October 15th

October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. If you had or know of an angel who left this earth too early because of miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss and you'd like to share him or her with us, please email me.

Please include baby's name, date of birth and date of death. In the case of a miscarriage, please include the gestational age of the baby and month/year of loss. I know of too many of these angels. . .way too many. I shouldn't know of any. . .things like this shouldn't happen. I will not post any names without your permission, however, or without a comment or email. If you would like to include a picture, please feel free to do so. Be sure to get this information to me by October 14th at 7 pm CST. Many of you already know that Olivia was originally a triplet. I will be remembering two of my babies on that day. I want to remember your babies with you.

Logan Glunt 8-27-2007 to 9-28-2007
Baby B Glunt miscarried at 8 weeks in May 2007

Saturday, October 11, 2008 - Update

October 11, 2007

I debated about even writing an update today. We were up most of the night and I am exhausted. The culprit? Tooth #3. Then, Olivia only took a 30 minute nap this morning, so all of our plans for the day sort of went out the window. She's so tired, but just can't seem to sleep. I've noticed on these extreme sleep-deprived days, things really seem to irritate me more. For example. . .Why doesn't AT&T have fiber-optic service in our area yet? We would love to have a DVR again and save money as well. Do we really need teeth? Are they really worth the hassle? If we have the technology to make wrinkle-resistant pants. . .why aren't all pants wrinkle-free? Why doesn't caffeine perk me up anymore?

I'm too tired to take any pictures, so I thought I'd share a picture from October 11th of last year. . . .the first day Ryan got to hold his daughter.

Friday, October 10, 2008 - Update

My daddy stayed home from work to spend the day with me.
I feel so special.

Okay, are those not the cutest pictures ever? Ryan is enjoying a three day weekend with us. . .if only we could think of somewhere to go? Our pumpkin patch idea was a bust because you had to make reservations way in advance. We are needing to be more cautious of getting Olivia around groups of people as RSV season is almost upon us. That limits where we can go. We are enjoying just being together and Olivia loves having her daddy home.

A Look Back

Lucky for my parents, I don't think they ever had to worry about making sure I was eating enough. I was a. . .rather large baby.
I think I weighed as much as my brother, who is two years older.

I just had to throw this picture in. Lucky for Izzy, my brother has been studying for quite awhile.

Thursday, October 9, 2008 - Update

Operation Full Tummy was a success and Olivia slept all night. Previously, we've had to limit the amount of food that she eats at night because once she took over a certain amount. . .it would all come back up. She hasn't, however, thrown up in many weeks which I think is a combination of increased solid foods and the fact that she's sitting up more. So, we're going to try to make her as full as possible before bed so she doesn't wake up hungry. Hopefully, it will continue working. She's getting heavier and heavier every day. She is really getting long as well. That is one thing people comment about when they haven't seen her for awhile. . .Olivia is getting tall! And they mention her sweet disposition, of course. She has such a sweet little personality.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008 - Update

I think the reason behind Olivia's nighttime wakings is a major growth spurt. It took her two months to go from 15 lbs to 16 lbs and now she is over 17 lbs! I picked her up this morning and I just knew she had gotten bigger. She still woke up a few times last night, but it wasn't as bad as the night before. I just don't function well without sleep. . .that is one of my main failings. Last night after Ryan got home, I was exhausted and just started crying. Olivia, however, thought that mommy crying was hilarious and started laughing. It didn't take me too long to start laughing as well. So. . .laughing at someone while their crying does brighten their spirits, although I wouldn't go around trying it. I think babies are the only ones that can pull that off. :)

I also heard of an amazing study today on the news. The incidence of SIDS was reduced by 72% by simply placing a fan in a baby's room. The increased air flow is supposed to be beneficial. SIDS is something that I always worried about because 1) we've watched Olivia quit breathing too many times to count and 2)she loves to sleep on her tummy. We do, however, have an Austin Air Baby's Breath air purifier that my parents bought us to prepare for Olivia's homecoming. It seems to move air and cool off her room even better than a fan. It's pricey, but I did a lot of research on them and they seem to be one of the best. Now I'm really glad that we've had that.

I also wanted to ask if anyone knew of any good pumpkin patches in our area. Ryan is taking a vacation day on Friday and one of the things that we wanted to do together is go to a pumpkin patch. So many of them seem geared towards large groups and have tours, snacks and hayrack rides, etc. We just want to go to a big field, pick out pumpkins and take pictures. . .nothing fancy. Any ideas would be great!

