Olivia in her first pair of blue jeans
I've got HAT-ti-tude (Okay, that one was kinda corny)Many people probably wonder why I share my struggle with infertility. It is very private. . . . . until you begin to feel all alone. I don't want anyone to ever feel like they are alone. For years, Stacie and I tossed around the idea of starting a support group called 'Hopeful Hearts'. We even had brochures made up. It was based on the idea that no one should walk alone. Someday we may still start it up. . .although now I would be interested in expanding it to include miscarriage and infant loss as well. Like I've said, it's important not to forget those that struggle in their journey to motherhood. Sometime I'm going to post a list of things NEVER to say to someone struggling to get pregnant. "Just relax" may be at the top of the list. If anyone has any that they would like to add. . .send me an email.
At the same time, I know it was very difficult for those close to me to become pregnant when they knew how much I was struggling. It's a very difficult situation for everyone. They can't help the fact that they become pregnant easily anymore than others can't help the fact that they can't. We must always remember that as well.
I know Ryan and I have come to terms with the fact that we may just be a family of three. As if getting pregnant wasn't difficult enough. . .now I would have to have a cerclage put in, probably be on bedrest and worry every day about premature labor. Plus, I had to have a classical, vertical c-section with Logan which raises my risk of uterine rupture substantially should I go into labor compared to a transverse c-section. (They couldn't stop labor the first time . . .how do I know they could stop it again?) Because of my classical c-section, my doctor will not permit to have a subsequent vaginal birth. I just want to enjoy my life with Olivia. I don't want to even think about fertility (or my lack thereof) ever again! Who knows what the future holds. . .I am just thankful that I can call myself a mom and that God allowed me to keep my beautiful daughter.
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6 comments:
If you don't mind I'll leave my most irritating phrases here.
Troubles getting pregnant:
"You need to stop thinking about it so much" (yeah right...for those that have to chart every little change throughout a month and their lives are "scheduled" around getting pregnant it's kind of hard to just forget)
Infant Loss:
"I know how you feel" (unless you've experienced the loss of a child there is no way to understand how someone feels)
I'm so glad Olivia is doing so well. I still check your blog daily. I am loving seeing her grow into quite the sweet little lady.
Julie
Love the blue jeans!
I can think of a phrase you probably got tired of hearing. "You could always adopt." (which I'm sure is great for some people, but I can imagine that if having a child of your own is a strong desire, adoption is not a replacement)
Your daddy is going to have a hard time chasing off all the boys! Katie loved seeing you in her old hat. Love ya!
Aunt Kimmy
I love her in her jeans!
I love her in her hat!
I love her "hanging out"
with her Daddy!
What is there NOT to love
about her? I can't think
of 1 single reason. What
a blessing!
Love Ya
M.A.
Please do post your list of things not to say to someone struggling with infertility and infant loss, and add a list of things for those with preemies too if you thing of it.
My husband & I have been struggling with infertility for almost 6 years. We are in the middle of an InVitro Cycle (the dreaded 2 week wait) and I am a nervous wreck. I too have received my fair share of the "stop thinking about it so much" and "just relax" comments. If one more person tells me that I will get pregnant if we "stop trying so hard" I will scream!! I want to say back that I have the test results and "trying hard" is all we can do!! Another personal favorite is when people offer suggestions, like maybe I need to stay in bed for longer afterwards...thanks, never thought of that...
The hardest part of infertility is the pain of other people's joy...just today, 2 people that I work with announced that they are pregnant. It is amazing how such a joyous sentence can completely deflate me!! I hate that feeling. I don't want to be jealous and angry but I am.
I have been following Olivia's development for awhile now...I am an NICU and Birth-Three Speech Pathologist so it warms my heart to read how well she is doing. What a blessing she must be everyday!! Glad to hear that the Prevacid is working.
Patty
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