Sunday, June 28, 2009 - Update

I can't believe that it has been six years since Ryan and I said "I do." Of course, at that time, we had no idea what life had in store for us. We only knew that, whatever it was, we wanted to experience it together. Boy, what experiences we have had within the past six years! Sometimes it's nice not to know what life has in store for you. But, even if we had known, I have every confidence that we still would have pledged our lives to one another. Thank you, Ryan, for meaning every word that you said. . .even when we didn't know what "for better or worse" truly meant.

You have been committed to being my husband. . .even when faced with the prospect of never being a daddy. You went through everything that was asked of you during our struggle to have a baby. When I faltered. . .you never gave up. I still remember the joy of calling you at work to let you know that you were finally going to be a daddy. I remember the look on your face when the doctor told us that he saw three babies! It was a look of "Uh Oh," but still with a smile and a sparkle in your eye. You mourned with me when we lost Baby B. . .even when others said "thank goodness." You never missed a doctor's appointment with me and you never dismissed my feeling that something was wrong with my pregnancy.

You were there with me at the hospital when they told us that labor couldn't be stopped. I had never seen you cry like that. Your tears conveyed the deep love that you already had for our children. You held my hand when they told me to push. I still remember your words in the silence of the room after Olivia was born. . ."She's moving and she's beautiful." I remember not wanting to leave your side when they whisked me off to deliver Logan by c-section. I remember waking up to your reassuring words that my babies were being taken care of.

You called every morning and every night to check on Olivia and Logan in the NICU. You went to the hospital with me every single day to visit them. I remember how you held our son the night he passed away. Somehow, you were still my rock even though I knew it was just as tough on you. Your love for your daughter is the most amazing thing I have ever seen. You and I are the only ones that truly understand everything that our family has been through. You are such a good daddy and I know that you will be there for Olivia throughout her life. . .just as you are for me. Thank you for always "holding the ceiling up" when the weight has been too much for me to bear.

Of course, we have had less stressful times together as well. We went on a cruise for our honeymoon, had wonderful vacations in Florida, watched as our house became our home, spent our weekends shopping, dining, going to movies, etc. Through good times and bad, I don't feel that your love has ever wavered. I love you even more than that day six years ago when we said "I do." You are my husband and my best friend in the whole world and I love you so much. Happy Anniversary!