Wednesday, March 10, 2010

More Prayers

I was so relieved to hear that Angie is back home and then I heard about Julie and her precious Evan. Julie lost her little girl, Brandy,when she was only 17 months old. A few years later, her little boy, Ryan, was born at 23 weeks. Julie and Ryan gave me so much hope when Olivia was in the hospital also born at 23 weeks. Julie is now 22 weeks pregnant with Evan and her cervix has shortened from 3.3 to 1.3 in just two weeks. This is what my OB suspected was the reason for my premature delivery. Angie and Julie are two of the strongest people I know. After giving birth prematurely and losing a child. . .I don't know if I could physically or emotionally try again. I have trust issues with the medical community. I think some of them have seen so many normal pregnancies, they can't identify when a pregnancy isn't normal. They don't care how long you've tried or what a miracle it is to actually be pregnant. I guess I'm still a little bitter about being sent home from the hospital at 22 weeks when I was so obviously showing signs of premature labor. I wish I knew then what I know now, ya know? A lot of my anger has subsided over the years, but when I hear about problems with someone else's pregnancy. . .it just doesn't seem fair. These people deserve a long, healthy, uneventful pregnancy and I pray with all of my heart that they will.

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