We only spent about 30 minutes up at the hospital with Olivia today. When we arrived, she was sleeping so peacefully and she was saturating very nicely at 21% (room air.) This was after they turned her vent settings down to 17/5 with a rate of 13. It seems that she loves it in isolation. She needs the rest and we didn’t want to bother her. Of course, we wanted to wake her up and talk to her and see her, but that’s not what is best for her. We did whisper a little happy birthday song to her before we left. It breaks my heart because I don’t want her to think that we didn’t come to see her. It’s been so hard not getting to hold her. Ryan and I both miss it so much. She even gained another 40 grams last night which puts her very close to 2 lbs 12 oz. Like we’ve said before, we believe the isolation is just a precaution. All of her cultures have come back negative thus far and we’re hoping that she is moved out by Monday. She’ll be rested and ready for CPAP!! Please continue to keep her in your prayers.
You know, people take about having a weight on your shoulders. I’ve been physically feeling this weight and have a huge knot in my shoulders that I’m having a hard time getting rid of. Last night, it caused me to have the worst headache. I received a daily devotional yesterday from Mary and Ed and it illustrated my point so nicely. I will post a portion of that:
If I recall correctly, Ian Thomas illustrates this point by telling the story of a man walking down a dusty rural road on a hot, humid day. The man is loaded down with a heavy backpack and carries a duffle bag in each hand. A pick-up truck comes along, and the driver offers the walking man a ride, telling him to hop in the back. The driver heads down the road, but when he looks in the rear-view mirror he sees that his new passenger is standing in the bed of the truck – still holding both duffle bags, still wearing the over-packed backpack on his back. The thing is: We stand in the truck of faith, still carrying our burdens, thinking they are independent of the ride we’re taking. Perhaps we think God can carry us, but not our burdens, that we have to keep bearing them ourselves.
I am guilty sometimes of accepting the ride, but standing in the bed of the truck while still holding on to my burdens. Lately my burdens have been too much for me and I’ve been praying for the ability to give them completely to God. One of my favorite songs (from my records I listened to so long ago) is:
I cast all my cares upon you
I lay all of my burdens down at your feet.
And anytime I don’t know what to do.
I will cast all my cares upon you.
2 days ago