Sunday, December 4, 2011

Reaching Out To Others

Below is the obituary for my friend’s daughter.

Please just say a prayer for this family.  I remember after Logan died. . .how hard it was just to go to the grocery store.  I remember not fitting into any of my black skirts for the funeral (I had just given birth a month before) but I could not. . .absolutely not. . .go out shopping.  Luckily, I found one I could borrow.  It was like the whole world just continued on while yours felt like it had ended.  No matter what tragedy a person is going through. . .the death of a loved one, a child in the hospital, anything. . .it’s so important to know that other people care.  It’s easy to just assume that the grieving person has a support system and close friends and family.  They most likely do, but that doesn’t mean a gesture, a prayer, a reminder that someone else cares wouldn’t mean the world to them.  After Logan died, I got gifts in the mail from people I had never met!  How amazing is that?  There were people who prayed for my children and didn’t even know them.  Olivia and Logan were on so many prayer lists. . .I doubt I even knew about all of them. 

Not sure what to do for someone who is hurting?  It depends on what they are going through.

Loss of a child?

Purchase a memorial ornament or jewelry in remembrance of their loved one.  This website specializes in making remembrance jewelry and gifts for those who have lost infants or children.  Beautiful.

Here is one of the best books to give to a grieving mother.  With it’s beautiful illustrations, it paints a picture of what it could be like as a child in heaven.  I still can’t get through it without crying.

Baby in the NICU?

Purchase care packages that encourage the parents to take care of themselves.  I did not and I’m paying for it now.  Stress relieving baskets, gift cards, soap and hand sanitizer, home cooked meals would help although nothing can quite take away the overwhelming stress of it all.

If they are in the NICU with a  premature child, the BEST book on the subject is called ‘Preemies.’

What I would love to do is create an organization in Logan’s honor that would deliver care packages to parents in the NICU that includes this book along with many other things to help them through.  Sadly, I think the start up cost would be more than we could handle. 


The best book I have read on the subject that offered me quite a bit of peace was called Hannah’s Hope.  Amazing book following the biblical Hannah and her suffering.  This would be a great gift.

I’m currently reading a book called Trusting God Even When Life Hurts by Jerry Bridges. This might be a good book to give to someone who is hurting. I haven’t gotten too far into it, so I will let you know my verdict.

Simply placing a card in the mail speaks volumes.  We would come home from the NICU and find multiple cards in the mail and they would always bring a smile to our face.  Now, I ask you. . .those that are going through (or have gone through) various trials and tribulations. . .what would be comforting to you in your situation?  Sometimes people just don’t know how to help and fear that they will do the wrong thing.  Truly, what is comforting to one person may not be to another, but you can never go wrong by simply stating that you care about them.  Leave a comment with an idea that has been done for you or that you have done for someone else. 

So, I just ask all of you to reach out to someone in need. No matter what they are going through. . .just show them that you care. Overwhelm them with compassion and love and concern. It will not only change their life, but yours as well.


Anonymous said...

I love this Jodi! I think there actually is an organization that you can order NICU care baskets from (maybe Graham's foundation or something?) You are so right, even a card means so much when you feel like everyone else is moving along with life while your world has crashed. Something our neighbors did for us during Charlie's NICU stay was to mow our yard regularly. They just did it. We never had to ask and it was a HUGE blessing!

Jodi said...

That reminds me of something our neighbors did that meant the world to us. So simple, but I'll always remember it. They put a huge Welcome Home Olivia sign on our garage door. What an amazing thing to come home to!!

Anonymous said...

I found your blog through the Southern Babies blog and I love it. You posted your last post at just the right time. I just had a preemie on 11/30 and I can't wait to order the book you recommended. He is a 34 week preemie not as tiny as yours but is still in NICU. Thanks for all your wonderful posts! I look forward to reading it!