Well, my laptop is on the fritz again so I'm using Ryan's computer. I gotta say, I'm loving his new monitor that he got for Christmas. Today hasn't been a particularly good day. I'm about at my wit's end. Olivia's feeding troubles just keep worsening, so I had to bring in the big guns and have Ryan call the doctor's office today. They thought that we should bring her in and Ryan agreed to go with me. I don't know why things seem to be taken more seriously when they come from him. We still didn't really get anywhere, though.
Anyway, we can barely get 1-2 oz in her at every bottle. She cries and screams and scratches and claws at me when I try to feed her. You should see my neck. . .it looks like I got in the middle of a cat fight. It's like this at EVERY bottle. It hurts her. She is so hungry and she takes a few swallows and then refuses to take any more and then cries and cries! I don't know if it's reflux. . .I'm not pretending to know the answers. I just don't think it's normal to cry like that every time she eats! They continue to say that her 15 mg of Prevacid daily is the appropriate dosage (even though I hear otherwise online.) She does have a GI appt next month, but I just can't imagine this going on for a few more weeks. It's gotten bad since Halloween and the last few days have been a nightmare. They are, however, switching her to Prilosec, so we'll see if that works. I'm just so frustrated and no one can give me any answers. I brought a bottle with me to the doctor's appt. and I was tempted to hand her over and say, "You feed her. . .good luck!" I, myself, am still not feeling better and I've been on hydrocortisone for 2 months, plus I take about 10 supplements (some 3 times a day) and now I'm on progesterone as well. I think my hair is a bit healthier. . .and that's cool and all, but not really what I was going for. I could go on and on about that, but I won't. My main concern is helping my daughter not be in such pain. It literally breaks my heart and I just don't know what to do.
I did want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my adorable nephew, Kaleb. I meant to write this earlier in the day, but without my laptop it's difficult. I will wait to post pictures when Ryan gets back from the birthday party (so sorry that Olivia and I couldn't make it.) Happy Birthday, sweetheart! We love you!! Ryan, Jodi and Olivia
Olivia's been acting a little "off" the last few days. Her interest in eating has hit an all-time low. I think it's probably her teeth as she has two that have been trying to come in for over a month. I think one finally poked through. Last night, she got herself so worked up that she vomited all over her crib (which she hasn't done in months.) She's also a bit cranky, which isn't like her at all.
Since the weather was pretty nice today, we were able to go for a ride in her car outside. It's such a smooth ride on carpet, but it was pretty bumpy on the street. Hmm. . maybe it will be an inside car. We also ran into our neighbor and it was good to chat with him for awhile. I enjoyed getting out of the house today. It's pretty sad when I look forward to going to the bank and to Sonic to get an iced tea. I think Olivia enjoys it too.
We made it to 100,000 visits today! The 100,000th visitor was from Kalkaska, Michigan. Since nobody guessed December 28th, we went to the closest guess (without going over) which was December 26th guessed by Erin. Congratulations! Send me an email with your address and I will get your Starbucks gift card to you ASAP.
Yep, I'm in my ball pit. It's also my pack-n-play.
I'm having a ball!
Thank you to my parents' for helping us out with a million things today. I'm sure you didn't intend to do that much work today. Olivia enjoyed being pushed around in her car, however. We finally got the stickers on her car and the seat belt in, so we're ready to go for a ride outside. . .if only the weather was a bit warmer.
For Christmas, she got 100 balls. Instead of spending money on a ball pit, we decided to convert her pack-n-play into one. She loved it! Slowly, but surely we are getting all of her toys put together and organized. It's pretty bad when you look through a toy catalog and find yourself saying, "Got it, got it, got it, etc." That's when you know you have too much stuff.
Olivia has been busy enjoying all of her presents. We thought that we were going to be able to try out her sled today, but the snow stopped. This Christmas was hard for me because we were unable to spend it with our extended family. Next year, we should be able to get all of the cousins together. My family, in particular, is going through a transitional phase which means our traditions are not staying the same. As long as I can remember, we spent Christmas Eve at my grandparents' house which doesn't happen anymore. I've also been going crazy with cabin fever this winter. It's increasingly difficult to keep Olivia at home when she's starting to explore everything. We really enjoyed spending the last two days out of the house with Olivia's two sets of grandparents. I think the festivities wore Olivia out because she slept until 9:40 am this morning!
