Logan's Sisters: Bad Day

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Bad Day

Just having one of those really hard days. Abigail started sleeping through the night at 3 months, but for the past week she has had me up every few hours. I'm sure that has added to my crankiness as I spent the whole morning yelling at Olivia. That makes me feel awful, but somedays getting her to get dressed and eat is impossible. Olivia actually weighs less than she did when she turned 5. I take it personal. . .like I'm not keeping her healthy. Now I'm waiting to take Abigail for her 4 month checkup which means more shots and a cranky baby. I've been struggling with my blood sugars again. Last night they were at an all-time high. I stopped my insulin when I gave birth and while nursing, my blood sugars have been great (another benefit of nursing.) I've been weaning her as she ONLY wants to nurse in the middle of the night and morning. I bottle feed her the rest of the time and pump during the day. But now I have to officially quit nursing so that I can get back on Metformin to control my blood sugars. It's either that or continue nursing and go back on insulin. I keep telling myself that I need to take care of myself, ya know? I'm just frustrated with myself. My lack of milk supply frustrates me, my blood sugars frustrate me, my inability to start an exercise program and stick to it frustrates me. Thanks. Just needed to vent. :-(

1 comment:

Unknown said...: It's good to vent! It makes you feel better. :0) Carson and Olivia should be friends. He is VERY picky. This morning I made pancakes and gave him some fruit. He shook his head no and refused to eat at all. I finally gave him an applesauce pouch to get something in his tummy. BUT they said at preschool he is a good eater for them. Guess he's playing me? Maybe Ms. Abigail is having a little growing spurt? I remember my kids doing that. It will all work out in the end! Oh, congrats on not having a IEP! Yay Olivia! BTW, did you get a chance to ask Gannon's Mom if she could chat/email me? Hope your day gets better!; April 3, 2013 at 1:33 PM

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Never Before

NEVER BEFORE
by Jodi Glunt

Never before have I known such love
As that which I feel in my heart.
My beautiful daughter, although physically petite
Fills up an enormous part.

Never before have I seen such strength
From a person who weighed but a pound.
And yet she’s a fighter through and through
With very little that gets her down.

Never before have I heard such laughter
With an energy and zest for life.
She consistently shows me the wonder and joy
While overlooking the pain and strife.

Never before have I felt such mercy
From a God who has allowed me to raise
This miraculous, amazing daughter of mine
On earth, throughout all of my days.

A micropreemie shattering every prediction
About the life she had in store.
Teaching us all about the miracles within us
That we never quite realized before.

Playing In Heaven Instead by Jodi Glunt

You were the perfect little boy
Of whom we always dreamed.
Did you know we had your name picked out?
All along or so it seemed.

You even had your daddy’s hands
So miniature in size.
In life we never got to hold you
Or even see your opened eyes.

We had so many plans for you.
Did you know you are a twin?
I wanted you to grow up together.
What a pair you would have been!

I wanted to take you to the park
And push you on the swing.
I wanted to teach you how to walk,
And read and write and sing.

I wanted to show you a fire truck
And let you ride upon a horse.
I wanted to take you to the zoo
To see the giraffes, of course.

I wanted you to watch cartoons
And play video games with dad.
And you and I would take a nap
Oh, the times we would have had.

But, your mommy’s plans were not to be.
“I have other plans,” God said.
“You won't be playing in life’s playground
You’ll be playing in heaven instead.”

And although I ache with sadness
And in my arms I long to hold.
I’ll see you again in heaven
When my story on earth’s been told.

A Poem

A thousand tiny fireflies
Parading through the night
Illuminate the starless skies
With incandescent light
They are miracles, here on earth
So bold, so strong, so wise
And bring to life a sense of worth
For those who lack great size.

Some of this life’s smaller treasures
Are the ones which matter more
Than the larger joys and pleasures
That we have grown to adore
Volume is not as essential
As the gift that lies inside
Smaller souls with much potential
Who shall never be denied.

A thousand tiny fireflies
Parading through the night
Illuminate the starless skies
With incandescent light
These children, while born premature
Are testaments of worth
Their spirits bold, their futures sure
To ever bless the earth.

© 2006 – Jill Eisnaugle’s
Poetry Collection

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Bad Day

1 comment:

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