Saturday, September 1, 2012

September is Child Cancer Awareness Month

Sadly, in the past year, I’ve known more children with cancer than I could have ever imagined.  These children have touched my heart more than I could ever express. This post is dedicated to Tripp, a former 23 weeker who is fighting neuroblastoma.  It’s also dedicated to Paxten, a close family friend who passed away last January with leukemia just shy of her 2nd birthday.  And, also to Benjamin, my close friend’s son, who lost his eye to retinoblastoma less than a year ago. 

I struggle with why childhood cancer even exists.  It breaks my heart to see anyone fighting cancer and when it’s a child. . .I just don’t understand.  After spending so much time in the NICU and losing a son because of prematurity. . .I’m often asked what people can do to help those suffering through similar circumstances.  The number one thing, I believe, is just to show that you care. . .share in their suffering.  Help to carry their burden, cry with them, mourn with them, and overwhelm them with your love.  There are no magical words that take the pain away.  I can imagine it might be the same comfort for a parent whose child has cancer.  They need to know that they are not alone.  Educate yourself on what they are going through and pray for all children and families affected by cancer.

photo (57)

Thursday, August 30, 2012

23 Weeks, 4 days

Well, I’m chugging right along at 23 weeks, 4 days.  I don’t get another cervical length check until next Thursday.  I think I’m doing fine, but will feel more confident once I know that measurement.  I’ve had quite a bit of cramping lately, which is fine as long as it doesn’t change your cervix.  I’ll be sure to update the blog if anything changes, but for now I’m just grateful to still be pregnant! Still praying for a December baby!

Here are Olivia and Logan on August 30, 2007 when I should have been 23 weeks, 4 days pregnant.

Olivia By Dad 3

Logan By Dad 6

I look at these pictures and all I can say is “I’m sorry.”  I’ve learned after 5 years that it wasn’t my fault.  I did nothing different than any other pregnant woman.  However, I’ve learned that normal wasn’t good enough.  I needed progesterone shots, I needed a cerclage and a lot more rest.  I don’t even know if that’ll be enough to carry baby sister to term.  I pray it is.  But, I’m still sorry.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Uncharted Territory

I can’t tell you the sense of accomplishment I will feel when I wake up tomorrow and I’m 23 weeks, 2 days pregnant.  And, to 99.9999% of the pregnancy population that is no accomplishment at all.  But, it marks the most pregnant I have ever been.  To go to sleep tonight with baby sister tucked safely inside of me instead of fighting for her life in the NICU. . .words just can’t describe.  I literally have no idea what to expect after this point in time.  I still have such a long road ahead, but to be 23 week, 2 days pregnant and not even on bedrest. . .I just feel so grateful and so blessed.  Thank you for traveling down this road alongside me. 

Olivia had a great birthday today!  She is so excited to be five years old.

photo (57)

One of her favorite gifts was her new keyboard.  She will literally play it for hours on end.  And today she played part of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star by ear!! That girl is going to be a musical genius!  Seriously. . .mark my words!

photo (61)

One of MY favorite gifts was her stuffed animal cage.  She has built up quite the collection of stuffed animals.  I had a huge box of them in storage because we literally had no room for them.  So, this morning she rediscovered all of these stuffed animals that she didn’t remember.  To her it was like they were brand new!  She now has a few new friends and I don’t have stuffed animals all over my house.  Can’t beat that!

photo (60)

23 Weeks, 1 day

On Monday, August 27, 2007 at 23 weeks, 1 day pregnant, I gave birth to Olivia and Logan.  On Monday, August 27, 2012 I am 23 weeks, 1 day pregnant again.  Eerily similar and yet a testament to God’s perfect timing.  I’m determined that baby sister’s birthday will be in December.  Thank you, God, for giving me this miracle and for reminding me that you make all things perfect in YOUR time.


Happy Birthday to my exuberant, passionate, energetic five year old girl. 

photo (57)

Happy Birthday to my sweet baby boy in heaven who will forever remain in my heart. 

Sunday, August 26, 2012

23 Weeks


Current size of baby: Approximately one pound

How far along? 23 weeks

Total weight gain: 14 lbs

Inches Gained: 5 inches

Maternity clothes? Yes.

Sleep: Pretty good

How I'm feeling Pretty good. No big complaints this week. I just have to make sure I rest and drink a lot of water.

Best moment this week: Olivia’s 5th birthday party. I can’t believe my little girl is 5!!

Food aversions: None

Gender: Girl!

Labor Signs: NO. Thank goodness

Belly Button in or out? Out

What I miss: Squeezing in small places. . .LOL!

What I am looking forward to: Getting past 23 weeks, 1 day and hoping the next few weeks fly by and I’m past the danger zone!

Milestones: On Tuesday, when I’m 23 weeks, 2 days. . .it will be the biggest milestone yet!!