A Day To Remember

I'm really glad that we decided to attend "A Day to Remember," which was a memorial service held at Wesley Medical Center. We weren't quite sure what to expect and some days. . .well, some days I just don't feel like crying. It was a beautiful service with music and poetry. As your child's name was read, you were invited to stand. Everyone received a rose and a bookmark. A brick was then placed in the courtyard in remembrance of all the babies honored. We made the decision not to bring Olivia with us. We didn't think it would be appropriate to have a baby in a room full of people who have lost their own.

I felt that we needed to be there to honor Logan and to become reacquainted with the family of Logan's old neighbor. If you'll remember back over one year ago, Logan's neighbor, Johnrey, passed away on September 20th. News of his passing was very difficult for me. I wanted to believe that every baby in the NICU went home to their families and Johnrey's death hit a little too close to home. I passed by this little boy every day and smiled at his parents. After learning of his passing, I stared at his empty isolette and couldn't imagine the emptiness his parents must feel. Little did I know. . .Logan would pass away just 8 short days later. This family continues to need our prayers. They waited for God to bless them with a child for 13 years. They were finally blessed with their baby boy and they were only able to spend 16 short days with him on earth. It angers me. It breaks my heart into a million pieces. People ask how I coped with the loss of my son. Some days it is still very difficult, but my daughter gets me through it. I don't know how I would have survived the loss of my Logan without my Olivia. We hope to keep in touch with this couple and help them in any way we can. I just know that Logan's bed in heaven is still right next to Johnrey's.

I wanted to share a few poems that were read today at the memorial:

The Mention of His Name - Anonymous

The mention of my child's name may bring tears to my eyes, but it never fails to bring music to my ears. If you are really my friend, let me hear the beautiful music of his name. It soothes my broken heart and sings to my soul.

The Shopping Trip by Linda Vicory

(I have changed this poem to read "he" instead of "she" as I remember Logan.)

As I peruse the aisles of the local store,

I see things more differently than I ever have before.

"Daddy's Little Angel," the embroidered bibs do read.

But, Daddy's angel is in Heaven, and bibs he does not need.

He does not need a bottle, an outfit or a toy.

Of buying those things for him, we shall never know the joy.

There are tiny jars of baby food, that he will never eat.

And shiny shoes with buckles that will never touch his feet.

As the bikes and trikes taunt me, from high up on the rack,

Tears will break free from my eyes if I dare look back.

I run off to the restroom, to blow my nose and cry.

I wipe my eyes, swallow hard, and let out a sigh.

I must go face the paper, college and wide rule,

That my little angel will never use in school.

I hurry past the greeting cards that the people choose with care.

And I am reminded of the holidays we shall not share.

In the checkout line I bow my head, and heavy is my heart,

For the family right in front of me has a newborn in their cart.

Shopping in the local store used to be mundane.

Now every aisle's full of items, which remind me of my pain.

So, quick as I can, I give the cashier the money from my purse.

And hurry away from those who don't know my pain

in this foreignly happy universe.