Sunday, May 3, 2009 - Update

But, I wasn't done with our walk. . .

Just when I start believing that I haven't lost my mind, I go out in public like this. Oh, they're the same color. . .just two entirely different shoes!

As many of you know, I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue about 6 months ago. I have been on multiple supplements as well as hydrocortisone during that time. I was told that it could take up to 2 years to see improvement because of the severity. Some days I feel okay, other days I feel pretty hopeless. . .like it’s never going to get better. The two major factors that tend to lead to adrenal fatigue are emotional stress and diet. I haven’t quite found a way to properly deal with everything that has taken place over the past 20 months, so I decided to begin seeing a therapist (after much coaxing from friends, family and doctors.) My therapist just so happens to be very knowledgeable about adrenal fatigue because she was diagnosed with it 7 years ago. She has only begun feeling better within the last year and that was after dealing with her food sensitivities and allergies, a large component of adrenal fatigue. I have long suspected that I have some food sensitivities/allergies. My therapist had to give up dairy and gluten and only after that, did her energy return. When your body is sensitive or allergic to a food, your adrenal glands pump out cortisol to combat it. When you react to stress in a negative way, your adrenal glands also pump out cortisol to combat it, which further exhausts them. Like anything that is overworked, your adrenals succumb to the exhaustion and can no longer keep up with the demand. The only way to deal with overworked adrenal glands, is to allow them to rest, which is why I’m on supplemental cortisol. I am also not supposed to get overly stressed (yeah, right) or do anything that makes my adrenal glands work too hard. Even vigorous exercise is not beneficial when your adrenal glands aren’t functioning properly because it makes them attempt to pump out even more cortisol. It’s sort of like trying to squeeze blood from a turnip.

I’m determined to feel better because I want Olivia to have a happy, energetic mother. My therapist thinks that she can help me. She also thinks that I might need help dealing with a bit of post-traumatic stress. I would think anyone who gave birth extremely prematurely or lost a child would deal with this as well. That still leaves my diet, which is something that I have to figure out how to do on my own. I know that bread does not make me feel very well, but I don’t know if it’s the gluten or the yeast. There is a blood test, I believe, that tells you exactly what you are allergic or sensitive too. I hear it’s quite expensive, though, and insurance doesn’t pay for it. I know that I have to do something about my complete lack of energy in order to do the things in life that I wish to do. Hopefully, I’m on the right track, but I could use some prayers along the way.

So, why am I telling you all this? Well, besides the fact that we’re all friends, right? It’s hard to feel like you are the only one experiencing a hardship or needing a counselor. Many of us tend to go through life with a fake smile on our face. . .not realizing that our struggles could help someone else. (Granted, a fake smile is better than no smile at all.) Many of you have been there for me and I want to be there for you. . .whether it’s because of infertility, premature birth, infant death, adrenal fatigue, etc. Or, just as a friend.

I’m still taking a bit of a blogging break, so I probably won’t have another post up right away. I promise I will try to take some pictures again soon. Olivia and I are both either really bothered by allergies or both of us are sick. . .again. I only hope she doesn’t feel as miserable as I do right now.