Saturday, March 8, 2008 - Update

This is what happens when you play really hard!

I think we're going for a ride in the pickup!

Just when we feel like we're finally getting caught up on housework, on our sleep, and have a little bit of down time. . .I find out we lose an hour tonight. Doesn't it seem a little early for daylight savings time? I hate to say too much quite yet, but we believe the Prevacid is working wonders for Olivia. She hasn't thrown up for the past 3 days, she is sucking down great quantities of formula and is sleeping until 5 am in the morning. I wish we could have gotten her on it sooner. So far, it's been a blessing!

March of Dimes Update

We have raised an amazing $1055 for March of Dimes! That is absolutely wonderful. Now, I was planning on taking Olivia with us to the walk. After speaking with her doctor, I don't know if that will be a good idea. . .so, I am still pondering. I thought that maybe we could take her if everyone on our team is healthy and agrees to keep somewhat of a distance as well as protect her from other people. If we feel uncomfortable, Ryan and Olivia could go home and I could stay and walk. I haven't decided. . the weather will play a part as well.

Anyway, our team consists of:

Carol, Shawna, Laura, Joel, Julia, Rebekah, Lorna, Marilee, Grandma and Grandpa Sailing, Shelley, Donnie, Izzy, Gina, Savannah, Kelley, Heather, Cody, Kyler, Ella, Kerry, Ryan, me and hopefully Olivia. . . wow! Remember that it's not too late to sign up. You can raise as much or as little money as you want. I may not have included spouses or children that will be coming as well. I wasn't sure on some of them. Who knows. . .maybe Olivia could be an ambassador someday.

Friday, March 7, 2008 - Update

I'm happy because mama always calls me her angel!

Horton and I (thanks Kerry!)

Yesterday, after Ryan got off work, we went to have Olivia's bloodwork done. How many babies do you know who don't even hardly cry when having their blood drawn? She cried a bit when the needle went in, but then she just laid there and then even smiled. She was just an angel. I did send Ryan in beforehand to make sure everything would be okay. A particular lady who worked there (but wasn't tending to Olivia) said, "Oh a baby! Can I see her?" I kinda smiled not wanting to hurt her feelings and Ryan just said, "No!" That's why I take him with me.

Olivia also slept last night until 5 am which is a first for all of us. We started her on the Prevacid so I'm anxious to find out if it helps her. She didn't throw up yesterday or today and that is after two vomits and a spit up the day before. Every morning when I go in to get her, she is always rotated clockwise 90 degrees. It never fails. . .it's always the same. This morning she was rotated counter clockwise 90 degrees. It kinda took me off guard to find her feet where her head usually is. I found that pretty amusing for some reason.

My Little Sunshine

If this doesn't brighten your day, nothing will.

Thursday, March 6, 2008 - Update

Some days I just feel like crying and crying and crying. Some days I miss Logan so much. Some days I love Olivia so much it hurts. After months in the NICU and after losing a son, you would think that you would be in this protective bubble. You've had enough stress for one lifetime. Truth is, you're still subjected to the daily stresses like everyone else. Life still continues on.

I feel like I'm constantly explaining myself to everyone. I can't imagine what it would be like without this blog and having to explain myself that much more. It started when I was released from my RE (reproductive endocrinologist) to my OB. I had lost one of the babies and was already worried about my much prayed for pregnancy. My RE wanted me to schedule an appt with my OB around week 10-12. I still remember the receptionist telling me that she'll get me in "sometime". I felt like saying, "You don't understand the circumstances. . ." Then, when my OB appts were a month apart, I again felt like saying, "You don't understand the circumstances. I need the best care possible!" When I was losing Logan, I wanted to scream and make people understand how much I had prayed for him. After he died, I wanted everyone to know how much I needed Olivia to be okay. Now, when I take Olivia in for appts (such as her EEG) and people scoff at our attempts to protect her. . . I feel like they just don't understand what I've been through. We have to take Olivia in to a separate lab to get her bloodwork done this week. I'm having Ryan go in beforehand to check out the place before we attempt to take her inside. I'm not risking her health again. I'm just so thankful that months ago, Stacie had the idea for this blog. It was the last thing on my mind, but it was exactly what I needed. Thank you to everyone who reads this blog and supports us and for falling in love with Olivia. She is so very special. . .I don't have to explain that to any of you. I have the most adorable video that I will try to post later in the day. Thank you, thank you for helping me through the darkest days of my life.

