Friday, May 9, 2008 - Update

Would you take this patch off? Pretty please?

Last year was my first official Mother's Day. Last year, I had all three of my babies. It wasn't until a week or so after that I found out that I had lost Baby B. Ryan bought me my first mother's bracelet. Because I was only about 7 weeks pregnant, we still referred to them as Baby A, Baby B and Baby C. The bracelet that he made me was very special at the time, but it would be months before we'd realize how truly special it was. My bracelet had an A, B, and a C on it. Ryan wanted to make it a little more colorful, so he added some beads. He used pink, blue and green.

I think that we were in the hospital after Logan and Olivia were born that we discovered it. I had a girl (pink) and a boy (blue) in August (green.) This bracelet will always be very special to me.

It's really difficult for me to think back to what my life was like one year ago. I envisioned my future entirely differently. I knew that there was a possibility that Baby B would not make it. The heart rate was a lot slower and it was much smaller than the other two. I braced myself for the possiblity. But, never, did I brace myself for everything else that was to come. I've learned never to worry about tomorrow because you have no idea (not in your wildest dreams. . .or nightmares) of what life has in store. I remember worrying about how to get three cribs into their bedroom or how to breastfeed three or even two babies. Would they share a car someday? Should I buy a triplet stroller or a double and a single? What would their birthday party themes be? In an instant, none of that became relevant. Instead, I began worrying about whether I would even be able to take my babies home. None of the other trivial things that I worried about even mattered. I feel very grateful to spend Mother's Day this year with my beautiful little girl who brings me unimaginable peace and joy. It is that peace and joy that I wish for all of you.