Mother, can't you see that I'm busy? (This is her irritated look.)
I can't say what I'm working on. . .
but, it's very important.
Now, back to work I go.I'm a bit frustrated today. I had called Olivia's doctor's office earlier in the week about her eating habits. The nurse talked to the doctor today and called me back. We moved Olivia on to the Next Step Lipil (that I add rice cereal to.) They also agreed that she should have additional Pediasure as well. However, they only want me to offer it in her sippy cup. Hello? She has not yet mastered the sippy cup. We try every single day with a cup and a straw. They also don't want her to have macaroni and cheese anymore. I do offer her other food as well. . .I would just rather her have macaroni and cheese than nothing. I don't feel that any of these suggestions address the reasons why she cries at every bottle. Sometimes I think they totally forget the fact that she was a 23 weeker. I feel like everyone (sometimes including myself) expects her to be farther along developmentally than she is. For instance, her physical therapist wanted her banging on things long before she did. I was told that feeding her Puffs (instead of her self-feeding) would contribute to "learned helplessness." Then, one day she started doing it herself and now she keeps one in each hand. They wanted her to start crawling long before she was interested in things around her. Now that she sees things that peak her interest, her natural desire is to get to them. She can get to my laptop in a flash from across the room. The thing about Olivia is that if she can do it herself, she doesn't want anyone's help. Sometimes she just isn't ready for certain things yet. I'm just frustrated, I guess. I'm having a big problem with insomnia again and haven't been getting to bed until 2 am or later. I just want people to be proud of what Olivia is doing and not try to advance her to levels that she has not yet reached.
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12 comments:
I said sometime ago that Olivia like any other baby would do things on her own time, she is a very smart baby and will do great.
Don't get discourage, just enjoy every moment with that amazing girl God gave you.
I don't understand the mac-chesse deal if she likes it why not let her eat it..........:(
Have a great day,
God is awesome:)
I also think she will do things in her own time. All babies are different, however I do agree that Mac and Cheese should be restricted because a hungy baby will try anything! My 14 month old ate chicken a-la king with rice last week and I was thrilled - but she was starving - she had refused her lunch and I had refused to give her anything else - normally I am sure she would have turned up her nose at chicken a la king, but because she was hungry she ate it - and this week she ate it again because she recognised it as having a good flavour. Tough Love is a wonderful thing but it takes guts (confidence). I think you need to be more confident in your ability to raise Olivia. You are obviously doing a wonderful job because she has come so far despite her early start in life. You are a concerned and loving parent, but sometimes this does mean you have to be cruel to be kind - is this a harsh thing to say? Be assured that by the time Olivia starts kindergarten, she will be eating more than mac and cheese, she will be toilet trained, she will sleep in a bed rather than a cot - some progressions will be natural, some need encouragement and training on your part! Pick you battles! Don't fight with her if she wants to wear open toed sandals in winter - she'll soon discover that her feet are cold, but do fight with over nutrition because in the long term this determines her health and wellbeing. Keep up the good work and be strong! Suzanne
Yeah, I don't get why they are telling you to take away one of her only foods either. If she's anything like Sydney, she'll just happily starve. Sydney also didn't master a sippy cup until she was 2!!!! I can't believe they think you should just take away the bottle cold turkey from a kid who isn't eating well, that's absolutely crazy.
Honestly, I would start looking for a feeding therapist. That way you'll both be able to get help and also have someone on your side who understand the why behind kids not eating. We waited way too long with Sydney...she started out a lot like how Olivia is acting and her sensory issues just got worse and worse and...yeah.
If you want, I also have some stuff on the 21 steps towards eating that I can mail to you or scan in and email you, from our feeding therapist. They might help a little bit? Feel free to email me at ksmilligan at gmail dot com :)
That frustrated look is so cute! I understand your frustration - Do you look like that when your frustrated too? LOL It is difficult not to expect things to come "on time" according to full terms. But they will get it when they get it. Will be praying for her to "get it" as far as the food thing goes! Hope you get some rest tonight.
I think Olivia is pretty advanced! She's doing things now that Emery has yet to do at nearly a year older than her.
Obviously, I can't help with the eating thing, but if it were me, I'd give her the mac-n-cheese if she'll eat it. Emery is still drinking out of a bottle as well. He hates the sippy. (I just don't want you to feel like Olivia's not doing something she should be.) The only thing he eats is bananas, apples and pears - so that's what he gets all day long!
Hope you feel more energy soon!
Bring on the mac and cheese I say! If she eats it no sense in taking it away since our kids literally will starve themselves to death if denied the very limited things they eat. I personally wouldn't even deal with a pedi when it comes to eating issues. I forget but does Olivia have a GI that she's working with? That would be my go to person for things like switching formulas and food tips.
My only thought reading this is: you are the mom and moms get to decide (along with dads, of course!) what is right for their kiddo. You know Olivia best and have her best interest at heart. Try not to worry what everyone else thinks.
