Red 40

I talked with my sister-in-law this past week about children having a sensitivity to food dyes, like Red 40.  I’ve mentioned before how some days Olivia unexpectedly goes into this hyperactive state and I “lose” her.  She is always very active, but sometimes she literally bounces off the walls.  So, I’ve been paying close attention to what she eats and how she responds.  Every time she has acted that way, I have found that she recently ate something with Red 40 in it.  Tonight she had chicken and rice with some chocolate milk.  No Red 40, so I wasn’t expecting any hyperactivity.  And then it started and it’s never good when we’ve just put Abigail to sleep.  I was a bit perplexed until I remembered the juice that she had AFTER dinner.  Red 40.  Needless to say, we will be getting rid of all food and drinks with Red 40 and I’ll be reading labels at the grocery store tomorrow.  I just hate that it has taken me 5 1/2 years to figure this out.

Keep Swimming

Kicking off Mother's Day weekend with some Saturday morning cartoons. Sheesh, remember when the only time you could watch cartoons was Saturday morning? And I always slept too late and by the time I woke up, they were over.


Then off to Olivia's swimming lessons.



She is having a tough time with them. It's so hard to watch her cover her eyes and cry on the edge of the pool. And she has always been uncomfortable laying on her back ( feels vulnerable maybe?) So trying to get her to float on her back is difficult. She doesn't relax and pulls her knees up to her chest.
Not only does she have sensory difficulties, but she also takes too much after me: doesn't want to go under water or get her hair wet, doesn't like windy days or getting her hands messy, etc. She even has the same nervous habits as me.

We started going swimming as a family after her lessons to help her feel more relaxed. We officially got a membership to the Y today. I'm excited to do a lot of things together as a family there. Olivia is still very nervous in the water even with us when we make her do anything remotely like swimming lessons. I know this is sooo good for her even though it is very difficult as well. Abigail loved the water, as I knew she would. She was as happy as can be. . .our little Abbigator.



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The Downbeats

Prayers for my dad. As many of you know, my dad played keyboard in a band called the Downbeats back in the 60s. I know the six band members have shared that bond over the years. One member had a stroke a few years ago. Another was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Another, Marty, who my dad is especially close to, is currently in the hospital and given a week or so to live. My dad has talked with Marty every day for years and has been able to visit him out at Table Rock a few times. I always hear," I forwarded that email to Marty or Marty sent me this today or Marty was so impressed by Olivia's piano playing, etc."

Please pray for Marty and his family. Also keep my dad in your prayers as he travels to see him this weekend to somehow say good-bye. Pray for them as the Downbeats are reunited this weekend for maybe the last time. My heart is so heavy. We could also use a big miracle!

Marty is the one on guitar standing up by my dad on keyboard.

http://youtu.be/2N3FDtpOOLE

Mama

So I had written about something entirely different today, but had to switch subjects. Abigail said Mama!! She was in her swing getting a bit restless, started jabbering and then said, "Mama!!" Olivia and I both looked at each other and then Olivia said, "Abigail said mama!!" LOL! It's only fair because Olivia said dada first. I was totally not expecting this yet!! She is also sitting up unassisted for a few seconds at a time! Crazy! I'm in no hurry for her to grow up. :-)

Eye Doctor

My daughter. . .she is one of the funniest people I know!




She had an eye appointment today. I heard a baby in the other room screaming and I thought," Bless your heart. Been there, done that."

As the lady was taking her back, Olivia asked," Where's my normal guy?" And she asked,"Am I gonna get drops today?" She hates to have her eyes dilated. She kept asking every person who came in that same question over and over even though we told her no.

As she was reading the picture chart, she came across this one:




Most kids say horse. Olivia said "Cowboy rider." This cracked the nurse up.

Then she had to stare at this red dot across the room while the nurse looked in her eyes. The nurse kept reminding her to look at the red dot and Olivia finally said,"But your head is in the way!" And she was literally standing right in front of her. Then Olivia started talking in her British accent and I cracked up from then on. Especially hilarious for a girl who has barely left the state of Kansas.

