NIne Year Checkup

Today Olivia had her 9 year checkup. . .nine years!!  Sometimes I just can't believe it!  I always post her stats here so that I'll know where to look when I need them (and inevitably lose the piece of paper it's written on.)

Weight:  45.0 lbs  = less than 3%
Height:  48 inches = 2%
BMI: 13 = 5%

Her growth is not quite as good as they want it.  I don't think it matters how tall she ends up, but for her sake, I hope she's at least over 5 ft.  When reminded of her small size, Olivia smiles and says:

God must have known I wanted to be a preschool teacher.  You don't have to be very big to do that.

I love her outlook.  If only everyone could approach life the Olivia way.

Olivia is having a bone age study done, which is basically an x-ray of her hand.  That will determine whether we need to test her growth hormones or not.  Here is a bit more information about it.

http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/xray-bone-age.html

I haven't written on here about our struggles over the summer.  Sometime I will try to write a post about it.  I'll just say that Olivia now currently sees a pediatric nephrologist and urologist.  It was a stressful summer searching for answers.  It's an ongoing health issue that we've been dealing with since about May.  So, I ask for prayers in regards to that health issue, prayers for her growth, overall health and happiness.  I'm not sure anyone reads this blog anymore since I stopped blogging for quite awhile.  But, if you still read it (and have from the beginning or just started) I would love to hear from you.  Leave a comment or simply email me at jsail63@hotmail.com.  In the comment section write something about the blog as I'm known to just click through and delete messages.  Thanks!

Olivia Paige

I worry about my children just like any other parent. . .okay, probably a bit more knowing me.  My worries change as my children change and grow.  I've recently realized that Olivia has a lot of trouble knowing how to just hang out and socialize.  This worries me as a lot of what pre-teens and teenagers do is socialize instead of play together. It is extremely difficult for her to have the reciprocal communication needed on the telephone and any back and forth conversation between peers is tough.  She socializes with her family just fine as we know her and understand her.  She's such a kind, lovable, extremely funny girl with many talents that the world has yet to see.  But, as a mom I worry.  Olivia is so blessed with the friends that she has who understand her, help her and love her (how can you not?)  I pray that the world is kind to her and that she learns to open up to other people.

Our new family picture at the pumpkin patch

My sweet Olivia Paige

She was brave and tried and zip line for the first time and loved it.

Slingshot pumpkins

These are two of her very sweet friends.

This is my new favorite picture of the girls with their cousins/best friends.  Olivia is extremely close to her cousin, Izzy, who is just a week older than her. 

Updated Pics

It's been a long time since I updated the blog.  Yikes!  We are doing well.  Olivia is now in 3rd grade and just celebrated her 9th birthday.  Abigail started preschool last week and will be 4 years old in November.  Time flies!  I will try to update again before 6 months passes me by.

My Girls

I am so blessed with these two amazing girls.  They are so different from each other, yet both so wonderful and special.  And they are truly each other's best friend. 

Growing Up

I hope all of you are having a wonderful New Year. We have been doing well.


We got our hair cut recently and Abigail was adamant about getting green hair. Ha! What does this say about her teenage years? Yikes!



She is a born leader, however, at this age I cringe when I hear her say," Hey, I have an idea!" You never know what she has come up with. She is the first of my children to cut her hair, put a Lego up her nose, swallow a penny, etc. Her ideas aren't always the best. Ha!


Olivia really likes second grade and got all As and 1 B on her report card. She continues to take piano lessons and does really well with that.



Love my two girls. I am very blessed.


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Christmas #1

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School Picture Retakes

For the first time in Olivia's life (and mine) we did school picture retakes. Her first pictures just didn't quite turn out very well. I'm so glad we did because the second ones turned out so much better.

Second Grade



We also had family pictures taken a few weeks ago and I'll be sharing those shortly. They turned out good as well. I love pictures.

Here are a few more of both girls.















