Saturday, July 24, 2010 - Update

We spent the day painting our living room. Baby steps is our motto and someday we will have painted every room in the house. Someday. :)

Early Birthday Surprise

Olivia managed to get her birthday present from Grandma and Grandpa Sailing over a month early. Not quite sure how she managed that, but when she woke up today. . .she got a big surprise!

Wow, is this for me?

It's spacious, yet cozy. . .

Making herself at home

Gotta call grandma and grandpa

Thank you for my playhouse!

Logan

Sometimes. . .out of the blue. . I think of Logan. Not that I don't always think of him, but there are times when he is at the forefront of my mind. He was such a cutie. . I often wonder what he'd look like today, what he would be like, how Olivia and him would interact. . . I can think of him now without feeling myself falling into a deep depression. There is often sadness and even tears, but I am thankful for the pictures and the memories. . .even though there aren't many. I had a son and his name was Logan and nothing can ever take that away. Time goes on, but he will never become just a faded memory. He'll always be my precious Logan. . .

Thursday, July 22, 2010 - Update

Olivia LOVES music. She loves listening to music, singing to music, playing the piano, anything that has to do with music. She has always been that way. . .when we sang to her in the NICU, all of her stats would improve. It was always interesting because Logan's oxygen saturation would go down whenever we sang to him. I could just see him now, "Mom! Tell Olivia to stop singing." :) Olivia sings and claps her hands all the time. She can sing amazingly on pitch. My hope is that her love of music will help her through any other areas where she has difficulty and that she finds great joy in it.

Ambien

Wow, so I took Ambien last night and I don't think I'll ever take it again. For one, I woke up feeling awful (headache, upset stomach, tired) and two, I couldn't remember anything that happened. According to my husband, I knocked over the kitty's cup of water, fell twice, asked him to go sleep on the couch, posted comments on facebook. . .none of which I have the slightest memory of. How scary is that? If I ever do take it again, I'm going to have to ask my husband to lock me up before I go to sleep and hide my computer. Scary. Maybe my doctor will prescribe Lunesta. . .the little butterfly seems harmless enough.

Monday, July 19, 2010 - Update

When Olivia was a baby, she went through a brief period where she would cry when I left the room. She has been through with that for at least a year or more. Usually, I can leave her somewhere and she doesn't even care to say good-bye or give me a hug. Recently, she has started crying and clinging to me when I leave her. It's breaking my heart. I know she only cries for a few minutes after I leave, but I'm having such a hard time with it. She wouldn't even let daddy put her to bed tonight without tears and cries of "Mama!" Kids sure know how to tug at your heartstrings. I can't say that I'm not enjoying all of the extra hugs and cuddles, though.

I've been having a tough week and averaging 1-2 hours of sleep per night because of awful insomnia and restless legs. I finally went to the doctor today because I can't continue to run on such little sleep. I was prescribed Ambien. Has anyone had luck with that? For restless legs? I'm down on my knees praying for a good night's sleep. My friend, Amanda, heard about my rough week and sent me a care package. You wouldn't believe everything that I received!!

What an amazing friend she is!! How do you even go about saying thank you for something like this? I really needed a pick-me-up today. Did you know that we met through my blog and have never actually met in person? She is stunningly beautiful with an even more beautiful heart. Thank you, Amanda, for always brightening my day! :)

I have been blessed with wonderful friends and family who have helped me every step of the way. For that I am forever grateful.

Sunday, July 18, 2010 - Update

Playing with dad

Thanks for letting me share the story of my dog, Tyrone. My hope is that Autumn becomes Olivia's Tyrone. It makes me smile when I see Olivia playing tea party with Autumn. Poor kitty has cups and plates and food all around her and looks up at me as if to say, "What is going on here?" But, it's as if she knows it makes Olivia happy. Both are so gentle with each other. Autumn will not get close to any other child. . .she runs and hides anytime someone under the age of 10 comes to the house. She's a little afraid of children, but with Olivia it is totally different. Some days when I have to wake Olivia up early, I send Autumn in and she tickles Olivia's face with her whiskers. It always brings a good morning smile to Olivia's face. I look forward to seeing their bond grow as they get older. You may be wondering why we don't have a dog? To explain that, you have to know the story of Brady. . .maybe I'll share that at a later date.