Monday, July 9, 2012

Monday, July 9, 2012

I’ve really been struggling lately.   I feel like most moms are taking their children to fun, exciting places every day and I’m worried about whether I’ve been on my feet too much.  I feel like the restrictions from my pregnancy are affecting Olivia the most.  Today, she slipped on a piece of paper that had fallen off the table and she fell. . .hard. . .on the laminate floor.  I ran over to scoop her up and, through her tears, she said, “What are you doing? You aren’t supposed to pick me up!”  During her time of need, she’s thinking of me and the baby.  She is so understanding and never once has said, “What about me?”  It just brings tears to my eyes. 

It would be different if I felt I was careless during my first pregnancy that ended at 23 weeks.  But, I wasn’t.  I was so very cautious!  So, I feel that I need to be extra cautious with this one because I can’t afford to not be cautious enough!  That sometimes means I might inconvenience people or not do the things I want or need to do.  And I’m sorry to everyone. . .especially Olivia.  I’m hoping someday she will look back and feel so grateful to have a sibling and always know that her mama loves her so much!!


Juliette said...

Hang in there. I know those exact feelings. I was on complete bedrest for nearly 6 months and in the hospital for 3. I missed out on LOTS of stuff with Ryan in a very critical year of his life. I worried everyday that he was going to be scarred for life. Ryan and I are now super close, he enjoys his little brother (sometimes), he doesn't ever mention anything related to those months. Olivia will do great. Taking all extra precautions is the best for all of you. Something that I always reminded myself of while on bedrest was "taking care of a baby in the NICU and being torn between 2 kids, 1 at home and 1 in the hospital, would be way more difficult than being at home with one with the other safely inside." You can do this!

Anonymous said...

Awww....sorry you are feeling this way. Olivia seems to be really understanding and she will be so excited to meet her sibling. Like the prior person said, having one in the NICU and one at home is hard. I felt like I was ignoring Carson while Evan was in the NICU. As my Pedi's nurse always says: "And this too shall pass."

Brandi W.

Jen said...

So sorry Jodi! That sounds very frustrating. But it does seem like Olivia is really understanding that she is going to have a little brother/sister and she is such a sweet little girl. The excitement of the sibling will more than make up for anything she might be feeling right now. Kids are pretty resilient. Although my pregnancy was pretty uneventful with Graham, big brother Cooper seemed to recover pretty nicely from the many mornings he had to eat cheerios straight out of a box because I was too tired to get him a bowl. (Please don't judge :)) Take some comfort in knowing that all of us mamas experience guilt in one form or another, and please don't be hard on yourself! Praying and thinking of you all daily-in this exciting time for your family! I'm going to message you about bringing you dinner sometime!