Tuesday, September 21, 2010


I got a note home from Olivia’s school today telling me that she cries all day and they were wondering if I had any suggestions for them. She has trouble transitioning and doing tasks on her own. For one, new places and experiences are scary for her. . .I mean, how long did it take us to finally have a good eye doctor experience? Over 2 years. Secondly, she is only 3 (developmentally younger than that.) She hasn’t had school experiences until now. I thought preschool was supposed to help her with that. . .it’s not like she’s coming in an expert at these things. She hasn’t gone to daycare, but she has no trouble pushing mama out the door to stay at grandma and grandpa’s house. She is very good at independent play at home. I hate that people think my child is one that cries all of the time. . .she is a very happy-go-lucky child most of the time. I feel like I’ve failed because school is not going successfully. My one suggestion for them is music. . .sing, sing and sing some more. We have to sing songs in order to get her teeth brushed, hair brushed, etc. I’m still trying to think of other ideas to help them, but it’s hard when I don’t know what the day is like. Maybe they would let me come and observe? Any other suggestions???


lots_of_love_four_kids said...

I will be praying for sweet Olivia as she adjusts and transitions at school.

Anonymous said...

WE had similar issues with Charlie at first going to playgroup/preschool for the infant toddler center here. He has trouble still leaving mommy anytime it's somewhere new that he is not used to (and he even goes to a home daycare for 4 hrs in the morning) What helped us was that there was one teacher from playgroup who was our "case worker" or whatever they call them and she had often been to our house whenever he had PT, OT, ST etc so he knew her and she was very good about keeping him by her side during the whole preschool time. If there is someone who she knows or who can take her on consistently I think that would help. If they have too many kids or can't do that. I would think that they would let you come with her and just be a part of the session for a few times to get her used to it. (some people will tell you to just go cold turkey and make her deal, but I've never been a big fan of kids crying for an hour-if she stopped after 10 min that would be different!) Anyway, that's my 2 cents. I hope it helps. I understand how hard it is to leave them knowing they are going to be in tears!

Anonymous said...

Use a transition schedule board. This would be made up of real pictures that would correspond to what happens next. Cue her "lets check your schedule" Olivia looks at the pic schedule and sees pics representing her day at school. Ex: pic of toilet which represent potty break, outside play equipment representing outside time, etc. After she has completed the pic she pulls it off the schedule and puts it n a finished container and repeats again until she has completed all pic items. This gives her a job to do ALL day! All staff can do this with her "check your schedule" so they can manage all the other children too!

Also, she will take time to adjust....but it is a good idea to stay involved and request volunteer time. This will give u the chance to see how Olivia is managing her day at school. Your experience is as her parent in your home but you have experience with managing a classroom also. After you have observed her at school sit back and think "as a teacher how would I manage this".

Justine said...

Romy won't be starting school for a few more months, so I don't have any experience but I was told that I would be allowed to stay with her for maybe a half hour a day and slowly work it down to 15 minutes, 10 etc. Maybe they'll let you do the same?

We also have a "Daddy doll" that has a picture of my husband for a face. I think perhaps something like that would work for Olivia? Of course with your own face though, they even have ones that you can record your voice to.

Poor sweet Olivia, I hope she can get used to is sooner rather than later.

Justine said...

Here's the link to the dolls:



I would just make sure that you have a schedule set for her so that she knows what will happen, IE today we are going to the park, tomorrow is school...I would try role-playing at home to show her what it could be like. Take turns being teacher and student. Also, dropping her off and leaving as quick as possible can help. I think if you just stick with doing the same thing at drop off time, over and over, it can help. I taught a 2 yr old for 14 month, Cassandra, at a Kindercare and she cried for the first month, then she only cried when her mom dropped her off. When her dad dropped her off he was loving but quick and she never cried. Its anybody's guess but I would pick something and roll with it for a couple of weeks to see if she reacts.

Cristi said...

Maybe she just needs more time. Dont feel like you HAVE to send her if she isnt ready. You could give her more time. It's not failing, its parenting. We make tough decisions.