Thanks, Izzy, for my learning chair! I love my new wheels!
As I mentioned before, Olivia got a special gift from her Grandpa Glunt. When Ryan was a child, his dad would carve ornaments for the kids each year. He always made ornaments of their favorite toys or interests that year. When Ryan was about Olivia's age, he got an ornament of his favorite horse. I actually had a bucky horse just like it. Maybe some of you did too?
So, Olivia had to have one made of her pony (quite possibly the best toy ever made.)
Now, they'll hang side by side on the tree and I know it will be special for Olivia for years to come.
This afternoon we celebrated Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa Glunt. We had a wonderful meal. . .my favorite part was the cookie!
Good thing grandma had an extra shirt I could borrow. I was a mess!
So what if it no longer matches my shoes. I love my new Robeez, by the way.
I liked this present.
I think I'll open it. . .or at least crawl over it.
So many presents. . .our house looks like Toys R Us. I'm very grateful for all of them and I hope everyone liked my gifts as well. I received a special gift from my grandpa. I'll have to show it to you tomorrow.
This afternoon we had Christmas over at Grandma and Grandpa Sailing's house. We even had a turkey dinner.
I was an angel, as usual.
Me and my grandma.
This was made just for me. It's me in my giraffe Halloween costume. It is so very very special for me, mom and dad.
Look at what I got! Mom and dad are going to be busy putting everything together and then finding places to store them. Good thing mama got a shelf organizer for my playroom. My grandma read a story to me.
Dad was silly with me.
My mom still says I'm the best gift ever received.
We woke up this morning, went downstairs and found this! Olivia must have been a really good girl. She even got a sled with her name on it!
Of course, she didn't care anything about opening presents. So, we put on Baby Signing Time and opened her presents for her. Silly girl. This is probably one of the few Christmases, however, that we will get away with not opening presents until 10 am. I hope all of you had a great Christmas morning!
Look at what I got from "aunt" Kerry! A new riding toy!
My computer was on the fritz today. Every time I tried to use it, I got the dreaded blue screen of death. After working all day, my husband spent all night trying to fix it. I don't know what normal people do when they have computer problems. I mean, the Dell support people couldn't figure out what was wrong. Ryan fixes everything and before I met Ryan, my brother took care of things for me. My brilliant husband got it up and running again and I'm so grateful.
Olivia got an early Christmas present when Kerry came over to visit today. Her legs need to be a bit longer to make it go as fast as she'd like, but she loves it. Riding toys are the best thing ever! I got a chuckle when I read the box and it says, "Your child can walk behind it and when they're older, it converts to a ride on." Olivia must have it backwards because she has trouble walking behind things, but loves to ride on them.
It doesn't feel like tomorrow is Christmas Eve. We're not doing any celebrations with our family until later in the week, so it's just a normal day in our lives. I hope all of you have a blessed Christmas Eve.
In a perfect world, Olivia and Logan would be celebrating their first birthday on December 23rd. That was my due date. Instead, Olivia celebrates her birthday in the summer without her twin brother. I guess I shouldn't say "perfect" because a world that doesn't follow God's plan is far from perfect. It's easy, however, to trust in God's plan when it follows your own wants and desires. When it means not being able to watch your child grow up or enduring other tragedies. . .it can be difficult at times. Our idea of perfect is often different from God's. If it wasn't, God would have sent his son to be born in some royal palace instead of in a stable. That would have made more sense to our human minds, but that wasn't God's plan. His plan truly is perfect. That takes a lot for me to say given that my plan would have included raising Olivia and Logan as twins. But, He knows what is best. . .much more than I do.
So, as I celebrate Olivia's would-be birthday, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. . .my prayer is to grow more accepting of God's plan in my life. . .whatever that may be. My prayer is for none of us to carry anger in our hearts about a life that doesn't seem fair or one that hasn't gone as planned. Trust that it has gone according to God's plan and that's something that is perfect.