I know. . .I don't have any pictures to share today. I promise to take some tomorrow. Who knows. . .she may be 18 lbs by then. Okay, I posted a picture from yesterday.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008 - Update

Jimmy? Is that you?
It is you!
Mama, take our picture!
Jimmy Skunk. . .my old friend.

Olivia was up most of the night so, of course, I was too. My best guess is that she got into daddy's Mountain Dew and drank a whole case. She was wide awake all night long and doesn't appear to be slowing down today.

Monday, October 6, 2008 - Update

Olivia had a visit from her physical therapist early this morning which was, apparently, the last thing she wanted today. She screamed and cried and wouldn't do anything that she was supposed to do. Her PT tried to get Olivia to feed herself a puff and when the PT put it in Olivia's hand she screamed, threw the puff and I swear she yelled, "NO!" At least Olivia knows how to communicate her needs. Lately, she has been pretty adamant about making sure she can see me at all times. It makes certain things pretty difficult at times.

Last night she did drink some water from a sippy cup for the first time. Yay Olivia!Tonight, however, she just screamed when we tried it. Olivia also thinks that she should get macaroni and cheese every time she sits in her high chair and is upset when it's anything else Can you tell that she was not a happy girl today? Hopefully, she'll wake up on the "right" side of the crib tomorrow morning. . .

I also wanted to wish my brother and his amazing wife, Shelley, a Happy Anniversary!! Their anniversary is tomorrow. I hope you have a wonderful day!

A Day To Remember

I'm really glad that we decided to attend "A Day to Remember," which was a memorial service held at Wesley Medical Center. We weren't quite sure what to expect and some days. . .well, some days I just don't feel like crying. It was a beautiful service with music and poetry. As your child's name was read, you were invited to stand. Everyone received a rose and a bookmark. A brick was then placed in the courtyard in remembrance of all the babies honored. We made the decision not to bring Olivia with us. We didn't think it would be appropriate to have a baby in a room full of people who have lost their own.

I felt that we needed to be there to honor Logan and to become reacquainted with the family of Logan's old neighbor. If you'll remember back over one year ago, Logan's neighbor, Johnrey, passed away on September 20th. News of his passing was very difficult for me. I wanted to believe that every baby in the NICU went home to their families and Johnrey's death hit a little too close to home. I passed by this little boy every day and smiled at his parents. After learning of his passing, I stared at his empty isolette and couldn't imagine the emptiness his parents must feel. Little did I know. . .Logan would pass away just 8 short days later. This family continues to need our prayers. They waited for God to bless them with a child for 13 years. They were finally blessed with their baby boy and they were only able to spend 16 short days with him on earth. It angers me. It breaks my heart into a million pieces. People ask how I coped with the loss of my son. Some days it is still very difficult, but my daughter gets me through it. I don't know how I would have survived the loss of my Logan without my Olivia. We hope to keep in touch with this couple and help them in any way we can. I just know that Logan's bed in heaven is still right next to Johnrey's.

I wanted to share a few poems that were read today at the memorial:

The Mention of His Name - Anonymous

The mention of my child's name may bring tears to my eyes, but it never fails to bring music to my ears. If you are really my friend, let me hear the beautiful music of his name. It soothes my broken heart and sings to my soul.

The Shopping Trip by Linda Vicory

(I have changed this poem to read "he" instead of "she" as I remember Logan.)

As I peruse the aisles of the local store,

I see things more differently than I ever have before.

"Daddy's Little Angel," the embroidered bibs do read.

But, Daddy's angel is in Heaven, and bibs he does not need.

He does not need a bottle, an outfit or a toy.

Of buying those things for him, we shall never know the joy.

There are tiny jars of baby food, that he will never eat.

And shiny shoes with buckles that will never touch his feet.

As the bikes and trikes taunt me, from high up on the rack,

Tears will break free from my eyes if I dare look back.

I run off to the restroom, to blow my nose and cry.

I wipe my eyes, swallow hard, and let out a sigh.

I must go face the paper, college and wide rule,

That my little angel will never use in school.

I hurry past the greeting cards that the people choose with care.

And I am reminded of the holidays we shall not share.

In the checkout line I bow my head, and heavy is my heart,

For the family right in front of me has a newborn in their cart.

Shopping in the local store used to be mundane.

Now every aisle's full of items, which remind me of my pain.

So, quick as I can, I give the cashier the money from my purse.

And hurry away from those who don't know my pain

in this foreignly happy universe.