Logan William Glunt

We love you, Logan, and we'll never forget you.

Logan William Glunt

August 27, 2007 - September 28, 2007

I am my mom and dad's bright ray of sunshine!

I didn't know how difficult today would be. I thought it would be just like any day for the past year that we have been without our son. I never realized how much we try to push the thoughts of Logan to the back of our minds. Today, Logan was at the forefront and that was hard. I recounted my last day with Logan six months ago, here (scroll down to March 27th.) Given the amount of tears that I shed the first time I wrote it. . .I shouldn't attempt it again. His absence not only greatly affects our life, but Olivia's as well. . .she just doesn't know that yet. I cry because someday she will learn and understand that she had a twin brother and she will cry. Hopefully, she will always know how much she means to us. She somehow manages to get us through each and every day with a smile on our faces. Thank you for all of your thoughts, prayers, cards and gifts. We treasure every one of them.

Friday, September 26, 2008 - Update

I'm ready for the zoo!

Waving at the bears.

The girls

Between a rock and a hard place.

Look! It's daddy!

Today, we spent the morning at the zoo with Grandma, Shelley and Izzy. It was a beautiful day. It was so fun to watch Izzy interacting with the animals. Olivia isn't quite aware of them yet, but she was very content to stroll around in her stroller. Thanks, Shelley, for the cereal bar. . .and the sunscreen. . .boy, I just don't come too prepared. We had a great time.

It is also a very special day today. . .my parents are celebrating their 38th anniversary. Hmmm. . .Ryan and I only have 33 more years to go to match that. Happy Anniversary!

Thursday, September 25, 2008 - Update

Are you sure this present is for me?
Kerry got me my very own stepstool!

It also works as a little table.

I love when Kerry comes to visit!

We were so glad to have Kerry come visit us today. I hope we didn't bore her to death. I tried on of those 5 hour energy drinks. . .I don't think they work too well. I only drank half because 1)they are expensive and 2) it said to drink half for moderate energy and that seemed sufficient for me. When the afternoon rolled around, I was dragging and probably bored poor Kerry to death. Olivia was less than energetic today as well. I promise next time we'll have a little more pep.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008 - Update

Mmmm. . .
I love my biter bisuits!

We have been working really hard on self-feeding. I'm so proud of her progress. She still struggles with small items like Cheerios and Puffs, but she's getting the hang of larger items. Sometimes when she gets food into her mouth, she doesn't quite understand how to "release" it. I never thought about what a milestone it is for babies to feed themselves. We are still struggling quite a bit with the sippy cup. I wish that was going better since she doesn't want her bottle all that much anymore. Her bottle amounts have drastically decreased lately and I can tell since she's barely gained a pound in two months. Olivia continues to weigh right around 16 lbs. She would much rather eat baby food, which doesn't have as many calories as formula. I wouldn't mind so much if she would drink something from her sippy cup. I am thrilled that she enjoys food so much. Lately, she has loved her macaroni and cheese. She also likes when I cut her up a few pieces of pasta. We even made up a song about it.

(To the tune of the Oscar Mayer song.)

My macaroni has a first name

It's M-A-C-A-R

My macaroni has a second name

It's O-N-I and cheese.

Oh, how I love macaroni

Mama, can I have more please?

Yeah, so I don't get out much. . .

Tuesday, September 23, 2008 - Update

Oh, how I wish I could snuggle Olivia

Olivia loves her cousin, Rebekah.

I wanted to thank Laura and Rebekah for watching Olivia yesterday. When they showed up at the door, Rebekah proclaimed that she was, "reporting for duty." What a great cousin and a wonderful babysitter. It's amazing how much the kids understand about the importance of keeping Olivia healthy, washing their hands and not getting too close. Olivia really enjoyed her time with them yesterday. I appreciated the help as I deal with our aging pet population. I tell ya, it's starting to feel like an animal nursing home around here.

Morgan

Morgan loved her hay.

Morgan's Christmas picture (yes, I used to take pictures of them on each holiday.)

I can't believe that I'm now down to 4 guinea pigs and 1 rat. I took my guinea pig, Morgan, into the vet today. She is the one that had some sort of stroke. After visiting with the vet, I learned that she had gone completely blind in both eyes and her right side was paralyzed. This could have been caused by a stroke or some type of brain infection. . .both of which have no cure. So, I had to decide whether to watch her continue to struggle moving, eating and drinking or to have her put to sleep. Sadly, she was put to sleep today.

I'm ashamed to say that out of all my pets, I was the least close to Morgan. When guinea pigs are young, they are very skittish. After awhile, they begin to trust you, appreciate and welcome your company. Morgan always remained skittish and anxious. . .it lessened a bit over the years, but almost 6 years later, she was still like that. But, that was okay. Morgan taught me that guinea pigs, much like people, are not all the same and need to be respected for their differences. You can't always fit a square peg in a round hole. Morgan was not a "cuddle" or "lap" pig, but she was very sweet. I never tried to force her to be something that she wasn't. She wanted you to give her treats and hay and leave her alone with her guinea pig friends. She wasn't happy unless she was completely buried in hay.

Because she was never fond of being held, I didn't hold her while they sedated her. I said my good-byes and I told her to say hello to Exodia, Odin, Kirsten, Bailey, Lucy and all of my pets who have gone before her. We will miss her very much.

Monday, September 22, 2008 - Update

I can't believe that this week marks the last week that I was able to spend with Logan. . .just one year ago. There has been a part of me over the last 12 months that has wanted to crawl into a hole and not come out. There has been another part of me, a bigger part, I guess, that could never shake my commitment to my husband. . .for better or worse. I think this was the "worse" part that they were talking about. I interpret that commitment to be not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. He has needed me as much as I have needed him. And then. . .there was Olivia. If God would allow her to stay here with me, I would be the best mother that I could possibly be. That was not a mother in a dark hole somewhere. So, I fought and fought and fought and no matter how much I missed Logan and mourned for him, I had to take care of his sister. Olivia deserves that and so much more. Here we are almost a year later. I still fight the urge to give up and surrender to that overwhelming sense of loss, but I realize that the sadness will never win. I see too much joy in my daughter's eyes, in her smile, in her laugh, in her love for life. She continues to pull Ryan and I through and remains to be the strongest person I've ever met. Thank you, Olivia, for being the most amazing person in the world.

Sunday, September 21, 2008 - Update

If only I could ride a. . .
Pony!!

I tried to let Ryan have a few hours of alone time today by going over to my parents with Olivia. It didn't quite work out as planned. First, Ryan was upset to hear that we were leaving. (And, his alone time was spent mowing the lawn.) Then, Olivia's powdered formula got wet so I didn't have a bottle for her which forced us to come home early. So much for my plan. . .I was even going to sneak in a nap while I was there. Olivia hadn't been able to see her grandparents for awhile, so it was nice while it lasted. She has even started doing this "shy act" around anybody that is not daddy or me. We also believe that dada is the word she uses for either one of us because this morning, she looked right at me, smiled and said, "dada!"