Anyway, please make a mental note of June 13th. That is the date of Olivia's second eye surgery (her first was at a year old.) Lots of prayers needed for that day. The surgery will be tightening her eye muscles due to strabismus. By a certain age, people can start to develop double vision/migraines and we are hoping to prevent that. It will be nice to get that out of the way before kindergarten!
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Party Time

We had a party for Olivia today. Probably the first party of its kind. . . . ever. LOL.



It was a 32 lb party celebrating her weight gain. Weight gain is something we have struggled with since birth. She has been 31.5 lbs for over 8 months and her doctor is starting to get concerned. A few months ago, I ran out of ideas. So, I told her when she got to 32 lbs, we'd throw her a party. I just wanted to encourage her to take that extra bite and make healthy choices for her body. Keeping my word, we had her party today.


No gifts. . .just cake and balloons
and she had a blast!


And I got to use up some old birthday plates and napkins. It was really just an excuse to get together, have fun and encourage Olivia.

Abigail appreciated cuddles in the quietness of her bedroom.


Daddy drew some funny faces






And Olivia did too.



What a great time we had. But, seriously, I'm exhausted. :)

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My Abigail

I am so in love with my baby girl. Seriously, like I want to go in and wake her up just to love on her. LOL! She is laughing all the time now. She laughed so hard tonight that she started snorting! Now THAT is some funny stuff. And she is sitting up on her own for about 5 seconds before she falls forward. Thank you, God, for blessing me with another miracle. I cannot say that she fills the void of Logan. He can never be replaced. But, I have not been this happy in a really long time.

Swimming Lessons

Olivia started swimming lessons today for the first time. She was really excited until she found out it wasn't going to be outside in her kiddie pool. She thought I was going to teach her out in the front yard. I guess I should have been more clear.




We showed up at the Y and she was excited again until mom and dad left to go watch her behind the glass.



She sat on the edge of the pool and just sobbed. Olivia really struggles with new situations when she doesn't know what to expect. Her swimming instructor was really good with her, though, and by the end of the 45 minutes she was in the water, smiling and waving at us. She ended up loving it.



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Firefighters and Parks

What a fun day! It was firefighter day at preschool and I got to come along. They had separate presentations for the kids and parents (lots of good info that I'll have to remember to share.) Then, we got to go outside and view the fire trucks.



One of the firefighters climbed to the top of the ladder and waved. It was really windy and the ladder swayed back and forth. I think the parents were in awe just like the kids.



First time in a fire truck.




She got done about an hour early and so we decided to do something fun just the two of us. Olivia had been wanting to see where I went to preschool and kindergarten for some time. So we drove to the town where I went to school from K-7th grade (then we moved to where my parents live today.) On the way home, she spotted a really cool park. It WAS really cool. I hadn't seen it in years. So, we stopped and played for awhile.






This purple slide was her favorite.




I promised we would come back really soon. Luckily, I know the family that lives across the street so we could play all day and have a great place for potty breaks and great conversation. LOL!


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My Amazing Olivia

My amazing Olivia. I keep thinking back to her preschool program. She was the most happy, expressive, excited, energetic child on stage. I was so proud to say she is MY child and my miracle. She takes on every challenge. . . .every opportunity with such gusto! Sometimes it's exhausting to this mama, but i wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm sure she was noticed by everyone at the program (she was in the front row after all.) Little did the audience members know that she was born at 1 lb 1.5 oz. She wasn't even considered "viable." She faced extraordinary challenges and the odds were not in her favor. And yet she thrives! She lives every moment to the fullest! The first person who tries to squelch her spirit. . .goodness, I will have words for them. Her dream is to one day become a butterfly. Not sure exactly what she has in mind. For two years now she has said that and how can I not be supportive? LOL! Whatever she wants to do, she finds a way to do it. I still remember the words of her NICU doctor when Olivia really turned a corner.

"She has decided to fly!!"


So proud of my Olivia Paige. May she never stop trying, never give up, never get discouraged and never stop flying!
Please share when you started reading this blog about Olivia and how you came upon it. We are so blessed to have you following our journey.




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Squinkies

The only thing Olivia loves almost as much as stuffed animals are Squinkies.  She has been crazy about them for over 2 years.  Of course, she only likes the animal ones.  She gives the people Squinkies away.  LOL!

