Olivia is really struggling with a lot of jealousy towards Abigail. She literally broke my heart in two when she told me that I didn't take care of her as good as I did when she was 4. I always take care of Abigail, she says. Wow. I don't see how parents of multiple children do it except maybe the kids are closer in age and don't remember what it's like to be an only child? Olivia very clearly remembers. She literally bawls if I go into Abigail's room with her and shut the door. I'm just at a loss ( and getting by on 3 hours of sleep right now.) So, I decided to cancel my appointments on Thursday, take Abigail to grandma's and Olivia and I are having an afternoon to ourselves. She wants to go to the park and swimming at the Y. Just the two of us. Maybe that will help. Maybe when Abigail gets a bit older and able to play more, that will help Olivia too because she will have a playmate. Olivia is also acting out quite a bit too. I was feeding Abigail in the recliner and she was rocking it really hard. I told her if she rocked it again, she would go to her room. She looked straight at me and pushed the chair really hard. So, of course, she went to her room and I became the meanest mom in the world. Deep breath. :-) Some days are just rough. Then, Olivia and I had a heart to heart and she said:
Mom, I love you every day and every night. In the night I dream about you and during the day I have daydreams about you when we are in different places. She is so sweet. Just wish I didn't feel guilty no matter what I do. And I need sleep. Precious sleep.
To further solidify my evidence that today was an awful day, my day's friend Marty that I told you about passed away today. Thankfully, my dad was able to spend Sunday and yesterday with him. Please pray for Marty's family and my dad. Life can be so rough sometimes.
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1 comment:
Having new children is always rough and jealousy can come as part of that package. I had a grad time adjusting from one to two children and used to either lock the older child away in her room, or lock myself and the baby away from the older child while feeding the baby. And tiredness just makes everything seem worse. I'm not a child psychologist...though I sometimes thing every other needs to credit herself with that title....but a piece of advice that I once got and always stuck to was....you are a family now with two (and later three) children. Activities are done as a family. Do not separate children just because one feels jealous of the other. ....in other words, each child is special and feels that way. However no child should feel she has the power to manipulate a parent. The parents' job is to make sure each child realises she is part of a large unit and each child has a special place in that unit but no child is more worthy of extra special attention at the expense of another child.
I've always stuck to that and now my children are 10, 8 and 5 (3 days younger than Olivia) and the children themselves realise that they are different, and yet equal. I hope this helps. But please do not allow a child to guilt trip you!
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