Saturday, April 5, 2008

Saturday, April 6, 2008 - Update

Lately I've been particularly down and I'm not quite sure why. This morning I think I realized a few things. All relationships and friendships are built on giving and taking and lately I've felt that I've only been taking. I'll never be able to repay everyone who has been so supportive over the last several months. I'm still not caught up on my thank you notes. Sometimes I barely find it in me just to get through the day. I still struggle from time to time from bouts of depression. For months, I spent every day at the hospital and the past few months in isolation at home. I can't go many places and it's still a little nerve-wracking to have a lot of people over. So, I sit here at my computer and I have no idea how to tell my friends and family how much they mean to me. I don't know how long it will take me to recover from the last 7 months. . .it's been quite exhausting to me physically, mentally and emotionally. I just feel that I'm in a rather hard place. As we near the end of RSV season, I'm not sure how much to expose Olivia to. Where is the line between being careless and being over-protective? I don't want Olivia to be 2 years old with no immunities built up, however, I want to do everything in my power to keep her safe. I don't know where or how to find the answers. Please continue to keep me and my family in your prayers and know that you are all in mine.

6 comments:

Kerry said...

First of all, us being supportive of you is not something that needs to be repaid. We do it because we love you and your family. That's just what being friends means. Supporting one another unconditionally in our time of need. Secondly, this blog is thanks enough. We are all so lucky to be able to watch Olivia grow and thrive. You take time out of your day to tell us about your life and Olivia. What could be better than that?

Just like you told me, I am always here if you need to talk (vent, cry, laugh, scream, etc.).

Kerry

Jodi said...

Don't follow the zololkis link. It is a spam message that could potentially be harmful to your computer. I have requested for it to be removed.

Anonymous said...

Dear Jodi,
Please don't feel bad about thanking those who have been there for you. It is an amazing feeling to know how much others care and is very humbling, but someday you will be able to be there for another person in need. (By the way, has anyone told you we may be starting a parent-to-parent group for graduate and current NICu parents-- you would be great at that!)

Also, I just wanted to let you know, I understand the immunity dilemma. It is VERY hard to know what is ok and what isn't, but I would encourage you to take small steps that you are comfortable with. We started by having lots of people to our house (not all at once of course) but that way we were in control of the situation. Guests washed hands and were healthy and then Charlie was held by lots of different people. We did this all through this winter. Now that it's not as dangerous, we are slowly venturing to other friends houses, running into a downtown store where there are barely any customers, attending small group Sunday school, etc. It is so hard to know what to do, but God will lead you and help you feel comfortable when it's the right time. We'll be praying for you!
Love,
Neva

Tygogal said...

See Please Here

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness Jodi, you don't need to thank us, we thank you! We are so happy to watch your gorgeous daughter grow up, and hear about everything she has done! It means so much to me! So please if there is anything we can do to help with anything, let us know! We love you, and so does everyone else that check up on your daughter.
Stay Strong,
Shea♥

jadengems said...

Jodi,

You don't know me, but I wanted to leave a comment for you. You see, I have been through many of the same experiences as you. My little girl was born at just 26 weeks on December 17th, 2007. We were almost in the NICU at the same time here in Wichita. I heard about you from your neighbor, Michelle Murray-Cline, a friend and co-worker of mine. I've been following your page off and on since my little girl was born.

I can't read it all the time because I used to be afraid of losing Jade in the NICU like you did Logan and I cried everytime I read your page. But, I'd keep coming back here for the hope you brought me through Olivia.

While I didn't have twins, and obviously have not been through near as much as you have, I feel and hear your pain. And your joy. I'm going through the same things as you on a day to day basis, just a few months behind.

Hearing your little girl laugh tonight brought tears to my eyes as I'm still waiting to hear mine. She smiles now, but we haven't made it far enough along for real laughter.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that if you ever want to talk to someone who has gone through alot of the same things, I'm here. I think we have a lot in common and a lot of the same battle scars.

I still live in constant fear and in constant bliss...never sure which one is stronger on any given day.

If you'd like to read about my story...its all posted on my livejournal.com.

www.livejournal.com/~jadengems.

My email is jadengems@cox.net if you ever want to talk.

Sincerely,

Lin

PS: Your daughter is beautiful...my daughter's name is Gwendolyn Jade.