Friday, September 25, 2009

Logan William

This coming Monday marks 2 years since Logan passed away, so it has been heavy on my heart. Contrary to popular belief, time doesn't heal all wounds. It doesn't get easier. . .just more familiar. Never before have truer words been said. I no longer expect him to be here with us. Not expecting, however, is not the same as not wanting or not needing. There is not a day that goes by where I don't want or need Logan here with us. With the passing of each day, month and year, I discover more milestones that my son will never meet. . .things I will never see him do, things I will never get to do or say. Sometimes I just long to say, "Logan, quit bothering your sister," or "Logan, don't put that in your mouth!" I wonder if he would have squealed with excitement like his sister when I would ask, "Do you want to go outside? Do you want to take a bath with Ernie? Do you want to watch Baby Signing Time?" I miss him. . .two years later, I still miss him. I always will.

7 comments:

Julia said...

I hope it helps to know we all miss him. Sometimes I look out our window at the "Logan tree" and wish he could come over and walk around the path like Olivia. It breaks my heart that the twins aren't walking around holding hands. However, I try to remember I can trust God's wisdom and even, yes, His great love for us.

McTriplet Mommy said...

Thinking of you and your family, Jodi.

Kara

Kerry said...

My heart aches for you and Ryan. I never got to meet Logan, but I'm sure he would have had the same joy for life that Olivia has. Just know that all of your friends and family are thinking of you and missing Logan too.

Holli Taylor said...

I did get to meet and know Logan and he was a gorgeous baby. I can't say that I have personally experienced your pain but I have watched, more times than I care to remember, as parents have endured the loss of a child.

There are some things that never get easier...but I know that Logan was loved beyond measure and beautiful beyond words. Hang in there Jodi. Anyone can endure tragedy and die inside. It takes someone much stronger to endure tragedy and continue to live. Steve and I are thinking of you!

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you and your family, losing a child, baby before you get to bring them home is one of the hardest things that anyone could ever do. Be kind to yourself this weekend and always as you pass these milestones. I will be thinking and praying for ya'll. Tara

Michele said...

My heart is breaking for you. I know the EXACT feelings. I miss my Nick So much it hurts.
Its not fair that our twins dont have their twins to grow up with. My thoughts are with you guys daily.
Logan will never be forgotten, just like Nick wont be forgotten. They were and still are our sons...we are moms of twins...just, one on earth and one in Heaven. Stay strong! (HUGS)!

Don Sailing said...

Thinking of you today... we love you!