After countless hours of playing with Squinkies, I’ve learned some different ways to play with them and use them as teaching tools.  Olivia does not respond well to “let’s sit down and learn.” I have to sneak it in whenever possible.

The small size of Squinkies make them great for improving fine motor skills.  They come with many fun houses, cars and play sets.

We tell stories with them.  We also categorize them by animal or by color or by habitat, etc.  We guestimate as to which group will be the biggest.  For example, do you think there are more pink or yellow Squinkies?  Then we count them.

We practice writing our letters with them.

Sometimes we choose letters and place Squinkies on them that start with that letter.  The possibilities are endless.

Now, the true challenge will be to keep them out of Abigail’s hands until she’s old enough to learn with them as well. 

Kidslink Preschool

Olivia has anxiety about a lot of things, but preschool ( and being on stage ) is not one of them. She had her last preschool program tonight. Boy, she did good. I told her to sing from her heart and did she ever! Then, she clapped and pointed at us after every song. Hilarious! I cannot say enough good things about her preschool and her teacher. On the way to school today, she asked how many days she has left. So, we counted them on the calendar after school. Seven. Seven days left of preschool and Olivia cried.

"I'll always remember Kidslink in my heart. I can't believe I'll never go to Kidslink again!" And more tears.

Kindergarten has A LOT to live up to. I think the bar has been set pretty high.










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Opinionated Abigail

This girl. . .love her to pieces.




I can't say that she is a "difficult" baby, but she's not really easy either. She has her opinions and when she's not happy, she lets you know. She does not like to ride in her stroller. So, say I have to run into Target really quick and I need two hands. She screams bloody murder!! People look at me like there is something horribly wrong with my baby. . .like I've neglected to feed her or change her, etc. Have they never heard a baby cry before? Ok, maybe not quite like Abigail. Nothing is truly wrong. I pick her up and she's all smiles again. Unless, maybe, she wants to swing in her swing? Then, she wont stop crying until I put her in her swing. Or, maybe she wants to sit in her Bumbo and play with her Sing A Long Stage?




She will scream and cry until I go through the list of everything she could possibly need. And finally I choose the right one. Except baths. Those will always make her smile.




No pictures right now, mom.

Haha! I think she is going to be very stubborn like her daddy (which used to be cute, but after almost 10 years of marriage? Not so cute anymore. :-) One thing I've learned is that their personality as a baby is pretty close to what it is when they are older. I remember Olivia being wiggly and active and loving music in the NICU. Ha! Logan would desat when we sang to him, but Olivia's numbers would always improve!

We have Olivia's preschool program tonight at Abigail's bedtime. She must be laying down in her crib by that time or she is not happy. So, this should be fun. Yikes!

But, she really is a doll baby. Great eater, great sleeper, cute as a button. Love her to pieces! Love to see her personality blossom!!




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Zoo Day

Eighty degrees here today so the four of us went to the zoo. Olivia even complained about being a little hot. Abigail did great for awhile and then she did not. LOL! But, it was a great time!

A Line In The Sand

You sometimes get to a point in your life where you draw that proverbial line in the sand and say THIS is when my life is going to change.  THIS is when it is going to get better.

In my case I am talking about the health and happiness of me and my family.  It takes a lot to get to that line, unfortunately, and a lot of time and effort and money is wasted in the process.  I am 35 years old.  I’m not overweight and yet I have type II diabetes.  I’m the most fatigued person I know.  My husband is probably a close second.  I’ve suffered with restless legs for over 3 years now and I’m unable to sleep without medication for it.  I have headaches. . .a lot.  I’ve suffered many bouts of depression over the years.  I have had faith that SOMEDAY a doctor would “figure it out” and I would be given a magical pill and no longer feel imprisoned by these things.  Many, many years and many, many thousands of dollars and prayers later. . .they all still negatively affect my life.  And I’m done. 

