Thursday, October 16, 2008

Memories


You look closely at the picture and then a movie plays in your head. - Rebekah Glunt, age 6.

I've been thinking a lot lately about memories, so when Laura referred to this comment that Rebekah had made, I had to include it. People always say, "You'll always have the memories," but what does that really mean?

When we were driving out to the pumpkin patch over the weekend, we drove through Andover where I lived for two years. Those were some of the happiest times of my life. I had my own apartment, I met Ryan, I got engaged, I planned my wedding, etc. While driving past my old apartment, a lot of those memories came back. Memories are truly something that no one can ever take away from you.

I'm thankful for the memories that I have of Logan. I look at his pictures and it brings me back to his little corner in the NICU. I'm so glad that we have the pictures of him that we do. The other night I realized that many of the memories that I have of him are not happy memories. How could they be when I watched him struggle so? That was the most difficult time of my life. But yet, there are still happy memories that bring a smile to my face. I remember seeing his little heart beat for the first time. I remember watching him and Olivia jump around at my 12 week ultrasound. I remember when they told us that he was a boy and we instantly knew that he was our Logan. I remember patting the left side of my belly to tell Logan that I loved him and the right side to tell Olivia that I loved her. I remember thinking how handsome of a little boy he was. I remember reading to him in the NICU and falling more in love with him every day. All I have left are the pictures and the memories. Thank you, my sweet boy, for those precious memories. They truly do play like a movie in my head and one that I want to watch over and over.

4 comments:

HansonTriplets said...

I can not believe Olivia was not approved for the shots. You would think any micropreemie would at least be approved until 2 years old. To tell you the truth I thought for sure that my kiddos would not be approved, even Dr. Chavez said he would be shocked if they were. I guess it turns out that the only reason they were approved is because they are multiples. I guess that is the ONLY reason. I am so glad you had such a wonderful time at the pumpkin patch. It looks like a great place and I am looking forward to our visit this Sunday. I really hope that the weather is nice and we can get some decent pictures. I didn't know if you were still planning on going to the NICU reunion or not. If they are feeling ok we will probably take them. I had our NICU nurse Christy come over today and she said she saw your name on the list for RSVP. I would love to see you all again and meet sweet Olivia in person and outside the issolete. ;) I understand though if you decide to keep her away. Take Care, I will keep you in my prayers about the synergist shots. If there is anything I can do let me know.

Devon Rene said...

I'm so glad you have some happy memories of your Logan...

Thank you for sharing your heart.

Anonymous said...

Logan has left a lasting memory for a lot of us, even though we never got to meet him face to face. Keep smiling Jodi!
Marilee

Anonymous said...

Jodi,
It has been a long time since I cried about anything but reading your post this morning with my daughter's words I couldn't help but cry. I feel so blessed that I have two beautiful daughters and that we are building a lifetime of memories. I have never even experienced miscarriage and so many women have. I am so thankful that I too have memories of Logan and of Coleen. They are so precious to me and so are their mothers.
Laura