Sunday, October 5, 2008 - Update

Did you notice my new shoes?
I'll keep them on for the picture. . .
but, then I can't wait to get them off. I don't like having shoes on. . . even when my mom goes on and on about how cute they are.

Earlier this week, I picked up Olivia's first pair of Skechers. I figured that she can't go barefoot forever, even though she hates being in shoes or socks. With the cooler weather almost upon us, she's going to have to wear shoes. I have trouble finding shoes for her because her feet are really short and wide. I was thrilled to find some that actually fit! Now, if I can just keep them on her.

Olivia wants to crawl so very badly. She pushes up really well with her arms and has her leg technique perfected. She'll either be up on her knees or up on her arms, but never both at the same time. I'll be honest. . .sometimes it is difficult for Ryan and I to know that she is well over 6 months behind developmentally. It makes me feel like a bad mom. . .like I'm not doing something that I'm supposed to be doing. I want to give her every opportunity that I possibly can and every day I end up asking myself, "Did I do enough? Am I providing her with enough opportunities to learn? Am I missing some important thing that all parents are supposed to do?" I guess I'm just down on myself tonight (I know I should never write these posts late at night.) I can't go to sleep because my sinuses feel like they are going to explode. Tomorrow we are going to a memorial at Wesley Medical Center for Logan and other babies who left this earth too soon. Part of me wants to go, but it's extremely tough to think about Logan sometimes. I spend a lot of my energy focusing on what is and it's hard to think about what could have been. . .or rather what should have been. I try with all my might to make Logan proud. I just hope I do. Okay, off to bed I go. . .

A Day At The Park

Olivia loved hanging out at the park.
"Okay, I'm going to go down the slide and I want you to catch me."
Izzy tried a diet cola. At first, I didn't think she liked it.
"Well, wait. . .I think I might have enjoyed that. . "
"Oh yeah. . .this is yummy!"

Olivia and I met Aunt Shelley and Izzy at the park today. It was a very shaded area and there were no other people near us. Olivia absolutely loved sitting on the blanket and watching everything around her. Izzy was so adorable and funny. . .she even had Olivia cracking up. It was too much fun. . .I think we're going to have to go every week.

Friday, October 3, 2008 - Update

Llama llama red pajama. . .
reads a story with his mama!

Can we read it again?

I've always known that every child seems to have that special bedtime book. What I've learned is that. . .we don't pick the book. . .they do. We've read to Olivia since she was in the womb. She went through a stage, however, where she didn't want to sit still long enough to be read to. She would get really restless on my lap and didn't want to listen to a story. That is. . .until I read Llama llama red pajama. She loves to read this book. It has become part of our bedtime routine that makes our evenings so much more pleasant. After reading the story, I turn off the light, she takes her bottle and then goes to sleep. Other than a few nights here and there. . .she sleeps all night without much of a peep.

Earlier this week, I was feeding her at about 11 am and she didn't want to take her bottle. I was standing her up and trying to pass the time until she realized that she was, indeed, hungry. She peered over and saw her book on the floor and got very excited. So, I picked it up and we read it. As soon as I was finished, she laid back and opened her mouth for her bottle, drained it dry and then went to sleep. Apparently, the book has the same magic during the day.

Thursday, October 2, 2008 - Update

Hi everyone!

My new challenge is to eat more vegetables. I'm home all day. . .there's no reason why I can't do that. I don't have excuses anymore, such as: "I don't have time to come home on my lunch break." Plus, after feeding Olivia spring veggies and butternut squash and green beans. . .they started to look a little appetizing. My problem is that I don't know of many clever ways to incorporate vegetables into my diet. My friend, Kelley, bakes zucchini in the oven with olive oil. I'm going to have to try that. I saw a commercial today for Campbells V8 Soups and Olivia and I made a trip to the store to buy some. I highly highly recommend the Southwestern Corn (especially if you like tortilla-ish soup.) Any other ideas/recipes on how to add more veggies to my diet?