My husband and I are starting on a journey.  I have high hopes as I have seen the changes in my own friends and people on a similar journey.  Pounds being lost, confidence being built, energy being increased, restless legs improving, prescription meds (including high cholesterol meds and insulin) being discontinued.  I’m skeptical, but very very hopeful.  My energy has already increased and I don’t find myself napping with Abigail when Olivia is at preschool.  And, a few nights ago, for the first time in 3 years, I slept without medication for my legs.  I seriously cried when I woke up the next morning.  And this is just the beginning.  I’ll keep you updated on our progress.  Who knows. . .someday someone might say, “That Jodi. . .she just doesn’t stop!” LOL! Please please pray for me and my husband. Please pray that we start living again instead of letting our health negatively affect our life.  And, if you too find yourself at “that line” I am always here to help.

Spring Weather, Finally!

We spent the afternoon outside in this gorgeous weather! Abigail got to swing outside for the first time. She loved it!!





I found out that she has a really big head! Hardly any of Olivia's hats fit her head. I think many of them Olivia could still wear! And she loved the shades. Again, Olivia wore them when she was about 4 years old. LOL!



We went for a walk later. Abigail just does not like her car seat OR stroller, so we have to carry her everywhere. Wondering how our summertime adventures are going to go. . .maybe once she can eat finger foods, she'll like her stroller more.

For now, she loves her snuggles!!


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Olivia At 5 1/2 Years

Numbers

Olivia has been working really really hard on writing her numbers. I'm so proud of her. What ultimately worked is something she does in preschool. . .writing them in the air. It's so cute because whatever she writes in the air, she never forgets to erase. LOL! And if she wants to save it, she puts it in her pocket. What a great way to practice without getting frustrated because something doesn't look quite right. Have I mentioned that I love her preschool teacher? Anyway, she was ecstatic that she can now write ANY number, even 129,367,458.




And, according to Olivia, that three is just tired so it's laying down and the nine isn't upside down. It likes to stand on its head. My bad. She knows what she is doing. Only my daughter could personify numbers. LOL!

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Healthy Grieving

And this is why this blog has been so wonderful for me. Thanks for letting me tell my story over and over again.


Healthy Grieving: Step Four
Day 54

The fourth step in healthy grieving is to tell your story to others. Give someone an honest account of your loss.

"Grieving means talking about what you're going through in the presence of some other people and letting them react to you," says Dr. Jim Conway.

So how do you find the right people to share with? First consider your family members. Then consider sharing with members of a grief recovery group. If these options are not good for you, as mentioned previously, try to find someone in your church or neighborhood who has experienced a loss similar to yours. If you tell him or her that you need someone to talk to, that person will likely be glad to meet with you.

It may seem easier and more desirable to keep your words, thoughts, and emotions inside and to busy yourself with work and activities to help you forget. But that forgetfulness is short-lived and ultimately ineffective. True healing will only occur when you slow down and let grief run its course.

"Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles" (Philippians 4:14).

Lord Jesus, You know what is best for me much more than I ever will. Open my heart and my mouth and enable me to share my story with others. Amen.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

It's been a busy day today. Olivia had a dentist appointment this morning and did great. Remember when she would cry and cry? I did learn something interesting. My dad and I ( and I believe my dad's mom) were born without a permanent upper right lateral tooth. After x rays, we learned that Olivia DOES have a permanent tooth there. However, she does not have one of her permanent molars. Basically, her premolar on the upper right that she has now does not have a permanent tooth behind it. So, she does unfortunately take a bit after me.

We also had kindergarten testing this afternoon. She didn't do nearly as well as I know she can. Probably because I told her I'd be with her and I wasn't. She is very bothered by the unexpected. This was the first time I have ever heard anyone have concerns about her speech. She has wonderful enunciation and has always been a great communicator. They seemed a bit concerned with her fine motor skills as well as her attention. I'll be honest. I've always been super concerned with her attention, but her preschool teacher keeps her on track very well. So, I figured it was partly me. But, I'm so nervous about her teacher next year and hoping it's a good fit for her. She LOVES her preschool teacher. Some children do fine with any teacher. Olivia's year, I'm afraid, will depend greatly on her relationship with the teacher. Praying for a good fit and one that is very sensitive to her unique needs. Praying praying praying.

Now, I'd better get back to wiping Abigail's nose for the millionth time today. :-)



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