Laura
Hey Jodi,
Don't get discouraged. I (as well as many others, I'm sure) are VERY proud of Olivia. Look how far she's come!!
We struggled with the same issues with Ryan. The therapists wanted him doing things much quicker than he did, but he finally reached all his milestones...in HIS own time. He was on a bottle for well past his one-year-old birthday. I put whole milk in it as well as his pediasure. It took Ryan a loooong time to adjust to a sippy cup, but one day it just "clicked". I'm sure Olivia will catch on too...in HER own time. Ryan just now (he's almost 2) started drinking from a straw.
You're a great mom. You know what Olivia needs. Follow your heart. Olivia is amazing.
Julie
So sorry to hear you have had some frustrating times lately! You are doing a good job with Olivia. People often think that because your micro preemie doesn't have major obvious disabilities that he or she is just like any other baby and of she's not! We got that a lot with our son. He was doing very well overall (and Olivia is too!) but that made others think that he should be doing EVERYTHING well and he had his own time tables. Don't feel bad about giving Olivia a bottle. Plenty of babies are on bottles well after their 1st baby and they turn out just fine! You are a good mother and you doing an amazing job with Olivia! Hang in there and hope you get some good rest! By the way... how did you like Twilight?? Have you read the book?
Neva
What's so big about a sippy? Have you tried just a regular cup? I had a little one, that at 6 or 8 months old refused a sippy, but would drink out of a cup. Of course we had to hold it, but heck, with as independent and "I want it my way" as Olivia is, it just may be the ticket. And when you are using a sippy, if it's the kind with a leak guard.. you may want to take it out, til she gets the idea..it'll let what's in come out and she'll get the idea, that good stuff comes from it just like the bottle... just be ready to help and ready to clean up spills.
Also about the mac and cheese... if she eats it, give it to her, but also in saying that, try anything and everything else and use it as a last resort. She's starting to catch up and is definately an "older baby" now who can form her own opinions, and she's learning how to play you... yes, as much as we hate to see our sweet babies as the little stinkers they can be, they are. She's learning that if she refuses enough, she'll get what she wants. Don't let her see it, don't talk about it, don't let on that mac and cheese even exists anymore, but try everything you can. Use foods that have some of the same flavor or texture... I dunno if this is real mac and cheese, or baby food... but if it's the real thing, try pastas with other sauces, veggies or cheese, you can try rice, pieces of soft potato, breads, muffins, yogurt (which, when you find a flavor she likes, you can mix some of her cereal, the pediasure or other things your dr can suggest into) .. if it's baby food, try mixing other foods in with it, like a few mashed veggies, trick her by sneaking in a bite of something else... she'll soon aquire a taste for lots of foods, but they have to be introduced many many times. Just keep trying over and over and over and soon she'll open up to other foods. I'm sure that's why the doctor doesn't want her living on mac and cheese... but she also has to eat..
use your best judgement. You're the Mama, and you know best!
1st - Thanks for getting my daughter out of the house for a little while and inviting her to the movie. She really enjoyed it and it boosted her spirits.
2nd - As a registered nurse, I've found doctors don't know everything. So what I would do is listen to their advise, put it in a big barrel and pull out the advise that works for Olivia. Every child is different as every individual is different. Olivia is progressing and that is a positive sign. You would have more to worry about if you weren't seeing any progressions. So the physical therapist wanted her to do this or that, well guess what she's the one who is suppose to be working with her to help her accomplish those goals. Olivia will get there when Olivia is ready and nobody can push her farther that she is ready for. And what's wrong with Mac-n-cheese???
3rd - I understand about the sleep issue. I go in spurts, so weeks good and some are bad. They told me a 40 minute nap before 2 o'clock will not interfere with you sleep at night and will help you feel refreshed. It might be worth a try.
The bottle thing is pretty stupid in my opinion, what does it hurt for her to have one? I think the doc tried to get my family to wean Niecey before she was even a year old, pretty ridiculous if you ask me.
As for the mac and cheese. I have GI issues, among them is GERD. I have not been eating mac and cheese for quite awhile, the last few times I ate it it made me feel sick. At least one time I vomited it, I normally only reflux my food, it is very rare that I vomit (some people do not think there is a difference, I do). I suspect if the mac and cheese makes her feel sick she would refuse to eat it, though if she is anything like me (not saying she is) it can actually take several hours before something causes reflux/gastritis/discomfort. I've had foods cause me issues 6 hours after eating them (I have delayed gastric emptying). You might want to keep an eye on it, see if there is a pattern of her getting sick a few hours after having mac and cheese or if she just gets sick after eating anything in general. If mac and cheese is a trigger food then discontinuing it likely would be a good idea, the trick of course would be finding its replacement. If it isn't a trigger then I say go for it, that little cutie deserves some indulgences (and of course needs the calories)!
Olivia is so blessed to have parents who love her so much and do everything to help her overcome the obstacles she faces.
Karen
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