Logan's Sisters: He'll Always Be My Son

Friday, November 21, 2008

He'll Always Be My Son

A few days ago, Neva left a really good comment about grieving parents. Sometimes it's difficult to talk about Logan, but I always want to talk about him. Most of you didn't get to meet him, but he was here and he was perfect. He was my son, he was a cousin, a nephew, a brother, a grandson, a great-grandson. . .and just because he's no longer here doesn't mean he is no longer any of those things. He'll always be my son. I am not, nor will I ever be, the same person that I'd be if he was still here. Planning your child's funeral breaks something inside of you that can never be repaired. Ryan is not the same person and neither is Olivia. It's hard sometimes to wonder what Olivia would be like with Logan around. Would they play together? Would they laugh at each other? Would they be inseparable? Would they fight like siblings do? Sometimes when I watch Olivia play. . .I picture Logan beside her and wonder what if. I think those thoughts will run through my mind forever. I will never forget him. Thank you for allowing me to share Logan and his amazing sister with you.

4 comments:

Amanda said...: That is so sweet, and so true. Just because he isn't here, doesnt mean you should't be able to talk about him, or have others talk about him too. I know, that at church, if a husband passes away, the wife would still like to be called Mrs. Willard Abney, or whatever their name was, for remembrance. I wouldn't think that thinking things you do would ever go away... and I don't think they should. He was your son, and you should think of him as much as you want. love you guys!; November 21, 2008 at 11:47 AM
Laura said...: I was one of the lucky few who got to meet Logan. We remember him each time we look out at his tree and we will remember him each Christmas with a memorial poinsettia at church. We love you all so much. Last night at the community Thanksgiving service we had a great lesson. First we were to think of the best thing in our life. Then we bowed our heads and gave thanks to God. Then we were to think of the worst thing. Then we bowed our head and gave thanks to God. Thesselonians says, "in everything give thanks" only knowing that God knows so much more than I do and that I can trust Him makes that possible.
Laura; November 21, 2008 at 1:10 PM
Anonymous said...: I'm so glad those words were good for you! Please know we always enjoy hearing about Logan on your blog! You are always in my thoughts and prayers and we've never even met! You just seem like such a dear person. I'll have to email you and send you some pictures of us so you can put a face with the name!
Love
Neva; November 21, 2008 at 2:16 PM
Anonymous said...: Thank you for this post. I have been reading your blog for a while since I found it from other preemie blogs. I have a little girl angel who was a preemie and lived 2 days, she is my daughter. It's always very hard when someone see me with her little brother and they ask if he is my only child because I never know how to respond so that there aren't too many questions but to not disrespect her. I love my son and know that I am a better mother because of the loss that I have felt losing her. Thanks for letting me get this out! You are a fantastic mother of 2 very special children.

Tara Ciravolo; November 22, 2008 at 6:08 PM

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Never Before

NEVER BEFORE
by Jodi Glunt

Never before have I known such love
As that which I feel in my heart.
My beautiful daughter, although physically petite
Fills up an enormous part.

Never before have I seen such strength
From a person who weighed but a pound.
And yet she’s a fighter through and through
With very little that gets her down.

Never before have I heard such laughter
With an energy and zest for life.
She consistently shows me the wonder and joy
While overlooking the pain and strife.

Never before have I felt such mercy
From a God who has allowed me to raise
This miraculous, amazing daughter of mine
On earth, throughout all of my days.

A micropreemie shattering every prediction
About the life she had in store.
Teaching us all about the miracles within us
That we never quite realized before.

Playing In Heaven Instead by Jodi Glunt

You were the perfect little boy
Of whom we always dreamed.
Did you know we had your name picked out?
All along or so it seemed.

You even had your daddy’s hands
So miniature in size.
In life we never got to hold you
Or even see your opened eyes.

We had so many plans for you.
Did you know you are a twin?
I wanted you to grow up together.
What a pair you would have been!

I wanted to take you to the park
And push you on the swing.
I wanted to teach you how to walk,
And read and write and sing.

I wanted to show you a fire truck
And let you ride upon a horse.
I wanted to take you to the zoo
To see the giraffes, of course.

I wanted you to watch cartoons
And play video games with dad.
And you and I would take a nap
Oh, the times we would have had.

But, your mommy’s plans were not to be.
“I have other plans,” God said.
“You won't be playing in life’s playground
You’ll be playing in heaven instead.”

And although I ache with sadness
And in my arms I long to hold.
I’ll see you again in heaven
When my story on earth’s been told.

A Poem

A thousand tiny fireflies
Parading through the night
Illuminate the starless skies
With incandescent light
They are miracles, here on earth
So bold, so strong, so wise
And bring to life a sense of worth
For those who lack great size.

Some of this life’s smaller treasures
Are the ones which matter more
Than the larger joys and pleasures
That we have grown to adore
Volume is not as essential
As the gift that lies inside
Smaller souls with much potential
Who shall never be denied.

A thousand tiny fireflies
Parading through the night
Illuminate the starless skies
With incandescent light
These children, while born premature
Are testaments of worth
Their spirits bold, their futures sure
To ever bless the earth.

© 2006 – Jill Eisnaugle’s
Poetry Collection

Friday, November 21, 2008

He'll Always Be My Son

4 comments:

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Never Before

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