Saturday, November 22, 2008 - Update

Olivia and I hung out at Grandpa and Grandma Sailing's house this afternoon. It was nice to get out of the house and Ryan had to go into the office. She was an angel. My parents continue to be amazed at her progress each time they see her.

We met with her nutritionist yesterday and are going to be starting her on Pediasure to see how she does. It has 30 calories per ounce and more nutrients than whole milk. Until she starts eating more solid food, we're going to wait on the whole milk and try to get her off formula. I know some of you mentioned Carnation Instant Breakfast. . .is anyone using Pediasure? Do your children like it?

Also, it's that time of year for dry skin and Olivia's cheeks and lips get pretty chapped. Last year, we had a humidifier that worked really well, but it ended up moldy at the end of the winter. Is there something else that we could use? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

He'll Always Be My Son

A few days ago, Neva left a really good comment about grieving parents. Sometimes it's difficult to talk about Logan, but I always want to talk about him. Most of you didn't get to meet him, but he was here and he was perfect. He was my son, he was a cousin, a nephew, a brother, a grandson, a great-grandson. . .and just because he's no longer here doesn't mean he is no longer any of those things. He'll always be my son. I am not, nor will I ever be, the same person that I'd be if he was still here. Planning your child's funeral breaks something inside of you that can never be repaired. Ryan is not the same person and neither is Olivia. It's hard sometimes to wonder what Olivia would be like with Logan around. Would they play together? Would they laugh at each other? Would they be inseparable? Would they fight like siblings do? Sometimes when I watch Olivia play. . .I picture Logan beside her and wonder what if. I think those thoughts will run through my mind forever. I will never forget him. Thank you for allowing me to share Logan and his amazing sister with you.

Thursday, November 20, 2008 - Update

Olivia has decided that she will refuse any new food that I give her, but is very open to food that she can feed herself. Now that she is getting better with finger-feeding, I have started putting many different foods on her tray. Yesterday, in addition to her usual Puffs, Cheerios, and Cheetos. . .I added some cheese and a few of these cinnamon snap cookies. She tried them, however, a little bit later her chin broke out in a rash. I had also tried some whole milk with chocolate Carnation Instant Breakfast, but she only took 1-2 swallows of it. I was talking to my sister-in-law, Shelley, and found out that Izzy gets a rash from cinnamon. I'm going to experiment a bit more with it to see what happens, but I'll wait awhile.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008 - Update

Oh. . . there's my guinea pig!

Olivia was visited by her Rainbows teacher and occupational therapist this morning. She really hammed it up and showed off for them. Olivia flashed them her "shy" smile, laughed at them, ate a few Puffs on her own and played with all of her toys. It's just amazing to watch her world open up for her as she realizes all of the many things that she can do.

Okay, so I had an errand that I had to run today and thought it would be okay if I took Olivia with me. It did not go as planned. I put her in her stroller because that's the best way to keep her from being exposed to germs, etc. It allows me to be free to touch things and can sanitize my hands before I pick her up. (This is a well thought out plan.) Well, she started crying and was twisting her body around to reach for me so that I would pick her up. Then, a lady came over and out of nowhere. . .reached down and touched her hand!! Usually, people don't sneak up on me like that because I have eyes in the back of my head. That is even with the "Please wash your hands before touching mine" sign on her stroller. I was mortified and wiped her hand off, etc. I know many parents of full term babies who don't like people coming up to touch their baby. . .especially during RSV season. Just a reminder. . .if you see a baby. . .you can smile at him/her, make silly faces, sounds. . .even dance a jig. . .but, don't touch!! It gives some of us a heart attack.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008 - Update

Olivia has been making huge strides lately. She's pulling herself around on the floor. She'll even get up on her knees and forearms. We're trying to spend as much time as possible hanging out on the floor (which also works well for a tired mommy.) She's finally showing interest in getting items that are just out of reach. Previously, if she couldn't reach out and touch it, she didn't want it.

Well, I decided against a cleaning lady. . .I know. . .dumb move. I'm one of those people that has to clean everything before the cleaning lady comes. Once everything is picked up, it doesn't seem that difficult to run the vacuum. Plus, I think it would work better if I wasn't home when she was here and. . .well, I have nowhere to go. I'll probably regret it by next week, I'm sure.

Monday, November 17, 2008 - Update

This is my new walker.
I'm fascinated by the toy tray.
I could play with this all day.

Well, her walker came last week. We cleared it with our PT before we purchased it and like anything. . .moderation is the key. Olivia is still a bit too short on the lowest setting to make it move. It's also hard to move on carpet. She likes to stand in it, however. She does enjoy making all of the sounds and playing the music. I'm sure it's good to continue practicing to bear weight on her legs. And, it's nice that she can stand while I run into the other room without fear that she'll fall down. There are two things that I said I would never buy my child. . .a jumperoo and a walker. Olivia has both. Oh well. I still don't regret the jumperoo as she loves it and it has really helped her grab on to things.

The weather was beautiful yesterday, so the three of us made a short trip to the zoo. It was totally worth it to see the male lion stand up on his rock and roar. You know, I don't know that I have ever watched a lion roar in real life. Plus, the mother lion and cubs were on the ground below him. It was a pretty magnificent sight and well worth the trip. I just wish I had remembered my camera.

Sunday, November 16, 2008 - Update

Daddy, I love playing games with you!

We play cops and robbers: I surrender!

We pretend we're spies: The eagle has left the nest. . .repeat. . .the eagle has left the nest.

But, it's not all fun and games. Here I am learning how to crawl. Whatever we do, I love spending time with my daddy.

Lately, I've been at a loss as to what to talk about. I'm still tired, but you already know that. I miss bread. I love my husband. Olivia is a fabulous little girl. . .I guess that can't be said too many times. She is more of a miracle every day. After some research, we think she is having some problems with over-stimulation. It occurs at night when visitors come over to the house. She can go to the grocery store with all sorts of noises and unfamiliar faces and she's fine as long as we're holding her. But, when anybody comes through the front door of HER house after 6 pm. . . .she goes ballistic. Sometimes it seems that she's going to hyperventilate. Then, just when she's calmed down, a familiar noise like the ice maker will set her off again. She wary of any male who is not daddy. I wish I knew how to help her more. We try to take her to a quiet room and give her a chance to calm down. It just breaks my heart. Is this common with children. . .especially micro-preemies? Any change in routine at night is very difficult for her. Hmmm. . .I wonder if Ryan and I will ever be able to go somewhere at night by ourselves?