Sunday, October 5, 2008 - Update

Did you notice my new shoes?
I'll keep them on for the picture. . .
but, then I can't wait to get them off. I don't like having shoes on. . . even when my mom goes on and on about how cute they are.

Earlier this week, I picked up Olivia's first pair of Skechers. I figured that she can't go barefoot forever, even though she hates being in shoes or socks. With the cooler weather almost upon us, she's going to have to wear shoes. I have trouble finding shoes for her because her feet are really short and wide. I was thrilled to find some that actually fit! Now, if I can just keep them on her.

Olivia wants to crawl so very badly. She pushes up really well with her arms and has her leg technique perfected. She'll either be up on her knees or up on her arms, but never both at the same time. I'll be honest. . .sometimes it is difficult for Ryan and I to know that she is well over 6 months behind developmentally. It makes me feel like a bad mom. . .like I'm not doing something that I'm supposed to be doing. I want to give her every opportunity that I possibly can and every day I end up asking myself, "Did I do enough? Am I providing her with enough opportunities to learn? Am I missing some important thing that all parents are supposed to do?" I guess I'm just down on myself tonight (I know I should never write these posts late at night.) I can't go to sleep because my sinuses feel like they are going to explode. Tomorrow we are going to a memorial at Wesley Medical Center for Logan and other babies who left this earth too soon. Part of me wants to go, but it's extremely tough to think about Logan sometimes. I spend a lot of my energy focusing on what is and it's hard to think about what could have been. . .or rather what should have been. I try with all my might to make Logan proud. I just hope I do. Okay, off to bed I go. . .