.  Wait until she learns that Autumn ends with an n.  In retrospect, maybe I should have given Autumn a more phonetically correct name. . .LOL! 

I’m such a proud mommy. . .for too many reasons to count.  I love this girl!

Pizza 4 Paxten

Mark your calendars to remind you that Tues night, Jan 31st, is pizza night!  If you are interested in going, you must print out this flyer and take it with you to the Pizza Huts in Goddard, Maize, Valley Center or Park City.  I was thinking of reserving the room at Goddard Pizza Hut and a bunch of us could meet up, enjoy some pizza and raise money for Paxten.  Please let me know by Saturday if you are interested.   

Digital Scrapbooking Software Giveaway!

I am one of those people who tried paper scrapbooking, but I never latched on to it. I realized that I didn’t have the patience, time or space for paper scrapbooking. I, however, love to create designs online and I’m always looking for fresh ideas to create headers for my blog. So, about a year ago I started searching for a software program that was easy to use, reasonably priced and with many design options to choose from. I found that My Memories Suite (at that time was version 2) was ranked #1 out of 11 in digital scrapbooking software. After reading the stellar reviews, I placed it on my Christmas list and received it Dec 2010.

I have been quite pleased with this software and recently received the version 3 that I will be giving away. It doesn’t compare to programs such as Adobe Photoshop in terms of what it is capable of, but to me Adobe Photoshop has too high of a learning curve and too high of a price tag. Plus, I wanted something I could create without asking my husband for help every 10 minutes.

The software comes with quite a few templates, paper patterns and embellishments. If you are looking for something more specific, their design shop has hundreds of downloads that are reasonably priced for just a couple of dollars and many are even free. Downloading new kits is a simple, pain free process as is importing pictures to use in your designs. You can easily rotate images and add text boxes wherever you see fit and create a truly custom design. One of my favorite features is the color editing tool by using the Color Picker. It displays a preview of your page and you can click on the color that you wish to match, creating a truly uniform page. I used it below on my daughter’s 4^th birthday invitation.

Another creation of mine using the My Memories Suite software is the family tree that I made for my family. I printed it out, framed it and gave it as a Christmas gift.

Here are a few of my other creations, but you can also create photo albums, greeting cards, calendars, and even videos.

Nothing truly compares to the look of a paper scrapbook. If, however, you’ve decided digital scrapbooking is the better option for you, look no further than My Memories Suite. You will truly enjoy every aspect of this software. . .especially sharing your creations with your friends and family.

Not only is it a great digital scrapbooking software, but a great company who is giving one free copy of My Memories Suite version 3, valued at $39.97, to one of my blog readers! Simply leave a comment stating why you would like a copy of this software and/or what you would like to create. The winner will be randomly chosen from http://www.random.org/ Contest ends on January 31^st, 2012 at 10 pm CST.  Good luck!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

I sat down to write a post on a  issue that’s been tugging at my heart.  Sadly, I just don’t have it in me tonight to put it all into words.  Another time, perhaps.  So, I’ll keep this lighthearted and share a bit about what’s been going on lately.

The other day, Olivia was counting and I asked her how high she could count.

Olivia: 1,2,3,4,5 (she spoke really really fast.)

Me: No, not how fast you can count. . .how high can you count?

Olivia: (in a high pitched voice reaching up into the air (1,2,3,4,5. . . .)

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Olivia enjoys going with me to the pet store to buy supplies and food for the cats.  She loves looking at the animals.  The other day, she came upon a big barrel of pig ears. . .ya know, the kind dogs chew on?  It horrified her and intrigued her at the same time.  She’s been talking about it ever since.  This morning, I wanted to take her downstairs to show her a surprise (we re-organized the play room.)  With a look of horror, she asked, “Is it pig ears? I don’t want to see pig ears!”  Poor girl is going to have nightmares about pig ears.

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Yesterday, Olivia informed me that it was Ducky’s birthday.  She talked about it all day.  She even got out the wrapping paper and asked me if I’d help her wrap Ducky’s present.  So, we wrapped a few presents and sang happy birthday to Ducky.  If only I’d known, I would have baked him a little cake.  He’s 5 now, by the way.

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The Lost Broom

Sometime around Christmas, I lost my favorite broom along with the dustpan.  It was just a little hand broom with a dust pan and I never realized how much I used it until it was gone.  After preaching to Olivia about the importance of keeping track of your stuff, I go and lose a broom.  I have no idea what happened to it.  I figure that someone broke into our house, bypassed the tvs and computers and went straight for the broom.  They must have realized how awesome it was.  Yes, that must be it because the chance that it got thrown away with the Christmas trash just doesn’t seem very plausible.  LOL!  So, after a broomless month, I tried to find my exact broom on Amazon and ordered it.  It came last week and sadly, it’s not the same.  They must have cheapened it because, like most brooms, I’m back to chasing that little line of dust that doesn’t seem to get swept up.  But, it will have to do and I’ll always wonder what happened to my broom.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

I took Olivia to the dentist today.  On Sunday, she started telling me that her tooth was loose.  A few weeks ago, she watched The Berenstain Bears Visit The Dentist and Sister Bear had a loose tooth.  I thought she was kinda pulling my leg.  But, Olivia consistently pointed to the same tooth and I noticed that it was really bothering her.  I called the dentist who said it’s not uncommon to lose a tooth this early.  Then, you know me. . .I start worrying that it’s a cavity or something else wrong, so I got her in today.  They took an x-ray (with Olivia screaming and three people plus me holding her down. . .it was awful.)  No cavity and no sign of the tooth being loose, so we have NO idea what’s going on.  It’s one of her bottom front teeth, so that kinda rules out sinus problems or an earache.  I’ll just give her Tylenol when she complains a lot about it and see what happens, I guess.  What we did learn, after seeing the x-ray, is that Olivia’s permanent teeth are HUGE!  They are about twice as big as her baby teeth (that currently have no spaces between them.)  So,  they are about 100% sure that she will have to have her jaw expanded sometime between 7-9 years of age.  Her jaw is so narrow and tiny.  As soon as I get my dental work paid for (which is an insane amount of money!) it looks like we’ll be paying for hers. LOL! I laugh, because, what else can you do?  :)  Pray that her tooth gets to feeling better soon or that we figure out what is going on.