I've been rather down lately. It's been almost 2 months since I started on supplements and medication for my adrenal fatigue/low cortisol levels and I have yet to see any improvement. You can't expect to see any drastic results on the supplements, but the steroids I'm on were supposed to make me feel better within a month. My doctors aren't quite sure why I'm not seeing more improvement, but they are augmenting my therapy with yet another medication. Now, my estimated six month use of hydrocortisone has been extended which has its own set of risks. Instead of feeling normal in 6 months. . .it may now be 1-2 years. I tell ya, stress is a killer!
To top it off, I didn't have a very good day yesterday. Olivia and I often take naps together in bed. I love that time together and I think she does too. We both get rest and she snuggles up next to me. Well, lately she has started to think it's funny to crawl over to the side of the bed and look down. She always looks back at me as if to say that she knows I don't like her to do that and I grab onto her and pull her back. She thinks that is just hilarious and scurries to the edge of the bed again. Well, yesterday she just crawled right off the bed. She didn't stop to look back at me and it happened so fast, that I couldn't grab her. It was awful. Amazingly, she doesn't have any bumps or bruises and after crying for a few minutes, she was back to her happy self. I beat myself up over it pretty bad, though. I mean, I put cushioned edges on the coffee table and fireplace, a gate on the stairs (that is mounted to the wall, by the way) and then I let her fall off the bed. It's the end of naps in bed and I'm guessing I won't be nabbing any nominations for mother of the year. Anyway, I'll leave you with a hilarious picture. . .be sure to look at it full size! My sweet Olivia. . .always makes me laugh.
***Thanks so much. . you have all made me feel much better. It seems all I'm saying these days is. . "Be careful, watch out, no no. . ." as Olivia gets into everything and rides her pony like a mad woman sometimes. (Although she can maneuver that thing better than some people drive cars.) Part of me is pleased and thankful for her newfound mobility, but I could have done without the bed incident. Later last night when we deemed Olivia okay, Ryan said, "Hey, I'm just glad it happened to you first and not me." Thanks honey.
We now have a gate. . .thanks to my dad. It's almost impossible to put up a gate when you don't have walls on both sides. My dad, however, has an uncanny ability to find creative solutions to make anything work. Thanks dad! Now I don't worry about Olivia riding her pony down the stairs.
I unexpectedly gave birth at 23 weeks to micro-preemie twins on August 27, 2007. Olivia Paige weighed just 1 lb 1.5 oz and was 11.5 inches long. Logan William weighed just 1 lb 1.75 oz and was 11.5 inches long. Our sweet Logan passed away after 1 month and 1 day. After 105 days, we were able to bring Olivia home. She is our miracle, our survivor, our joy. . .
On November 20, 2012 we welcomed little sister, Abigail, into our lives. She was born at 35 weeks, but only spent 8 days in the hospital before coming home. We feel very blessed. To contact Ryan and Jodi you may email them at: firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com
You were the perfect little boy Of whom we always dreamed. Did you know we had your name picked out? All along or so it seemed.
You even had your daddy’s hands So miniature in size. In life we never got to hold you Or even see your opened eyes.
We had so many plans for you. Did you know you are a twin? I wanted you to grow up together. What a pair you would have been!
I wanted to take you to the park And push you on the swing. I wanted to teach you how to walk, And read and write and sing.
I wanted to show you a fire truck And let you ride upon a horse. I wanted to take you to the zoo To see the giraffes, of course.
I wanted you to watch cartoons And play video games with dad. And you and I would take a nap Oh, the times we would have had.
But, your mommy’s plans were not to be. “I have other plans,” God said. “You won't be playing in life’s playground You’ll be playing in heaven instead.”
And although I ache with sadness And in my arms I long to hold. I’ll see you again in heaven When my story on earth’s been told.
A thousand tiny fireflies Parading through the night Illuminate the starless skies With incandescent light They are miracles, here on earth So bold, so strong, so wise And bring to life a sense of worth For those who lack great size.
Some of this life’s smaller treasures Are the ones which matter more Than the larger joys and pleasures That we have grown to adore Volume is not as essential As the gift that lies inside Smaller souls with much potential Who shall never be denied.
A thousand tiny fireflies Parading through the night Illuminate the starless skies With incandescent light These children, while born premature Are testaments of worth Their spirits bold, their futures sure To ever bless the earth.