Saturday, April 12, 2008 - Update

Today was grumpy day at our house. I don't know who was grumpier. . .Ryan or Olivia. I was teetering on the edge of grumpy, so Olivia and I curled up in the recliner and took a nap. . .for 2 hours! We hadn't taken an afternoon nap together in the long time.

Olivia also had her first taste of rice cereal today. At first she was really mad because she was hungry and didn't know why I wasn't giving her a bottle. So, I gave her about half of her bottle and then we tried the cereal again before finishing the bottle. She didn't seem to mind it so much, but I mixed it with her formula so something about it was familiar. Before I know it, she'll probably be stealing my french fries.

The day my dreams came true!

Tomorrow is April 13th. Last year, on April 13th it snowed. How do I remember that? Well, I remember everything about that day. . .it's the day that I found out I was pregnant.

It was a Friday and before work that day, I headed to the doctor's office. They required a pregnancy test each month before starting on the medications again. Usually, I had taken numerous home pregnancy tests beforehand, but not that month. I hadn't taken a single one. I was tired of wasting money on them. I had developed, what they believed, was OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. I was pretty uncomfortable and having a lot of cramping and the only thing they allowed me to take was Tylenol (which did nothing to help.) I was supposed to go in on the 16th, but they wanted me to come in sooner so that if I wasn't pregnant, I could take something to get relief.

Afterwards, I headed into work and my cell phone rang at 10:30 am. Normally, I called in to a messaging system to get my test results a few hours later. When I picked up the phone and it was Dr. Tjaden, I figured he was calling about the OHSS. But, then. . .he matter-of-factly said that my pregnancy level was 297. "My. . .what? I'm pregnant?" I asked. "You are VERY pregnant!" he said. You see, pregnancy tests detect a hormone called HCG (human chorionic gonadotropin.) It takes about 2 weeks for this hormone to be at a detectable level, which for home pregnancy tests, is about 25-50. With mine being so high, my doctor informed me of the chance that not only was I pregnant, but pregnant with multiples. My head was spinning. I immediately called Ryan to tell him the news and then I somehow had to get through the rest of the day at work.

April 13th is also a special day because it is my niece's birthday. Upon arriving home from work, Ryan and I decided to go tell the family. Because it was snowing heavily, we didn't make it to everyone's house that night. Our first stop was Dillons to buy a dozen flowers and we headed over to Joel and Laura's. Laura was in the middle of giving voice lessons, but I gave Julia her flowers with a little card that read," I thought you might like some flowers by the dozen. . .I also thought you'd like to know, you're getting a new cousin." It worked out really well since Joel had her read the card aloud. Laura stopped her voice lesson and everyone was ecstatic. Afterwards, we headed over to my parents'. I gave them a frame with a little poem (of course) that read:

I do not have a face to see
Or put inside a frame.
I do not have soft cheeks to kiss.
I don’t yet have a name.

You can’t yet hold my tiny hands,
Nor whisper in my ear.
It’s still too soon to sing a song
Or cuddle me so near.

But, all will change come December
That’s when they say I’m due.
I’m your new grandchild
And I cannot wait to meet you.

All I ask between now and then
Are your prayers while I grow
And pray for mommy and daddy too
(They tried hard for me, you know.)

I cannot wait until I learn
Of God’s wondrous plan for me
I cannot wait until I become
Part of this family.

Now, I didn't write this poem. . .I found it online and merely altered it to fit our situation. It took awhile for my parents to realize what it meant. What an amazing day that was. . .one of the happiest days of my life and one that I'll always remember.

Friday, April 11, 2008 - Update

We have raised an amazing $1641.00 for March of Dimes. Olivia has her marching shoes on (okay, they're more like dancing shoes, but you get the point.) It's still not too late to put on yours!

My mom came over this afternoon so that I could go run some errands. I had to go to the bank, Target and I needed to go birthday shopping for my niece, Julia. I bought Olivia a new stroller at Target. I had seen this particular Little Lamb one online and didn't think $99.99 was too bad for a stroller. Well, it was on sale for $79.99 and I couldn't pass it up. My parents had given me a stroller that they got when all I had was a double stroller and I wanted to give theirs back to them. Olivia also has an adorable Jeep umbrella stroller, but she's not quite big enough for it.



One thing I haven't shared with all of you is my complete lack of any engineering/problem solving skills. Don't ever ask me to put anything together. I see pieces scattered about and a wave of anxiety comes over me. No matter what it is. . .if it comes in pieces or needs directions. . .I can't do it. I must be missing that part of my brain. I was excited to get her stroller out of the box. . .thinking that maybe it just snapped open. When I saw the wheels come rolling out. . .well, Ryan came to my rescue and put it together for me. Since it was chilly outside, I just pushed Olivia around in the house. We are now officially ready to March for Babies!