Squidoo

I was checking my blogs today, and came across an amazing link on Confessions of a CF Husband. Squidoo is an online group who raises money for charities. They are doing an $80,000 Squidoo Charity Giveaway to the charities of your choice. There is a list of many charities to choose from and for each vote, they will give that charity $2! Of course, I am extremely passionate about March of Dimes and I know some of you are too. However, there may be another charity that means a lot to you. The deadline is October 15th. I invite you all to visit Squidoo and vote for your choice!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008 - Update

Daddy and daughter sharing about their days.

Olivia and I have a million appointments over the next month. . .and it started with my dentist appointment earlier this week. I honestly don't mind the dentist that much. I am only bothered by the fact that I'm going to have to go back to work to pay for some of the things that need to be done. Yikes! I'm having a hard time this month remembering whose appointment is when and who is watching Olivia on what day. I'd kind of like to get my hair cut, but do I really want to add to the ever-growing list of appointments?

I am still blown away by the kindness and thoughtfulness of so many of you. It's not that I'm not thoughtful. . .I'm just not that creative. I wish I could repay all of you somehow or send you such thoughtful gifts. The problem is that. . well. . I'm just not that creative. Many thoughtful gifts are personalized or handmade. If only I had some inkling of talent in some area. A few years ago, I got a sewing machine and decided to try my hand at that. I made a few blankets that turned out okay, but then I never finished that pair of pajama pants. Now, it's been so long since I used the sewing machine. . .I kind of forgot how to thread it. I've tried arts and crafts with not much luck. I am not horrible at baking. . .if you don't mind that it comes from a box. So, I just don't have much to offer. All I have is this blog and I'll keep writing as long as all of you keep reading.

September Rain

Me and my "two brothers."

Clockwise: Me, Jeff, Marc, Regina, Kerry (yes, blog Kerry) Rachel, Tiffany, Jena, Chelsea, Tamar, Donnie

Jeff will always be remembered.

As much as I love the beginning of fall, September is not a good month for me. Everything bad seems to happen in September. My friends and I were robbed at gunpoint in September. Fifteen years ago today, I lost a friend in a car accident. Actually, Jeff Dillon was more than a friend. He was a neighbor, my brother's best friend, and almost like a second brother to me. Consequently, both of those things happened in Sept 1993. . .not a good time in my life. I learned a lot at that time. Life isn't fair. . .bad things do happen to good people. . .basically, anything can happen in life. I'm not surprised that something as awful as Sept 11th happened in September. Just when I thought the month couldn't get any worse. . .I lost Logan last year in September. I feel awful because a lot of our families' birthdays and my parents' anniversary is in September, but I'll forever breathe a sigh of relief when October 1st rolls around.

Monday, September 29, 2008 - Update

Do we have any comments?
Don't you think I'm a little too old for my bouncy seat?

Seriously, mom, I think I am.

Ryan and I were able to spend some time together yesterday. . .just the two of us. My parents came over to watch Olivia and we went out to lunch and to the cemetery together. I think the anticipation of the day was about as bad as the day itself. I hate to think of what I was doing a year ago today. I don't think we got home from the hospital until 2 or 3 am and then I sat downstairs crying until morning. I was rocking and listening to old cds. . .that is when I heard "Fly" from Celine Dion. I had heard it a thousand times as a teenager, but it wasn't until that moment that I truly understood the words. Then, we had to meet at the mortuary and we were so thankful that our parents went with us. It was completely and utterly awful. That weekend we put together the slideshow (posted yesterday) and it was shown at Logan's funeral. It was very difficult to put together, but it was somewhat healing to look back at all of his pictures.

Even then, Olivia brought a smile to our faces. I remember going up to the hospital. . in the middle of planning Logan's funeral. . .and Olivia would make us laugh. We felt such a sense of peace when we were with her. We never wanted to leave. . .we wanted her home with us always. I'm so thankful to wake up every morning and see her smiling face. She still brings us that overwhelming sense of peace.