Happy Father’s Day

(I was unable to get this to post yesterday, so here it is a day late.)

God took the strength of a mountain,

The majesty of a tree,

The warmth of a summer sun,

The calm of a quiet sea,

The generous soul of nature,

The comforting arm of night,

The wisdom of the ages,

The power of the eagle's flight,

The joy of a morning in spring,

The faith of a mustard seed,

The patience of eternity,

The depth of a family need,

Then God combined these qualities,

When there was nothing more to add,

He knew His masterpiece was complete,

And so,

He called it ... Dad

- Author Unknown

Birthday/Father’s Day Celebration

Today, we celebrated Grandma Sailing’s birthday.  Since Father’s Day is tomorrow, we celebrated that as well with pizza, cake and outdoor fun. 

Grandpa Sailing

Olivia and Grandpa Sailing having a swinging good time.

Izzy is loaded and ready to fight!

Let the water fights begin!

Watch out Uncle Donnie!  Your daughter is gonna get you!

Watch out Grandma Sailing! 

Taking time out for a splash in the pool.

Olivia absolutely loved sliding down into the pool.

She could have done this all day.

But, they were ready for cake and ice cream.

Happy Birthday Grandma Sailing!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Eating and sleeping, eating and sleeping. . .two things that I’m finding great comfort in right now.  The sleeping is acceptable, but the eating I have got to get a grip of. . .being that I am diabetic.  I don’t know how many more cheeseburgers and fries and ice cream my body can handle.  But, for some reason it makes me feel better.  I tried to eat healthy when I was pregnant and now I’m sort of granting myself permission to eat horribly.  I will get back on track soon, though.  I promise.  Just as soon as I stop feeling sorry for myself.

I’m really doing okay.  I’m pretty down, but nothing more than most people feel under similar circumstances.  Miscarriage is unfortunately a very common occurrence.  It seems lately I have known many more people than usual who have suffered through one.  And my heart breaks for every one of them.  As you know, I would love to have another child.  I do, however, feel unbelievably blessed with the daughter that I have.  She is the light of our lives.  And, if I never get the privilege of having another child. . .I am more than blessed with what I have. 

But, I tell ya. . .the good news keeps rollin in for our family.  (I’m being sarcastic if you can’t tell.)  Ryan’s grandmother was taken to the hospital by ambulance last night.  She currently has some  blood clots that are being monitored and addressed.  Lots of prayers for her and her family. 

Thursday, June 16, 2011

This is one of those really hard posts to write and I’ve written many of those over the past few years.  Today was going to be the day.  I didn’t know yet how I was going to announce it, but I was finally going to let everyone know. . .that I was pregnant.  Would I post a sonogram picture? Maybe.  Put Olivia in her big sister t shirt? Possibly.  It all still seemed surreal to me.  We tried three years and almost a dozen fertility treatments to achieve my first pregnancy.  This time. . .it was a complete surprise.  What an amazing blessing among the many hardships of life!  God was giving me a second chance at being pregnant and I was so grateful.  I would hopefully be able to experience all that I missed the first time when my pregnancy was cut short.  Olivia was being given another sibling that she could grow up with. . .handpicked by her brother in heaven.  I was due in January.  Life began to make a little sense again.  Until today.

Ryan and I went to my OB appointment in hopes to hear the heartbeat for the first time.  Instead, we learned that we had lost the baby.  I am feeling pretty numb and angry.  Why would God surprise me with a pregnancy only to take it away?    I still struggle with why God gave me Logan only to take him away.   I don’t understand and can’t quite wrap my mind around it all.  I am devastated and heartbroken.  Yet, I am grateful.  I’ll never forget the morning when I got the positive pregnancy test and the joy of sharing it with the few people that we told.  It was such an unexpected and wonderful surprise.  I’ll never forget the belly shots that my husband took of me every Sunday to mark the beginning of another week.  I was just “barely” starting to show.  I’ll never forget my cravings for garlic parmesan buffalo wings. . .I could have eaten them every day.  And, I don’t even like buffalo wings.  I’ll never forget how Olivia would tell people that she was “going to be a big brother.”  She had no idea what was in store for her, but she would have been a great big sister.  Yet again, Olivia will pull us through this deep dark hole we’re in.  Somewhere in the midst of my confusion and anger. . .there is gratitude.  I never took a second of my pregnancy for granted.  I embraced it.  I rejoiced in it and I will forever remember my second pregnancy and all the hopes and dreams it carried.   I have my wonderful husband, my amazing daughter and a God who loves me (even when it feels like He doesn’t.)  I will be okay.

My last belly shot. . .

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

It cracks me up how young children think out loud.  For instance, I told Olivia that she didn’t need anymore toothpaste and she muttered, “I’m going to go get more toothpaste.”  Then, she looked at me like, “Did I just say that out loud?”  And, she is really into making up words.  We were looking out the window at Subway the other day and a water pipe was sticking up from the ground.  She said it was a tweetbelt.  And, the other day she said she wanted jam-o-rama for lunch (so I made her a peanut butter and jam-o-rama sandwich.)  She’s always cracking herself up with funny words.