Thursday, April 10, 2008 - Update

Today, Olivia had a special visit from Pam. How do I begin to describe who Pam is? Well, I went to high school with her children and her family has always been very dear to me. After high school, I went to work for her throughout college and remained there for over 10+ years. Pam is the one that introduced me to Ryan and has always been there for me. She made it possible for me to get off work at a moment's notice to go to all of my fertility appointments, etc. It's been difficult to see someone almost every day for 10 years and then have months go by without any contact. Pam has always called me her Jodi and I'm sure that Olivia will grow to be her Olivia as well. Pam always has and always will have a very special place in my heart.

Don't click on spam comments

Anytime you see a comment that you are unsure of or that has a link attached, just ignore it. Don't click on it. Actually, you should never be asked to click on anything on the comment page. Stacie and I are working to get rid of these.

Thanks

Ok - I think I have fixed this problem at least for the time being. When you type a comment you will now have to complete a word verification to add your comment to the blog. I hope this will catch most of the problems we are having. I'm not sure why there has been spam recently. If for some reason a spammer gets through I will continue to delete these posts as I have been up to this point. Sorry folks!

Hope this helps! :)

- Stacie

Wednesday, April 9, 2008 - Update

Everyone has heard of the age old question: Is your cup half empty or half full? I find that I ask myself a similar question: Are my arms half empty or half full? My answer varies from day to day. I feel like I've experienced the greatest of joys and the most devastating of losses. . .both at the same time. Many days I don't know how to feel.

Yesterday, I was thinking ahead to Olivia's 1st birthday. I think I'm going to buy her a kitchen with dishes and food (But, don't tell her. . it's a surprise.) I always get so excited to think about all of the things that I get to do for her. I love being the mother of a little girl. But, always. . .at the same time. . I mourn for the things that I don't get to do for Logan. My emotions are always all over the place. . .from happiness to sadness to anger to excitement. I'm a mother of twins. Why couldn't I have kept both of my babies? I try to rely on my trust in God and know that He knows what I need better than I do. It's easy to trust in God when what you want is what you're given, but life doesn't always work out that way. I'll never know why I lost Logan or why I had to give birth at 23 weeks. . .but, I pray every day that just knowing that God knows the answer will be enough for me.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008 - Update

Every kid loves to be pushed around in a laundry basket. My Easter lamb had fun with me.
Just another fun thing I get to do with my dad.

Oh, and most important of all. . .Happy Birthday, Grandma Mary!!!

Monday, April 7, 2008 - Update

Howdy Everyone!
I'm ready for Spring!

Okay, can I take my hat off now?

Last night, I came across this site: An Introduction to Extremely Premature Babies. It may help educate some of you as to how early Olivia was. I also found this part of the article interesting:

An individual baby's chance of surviving may be much different from that 50% overall figure, however. These individual differences are mostly due to four issues:

1. the time into that week (a baby barely 23 weeks is less likely to do well than a baby almost 24 weeks) Olivia was only 23 weeks, 1 day.

2. the baby's gender (girls tend to do better than boys) She is a girl.

3. multiple pregnancy (singletons tend to do better than individual babies from multiple pregnancies) She was from a multiple pregnancy.

4. whether there was time before birth to give the steroid (betamethasone, also called Celestone) shots to the mother (which helps the baby's chance of surviving and avoiding severe brain bleeding) As I've mentioned before, I had absolutely no warning. It was a true blessing that I was at the hospital. There is a reason we are given a mother's instinct.

So, Olivia had only one out of four and look how well she is doing? There is no doubt in my mind that God has big plans for Olivia. . .my daughter, my dream, my miracle.

Sunday, April 6, 2008 - Update

Mommy enjoyed watching Stumpy the squirrel eat out of the birdhouse.

Grandpa and Me

First bottle at grandma and grandpa's

So grandma. . .I was wondering if I could have a big playhouse in your backyard. .where I could keep a pet squirrel?

Today was one for the history books. . .Olivia went on her first excursion outside of the house (that wasn't a doctor's office.) We had lunch over at Grandma and Grandpa Glunt's house. Ryan and I are working on gradually becoming more comfortable taking Olivia outside of our home. I ask that everyone please be patient with us as we take these baby steps. I have to say it was nice to get out and feel more like a normal family.

The video below demonstrates "grandpa talk"