Friday, November 21, 2008

He'll Always Be My Son

A few days ago, Neva left a really good comment about grieving parents. Sometimes it's difficult to talk about Logan, but I always want to talk about him. Most of you didn't get to meet him, but he was here and he was perfect. He was my son, he was a cousin, a nephew, a brother, a grandson, a great-grandson. . .and just because he's no longer here doesn't mean he is no longer any of those things. He'll always be my son. I am not, nor will I ever be, the same person that I'd be if he was still here. Planning your child's funeral breaks something inside of you that can never be repaired. Ryan is not the same person and neither is Olivia. It's hard sometimes to wonder what Olivia would be like with Logan around. Would they play together? Would they laugh at each other? Would they be inseparable? Would they fight like siblings do? Sometimes when I watch Olivia play. . .I picture Logan beside her and wonder what if. I think those thoughts will run through my mind forever. I will never forget him. Thank you for allowing me to share Logan and his amazing sister with you.

4 comments:

Amanda said...

That is so sweet, and so true. Just because he isn't here, doesnt mean you should't be able to talk about him, or have others talk about him too. I know, that at church, if a husband passes away, the wife would still like to be called Mrs. Willard Abney, or whatever their name was, for remembrance. I wouldn't think that thinking things you do would ever go away... and I don't think they should. He was your son, and you should think of him as much as you want. love you guys!

Julia said...

I was one of the lucky few who got to meet Logan. We remember him each time we look out at his tree and we will remember him each Christmas with a memorial poinsettia at church. We love you all so much. Last night at the community Thanksgiving service we had a great lesson. First we were to think of the best thing in our life. Then we bowed our heads and gave thanks to God. Then we were to think of the worst thing. Then we bowed our head and gave thanks to God. Thesselonians says, "in everything give thanks" only knowing that God knows so much more than I do and that I can trust Him makes that possible.
Laura

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad those words were good for you! Please know we always enjoy hearing about Logan on your blog! You are always in my thoughts and prayers and we've never even met! You just seem like such a dear person. I'll have to email you and send you some pictures of us so you can put a face with the name!
Love
Neva

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post. I have been reading your blog for a while since I found it from other preemie blogs. I have a little girl angel who was a preemie and lived 2 days, she is my daughter. It's always very hard when someone see me with her little brother and they ask if he is my only child because I never know how to respond so that there aren't too many questions but to not disrespect her. I love my son and know that I am a better mother because of the loss that I have felt losing her. Thanks for letting me get this out! You are a fantastic mother of 2 very special children.

Tara Ciravolo