A Must Watch Video

March of Dimes National Ambassador 2008: Catharine Aboulhouda

This video just brought back so many memories for me. I, too, thought that when my water broke (at 23 weeks) that I was losing both of my children. I wish every day that I still had both of my babies, but I am so grateful to have Olivia. She'll never truly know how much she means to her daddy and me. Enjoy this video, but be sure to grab a tissue.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008 - Update

Whose shorts are these? Oh yeah. . .they're mine

Looking back, I have many regrets regarding my pregnancy. . .many of which I couldn't do much about. One of those regrets is that I have only a handful of pictures of me pregnant. The first trimester, I didn't feel too good and having my picture taken was the last thing on my mind. I have a few pictures of me at the beginning of my second trimester and I never made it to the third. I thought I had 4 more months to get my picture taken. Just a reminder to never put things off until tomorrow. If anyone managed to catch a picture of me pregnant at a birthday party or something. . .I'd love to have it.

The week before I had Logan and Olivia, I had begun outgrowing my maternity clothes. My mom came over with these huge shorts for me to wear. I was a little offended. . .I couldn't fit into those. Then, I put them on and they fit perfectly. In 23 weeks, I managed to gain almost 40 lbs, but that happens when you are pregnant with twins. I wish I would have gotten even bigger and carried them a lot longer. . .just one of my many regrets, I guess.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008 - Update

Hmmm. . .I think we're more boring than we thought.

I was up most of the night with Olivia, but isn't that just what moms do? I can recall many nights where my mom was up all night with me. I actually remember thinking, "It's a good thing that my mom doesn't need sleep." Olivia has been running a slight fever today and I'm pretty sure it's because of her shots yesterday. Tylenol has seemed to help. Olivia has just wanted to be snuggled all day and you know. . . .nothing is more important than spending that precious time with her. She has also not thrown up for two days and we haven't started the Prevacid yet. I find that interesting since we just stopped the Phenobarb. . . .maybe that was the problem all along. Only time will tell. ****As of 10 pm. . .never mind.****

Monday, March 3, 2008 - Update

It's nice to be home and not getting shots at the doctor's office.

This is what I think of shots!

Yee-Haw. . .I like my new Bumbo seat.

There is so much to talk about today. Olivia had her 6 month checkup. She weighs 9 lbs 13 oz and is 21.5 inches long. Head circumference is 36.75 cm(I know you probably don't care about that, but writing it on the blog helps us keep track of it.) We were a little disappointed with her weight gain, but her doctor is very pleased with it. I'm sure she'd weigh a little more if it wasn't for the daily vomiting. As far as that goes, her doctor looks at three things concerning her vomiting, (1) Is she gaining weight? (2) Is she aspirating any of it into her lungs? (3) Is it causing her pain? Well, I do believe that she is in some pain over it. He has stopped her Reglan and is going to try her on Prevacid. Olivia also passed her second hearing test today. Overall, he is extremely pleased with Olivia and she was sure to give him a big grin while she was there. She was pretty happy for the first half of the visit. . .the last half was not quite as fun. Most children get 3 shots for their 6 month checkup. . .Olivia had 4 shots (Synagis) and 2 blood draws. They still couldn't get a good vein, so we have to take her into a lab later this week to get her blood drawn again. After they tried to get it out of her hand, they put a bandaid on and stepped out of the room. Her hand started bleeding quite a bit, so Ryan and I had to grab some gauze and put pressure on it. She's such a trooper, though. She knows that when mom or dad pick her up that everything is going to be okay. She did give the nurse some pretty good kicks. . .she is one tough cookie.

We also spoke with her doctor about how much to continue protecting her. It was nice to hear from him that we are not being over-protective or "neurotic." He is still seeing many cases of RSV and advised us not to take her into crowds until June. In April, we will probably take her outside more and introduce her to people a few at a time (if they are healthy.) Honestly, she will probably not be treated like a full term child for the first 2 years of her life. As much as I want to show her off, we must remember that she is not like a full term baby. She is doing extremely well for 23 weeks. . .but she was still born 17 weeks early. Our life just has to be different because of that. Ryan and I decided that we would let Olivia's doctor make the call concerning her exposure to other people and places and we respect his judgement. I am glad that I have this blog, however, to allow other people to get to know my amazing daughter.

Sunday, March 2, 2008 - Update

Today, Olivia met her Great-Grandpa and Great-Grandma Jackson for the first time.

Four Generations

Great-Grandma Jackson and Olivia