Thursday, October 25, 2007

Thursday, October 25, 2007 - Update

I’m the proud mother of a 2 lb 10oz little girl! She gained over 40 grams last night and we were so excited. Her eye cultures have come back negative for any type of infection. Not a whole lot more to report on her. . .she’s just getting stronger (she’s starting to develop quite a bit of muscle tone) and bigger. We couldn’t be happier about that. Please always think of my Olivia and pray for her every day.

I’ve noticed that some days I do a lot better than others. Some days I feel so angry and bitter and I hope that doesn’t reflect too much in my writing because that’s not the kind of person that I am. It’s hard not to feel those emotions, however, when I feel like I’ve had to fight so very hard for my children. It’s hard not to constantly ask, “Why me?” When I feel like that, I’m just reminded of all the things that I have to be thankful for. I’m then reminded that God is a merciful God. I was by myself at home in the morning on the day that Logan and Olivia were born. What would have happened if I’d given birth to them alone at home? God made sure I was at the hospital with my family so that Logan and Olivia could get the proper medical treatment immediately. For reasons I will never understand, God had to take my Logan from me. But, he also gave me my beautiful daughter. God gave me a husband who loves me no matter what and who will always love his children unconditionally regardless of any obstacle that they face. God gave Ryan and I parents who showed us what it means to be wonderful parents. I have the most amazing family and friends and neighbors. If anyone needs a good chiropractor, I can’t say enough wonderful things about Dopps Chiropractic (Dr. Ian and Dr. Kamra Dopps) in Maize, KS. They have gone above and beyond in supporting us throughout this whole ordeal. Stress does not do nice things to your body. Neither does eating dinner at 11:00 pm, however, I think we’ll be eating by 9:30 pm tonight. Anyway, I just hope that everybody tries to look for the good in their life. It’s there even when it seems there is only heartache. It’s a peace that only exists when you accept Jesus as your personal savior. It’s a peace that I hope all of you have.


Anonymous said...

Jodi and Ryan, your faith and endurance never cease to amaze me. Even when you're saying "Why me?", you know that God is a wonderful, caring God and that He will always be with you! You are always in our thoughts and prayers and our Thanksgivings, too. Mary and Ed.

Shannon said...

I am so happy to hear that Olivia has gained weight and the cultures were negative!

Don't feel bad about writing how you feel. This is a place where everyone understands and knows that it is okay to do this sometimes. The "why me" is hard. Ashton is 28months old and I have been going through the "why me" lately. I get so overwhelmed with doctors and therapists and now that he is getting bigger it is obvious how severe his CP is. It is hard to handle at times.

On the bright side, I know that he was given to me for a reason and I have always felt like I would have a disabled child. He lights up my life everyday and is an absolutely awesome kid!

Miracles said...

This is such great news! I was hoping for a negative culture for her. The weight gain is awesome too! Way to go Olivia!!!

You guys are going to have your good and your bad days. It's all part of the NICU roller coaster. Every day is a different day. Things can change at the drop of a dime. My best advice is to just be there for eachother.

Anonymous said...

Jodi and Ryan,
Yay! I'm so glad Olivia has gained weight! I'm so happy for all of you! I'm also happy about her eye exams and their 'negative' results! You must be so proud of her progress! She is turning in to such a strong person, and I can't wait to see how she acts when she gets older.
It's amazing how God can make you feel good about something but you can also feel bad about it. You have handled it so well, and I can only hope and pray that it coninues to only get easier for you. But isn't it just mind-boggling?

Love you all so much
Stay Strong,
(talk later)