Friday, February 15, 2013

Friday, February 15, 2013

I've long suspected that something was "wrong" with my breast milk. Abigail just seems so bothered by it after eating and her tummy seems to hurt a lot. About a week ago, she started having very frequent, very loose stools. I stopped counting after she had 10 per day. Last night, there was a bit of blood in it. I have been blaming my antibiotic because that's about when it started. So, I took her into the doctor today and they are suspecting a milk protein allergy induced colitis. I am to switch to Alimentum formula and cut out all dairy from my diet. But, I think I'm officially calling it quits with breastfeeding. I already struggle a lot with what to eat because of my blood sugars and my tendency towards kidney stones. I can't cut yet another thing out of my diet and remain sane. For some, breastfeeding goes smoothly and that just hasn't been the case with me. Part of me is a bit relieved because I've been stressing about any and everything that I eat and how it will affect her. But, I'm so very sad about it too. Not only is it cheaper (especially compared to Alimentum) but it is more convenient and I love the closeness. It calms her down immediately when she's fussy. For awhile at least. So tonight I held her close with a pacifier in her mouth and I cried. Some of you may think that's silly, but for some reason it's really hard for me. I'm not 100% convinced that it's a milk protein allergy, but I realize I need to investigate that possibility. I just want to do what's best for Abigail and I no longer believe, in our case, that breastfeeding is it.

Other than that, she is doing wonderfully and now sleeps for 6 consecutive hours a night. She wakes at about 3 am and then again at 7 am. It's been lovely.



2 comments:

Brandi W. said...

Awww. Sorry about the nursing. Both of my kids ended up on Alimentum. It is expensive but they were happier on the formula. When they were six months old we were able to switch to sensitive formula. I think I may have some Similac coupons if your interested!

Jacquie said...

Jodi, please don't beat yourself up over this. You've done an awesome job with the breastfeeding since she was born!!! You've stuck it out much longer than most moms would have given the struggles you've seen with her tummy and unhappiness. In the end, you've given her a great start. What I tell the mothers in my childbirth class is "Any breast milk is better than none." And you have definitely provided that!!! I have read all of your posts and "heard" your struggle with what to do. I hope that, if nothing else, this decision relieves some of the conflict you've felt. She will do awesome because of the unconditional love you give her and of course the love of her daddy and big sister!!!! Hang in there!!!!