I also wanted to ask for prayers for my mother-in-law who was admitted to the hospital yesterday with viral meningitis.  Please pray for a quick and full recovery. 

On The Mend

Tobey came home from the vet yesterday.  They believe that he injured his tailbone when he was a young kitten and it never healed properly.  Then, he must have recently aggravated it.  They believe the pain from it was preventing him from going to the bathroom which caused more problems.  But, he is home and doing well.  He’s still not back to his old self, but in time I hope to see that Tobey spark again. 

When It Rains, It Pours. . .

and hails and breaks your basement windows.

We had awful storms tonight and the worst hail that I’ve ever seen.  It broke three out of our four basement windows and I hate to even think about how our roof is holding up. 

I took this picture after it had been hailing for 20+ minutes, so the really large hail had already started melting.  But, it was insane! 

On top of this today, our cat Tobey had to spend all day and night at the vet’s office.  Last night, he could barely walk.  He would just collapse on the floor.  After running a multitude of tests, they found that he was severely constipated/impacted.  They saw something suspicious near his tailbone on an x-ray, but are going to further investigate tomorrow.  We’re not quite sure what is going on with him, but our house isn’t the same without him.  Please pray that he can come back home soon. . .healthy and ornery as ever!

Prayers

It’s been a rough couple of weeks for me and my family.  It started with my grandma having a heart attack.  Today she was finally dismissed from the hospital where she has been on dialysis and is now in a rehabilitation hospital.  Please pray for her recovery and that she keeps her spirits up. Pray for my mom who is growing weary from trying to take care of everyone.  Pray for my mother-in-law who was recently diagnosed with bell’s palsy.  My week has also included a trip to the ER ( for me) and a trip to the dentist (for my husband) that resulted in a tooth being pulled.  He’ll now need an implant.  It’s just been really tough. . .most of it I can’t even discuss.  Please keep my entire family in your prayers.  I promise I’ll get back to blogging once everything settles down.

My Masterpiece

Restless Legs

The sounds of others sleeping is torture when you cannot sleep yourself.  This is night four of suffering with restless legs again.  I’ve only gotten 2-3 hours of sleep each night.  Restless legs is an awful thing.  The more tired you get, the worse they become which makes it impossible to fall asleep.  I feel like I’m losing my mind.  Tonight I have the added bonus of a headache on top of it. .  .must be my lucky night.  Please pray that this passes quickly and I’m able to get a full night’s sleep. 

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Remembering. . .

my son, Logan,

my Grandpa Jackson,

and all those who have gone before us.  Remembering the men and women who gave their lives for our country.  May they never be forgotten.  God Bless!

Logan

Because it’s Memorial Day weekend, I’ve been thinking a lot about my little boy.  I’ve been getting quite emotional.  He is so missed every single day.  I thank God, however, for Logan’s time on earth and the chance to name him, love him, see him, touch him.  I thank God for his sister, Olivia.  She reminds me that there are miracles in this world.  What a wondrous God we serve!!  May we never forget our blessings here on earth and those that await us in heaven!

Last Day of School

Today was Olivia’s last day of school and they celebrated with a party that Ryan and I were both able to attend.  They played games and ate hotdogs and Smores.  It was kinda sad because she won’t be attending this preschool next fall.  She will, however, attend this school for Kindergarten – 4th grade.  She learned a lot this year and has come a long way.  I’m so proud of her!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Sorry for the delay in writing.  Ryan and I went to Kansas City for a weekend getaway following a really tough week.  We had a good time shopping and relaxing and just being together.  We couldn’t believe how nice the weather was when we returned, so we headed outside to play.

We started off with the water table, but realized that what Olivia really needed was a pool.

So, we dug out Olivia’s old pool and filled it up.

She had so much fun!  What a fun afternoon filled with shrieks and squeals of excitement!

I think this was the first year that she really had fun in her pool!

I had to practically drag her inside after we’d been out there all afternoon! 

And, don’t you just love her giraffe swimsuit that we found at Gymboree?  What a fun afternoon! 

Two Heartbreakers

Monday, May 16, 2011

Olivia, Izzy and Jake at the zoo

It was a beautiful day out today, so we met some friends at the zoo.  I knew it was time to leave, however, when Olivia started complaining because she didn’t want her shadow following her.  The strangest things bother her. . .like, at night she doesn’t like her room to be dark.  That’s common enough, right?  A lot of kids are afraid of the dark.  But, Olivia is not afraid of the dark, she just doesn’t like it dark because “she can’t see Lily’s mouth.”  Ahhh. . .Lily:  Her baby, her companion, her best friend.  If you look back through previous posts, you’ll notice Lily is in about every picture. . .including the one above.  She goes everywhere with us and they cannot be separated.  It’s really very endearing.  Most girls carry around a baby doll, but Olivia carries around a little frog.  Too cute!