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Happy Halloween

This year we had an old lady and a princess. I thought Olivia's costume was a hoot! She played the part very well too and had a lot of fun with it. Abigail the princess could have gone trick or treating all night. . .well at least until the clock struck midnight. She loved it! Hope everyone's Halloween was great!














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Understanding

Having a child on the autism spectrum sometimes cannot be explained. It must be experienced to truly understand what it is like for the child. You must be willing to feel their difficulties with your heart in order to help them through. Even the simplest things can be the hardest. And those are the things that society understands the least which makes them even harder still!

Change is really hard for Olivia, especially when it comes to her room. I'm unable to change out a picture, remove a big item or rearrange furniture without a huge meltdown. Today I went to Target knowing that Olivia needed new sheets. Her Circo Happy Flower fitted sheet is torn in the corner and needed replaced. Unfortunately, those particular sheets can no longer be purchased. So, I bought the closest thing I could find, which of course is still night and day different to Olivia. And I washed them and I put them on her bed. I debated whether doing that or explaining it to her beforehand, but I knew either way would be hard. She spotted her new pillowcase and came out sobbing. She continued sobbing off and on throughout the entire evening and it increased closer to bedtime. Sleeping with different sheets is a huge thing to her. And as her mother, I feel her anxiety whereas some people would become angry and tell her to get over it. That's how the world often responds to those with autism. . .especially to those who appear "just fine" on the outside. Olivia is old enough now that she can explain how change and surprises are very hard for her. She knows most people don't respond the way she does. She doesn't understand why she feels the way she does, but knows herself pretty well. And I've learned right along with her. Without her as my guide, I would not be the mom I am today. She makes me better, more compassionate, more aware. . . I mean, how many other moms know the location of every manual toilet/non-stall bathroom in their surrounding areas? Olivia has a crippling fear of automatic flushing toilets, so I don't just memorize those by choice. It's a necessity.

Anyway, I left the new sheets on, but switched her pillowcase back and let her take her old sheets to bed with her. It will be a tough transition. We went through this a few weeks back with her beloved pajama pants that had gotten a huge hole in them. Baby steps. Baby steps. And understanding. That's all anyone needs. . .is to be understood and accepted for who they are. For those times when change is hard, I feel it is up to me to guide her, very slowly, but in the direction she needs to go. She doesn't just make me a better mom. She makes me a better person.







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Progress Report

Guess who has all As and one B in second grade? I am beyond proud of Olivia. The older she gets, the more she thrives! Love my sweet girl!



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Recital

Olivia had her first piano recital on September 29th. She did beautifully! She has such a natural talent. . .it's amazing! I was so proud of her!











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Logan

Monday, Sept 28th, marks eight years since Logan's death. I am a different person than I was before that day.

I used to believe that God would grant your deepest desires if you prayed hard enough. He doesn't. Every experience, whether good or bad, can be used for HIS glory. And, although eight years later, I still don't understand the purpose of losing my son, I trust that there is one. I trust that God's will for my life is better than my own. That is the toughest realization I have ever come to. It sounds easy until God's plan includes taking your only son. But, I have come a long way in accepting it and trusting in Him.

I still miss him every day. I still get angry. I still cry. I'm still overprotective and anxious about my other children. I'm still sad. I'm still exhausted. I'll never be who I was. I wish I could say I was, but I'm not as joyful. I don't laugh as often. I'm not at all carefree. I'm not as fun. And I hate that for my other children. I try every day to be more of the mom that I might have been had I not experienced such a loss. But with each passing year, I find it hard to find her.

But, every year I take this time to be sad and filled with grief. And I give myself permission to do that. When you open your heart to such great love, such as the love of a mother for her child. . .you open yourself up to great loss. And as hard as it was to lose him, I've never wished for him not to be. For he was my Logan, my sweet boy, and I am still blessed to be his mother.




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Happy 8th Birthday

Olivia turned 8 years old last week. I can't believe it has been eight years. We celebrated with a butterfly party and some outdoor water fun. Too bad it was in the lower 70s. Q






























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