It's only the most fun EVER!
Saturday, May 24, 2008
It's only the most fun EVER!
Friday, May 23, 2008
You know, Memorial Day weekend always meant fun times, cook-outs, three day weekends. . .it takes on a whole new meaning this year as I remember my son. I'm going to try to go out and visit him every day. Hopefully, Ryan and I will make it out there together on Saturday. Memorial Day will forever mean something else entirely to me.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
I have no idea how Olivia knew that David Cook would win from the beginning. Kinda weird. Future talent scout, maybe?
Anyway, my soap opera is doing a premature birth story line. Part of me is thankful for that as a way to spread awareness. I can't help but find all of the things that they are doing wrong, however. They haven't disclosed how premature the little boy was, and that makes a huge difference. The doctor said, "I've delivered babies as early as 24 weeks. . " so he's no 23-weeker like Olivia. Despite the inconsistencies with the storyline, I still cried when Kayla was giving birth. It was very difficult to be told to push when you know that you are thrusting your baby into a world that they are not ready for. Thoughts of that will always bring tears to my eyes as will the fact that I'll never be 100% sure of what caused my premature labor. They are pretty sure that it was due to an incompetent cervix, but I've talked to other people who were told that as well. It's after having a cerclage put in and delivering prematurely again. . .that they realize it was in fact caused by something else entirely. On top of that, other people who have had vertical c-sections have been advised not to have any more children. I have a wonderful family, however, and Olivia is everything I could ask for in a daughter. The three of us have this amazingly strong bond. We've been through so much. . .the three of us. We couldn't have gotten through everything without each other.
Oh, and ladies. . .I had a great time at Kobe's last night. It was nice to get out for a girl's night. Thank you.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but Ryan's aunt Peggy has also been having a tough fight with cancer. Please pray for Peggy and her family as well.
I get a lot of prayer requests and I know that I don't have the chance to post all of them. Sometimes I feel that I don't have all of the information. Please know that I have appreciated all of your continued prayers for me and my family and I would be more than willing to say a prayer for yours.
I got to see my cousin, Izzy. . .
Monday, May 19, 2008
Sometimes I wonder if there is still any resemblance to the person that I used to be. . .before I gave birth at 23 weeks. . .before I watched my babies fighting for their lives. . .before I lost my son. . .before I waited 105 days to take my daughter home. . .before I lived in constant fear of the repercussions of such an early birth. Truth is, I'm not the same person. I don't know if I'm better or worse. I'm a bit more bitter, solemn, angry and sad some days. Some days I'm so grateful for witnessing one of God's great miracles. Yet, I question why I couldn't have witnessed two miracles. Some days I just don't know how I feel.