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Park City Utah
2 years ago
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Wednesday, January 15, 2008 - Update
Thank you for all of your words of encouragement and suggestions. The last two days have been a little better. I think it is just a combination of many things getting me down and I'm working on ways to make things better. Does the worry ever go away with a micropreemie? I mean, after RSV season is over, I can't see myself just passing her around to people. Are their immune systems ever similar to full term babies? Is it normal to fear the loss of other people in your life after you've lost someone very special to you? I can't imagine my fears being unfounded, but at the same time. . .I can't live in fear forever.
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3 comments:
Yes, the loss of someone special in your life is hard and takes time for your grief to get better. But you can not live in fear of loosing your loved ones. There are too many wonderful things in your life to live in fear. You are surrounded with lots of love, faith and hope. Take care of yourself too. Change your routine a little, will make you feel better. Take that walk with Olivia, as some have suggested, even if it is cold, or even if it is a short walk. Sometimes even a little fresh air can re-energize you. Olivia is beautiful and is growing so fast. Your pics are GREAT. Thank you for taking the time to share your feelings with us. We love you!
Jodi, right now that fear is trying to take you over. It's a natural thing but you must remind yourself of the blessing you have in your family and even people like me that don't know you except through this blog. God is there for you, let him have your worries. He has the ability to shoulder them more than you. Teach yourself to focus on the day at hand and all it brings to you. Olivia is showing with every new thing she is doing and discovering how great each day is. Can you imagine being her and discoverying all there is for her. She's not worried because she knows Mommy and Daddy (and all her family) is there for her. Jodi, your family is there for you too. And most of all your "Heavenly Father" is too. It's ok to worry, but don't forget to enjoy.
Honestly, I think that what we've gone through changes us. In some ways for the better--we become more patient, more open-minded, probably better advocates for our kids, could pass a few exams in med school. In some ways, though, I do think that the fear doesn't quite ever go away. You prioritize your fears--I am less afraid of Hallie falling down while walking than I am of her contracting RSV, for example. And you choose at some points to take some risks (and hope to heck you are not risking too much). But there's a lot of PTSD involved in what we've been through. And I don't think that that ever goes away completely. That said, taking care of yourself is a good idea (which reminds me that I need some sleep, too!)
Olivia and her little lambie are gorgeous, by the way!
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