Saturday, May 16, 2009 - Update

My new wheels

What a long day! We purchased a new vehicle today. . .a 2009 Honda CR-V. That's always quite a stressful and exhausting experience because you're always wondering if you got the best deal. A big thanks to my mom (and dad) for watching Olivia all day long. We looked at a few comparable vehicles and the CR-V had everything we were looking for. It was a little hard for me to give up my Civic, but we were really wanting something a bit bigger. I even had to say good-bye to my car (yes, I say good-bye to inanimate objects. . .but I'm not as bad as my dad and his Casio watch "Cassie.") I patted her on the dash and said, "Well, we had some good times." Then, I started thinking. . .let's see. . .you drove me to all of my doctor visits as I tried desperately to become pregnant. You drove me to the hospital when I gave birth at 23 weeks, 1 day. You drove me home from the hospital. . .without my babies. You drove me to the hospital the night I lost my son. You drove me to my son's funeral. You drove me back and forth to the hospital for 105 days. Yes, you drove Olivia home from the hospital, but that was after a grueling 2 hour wait at the eye doctor and we had to drive home in the sleeting rain on slick, icy roads. That was definitely not the homecoming day I was hoping for. Let's see. . then there was the mishap with a relative's car (not my fault) the mishap with the generator (okay, that was my fault) and the grocery cart. Boy, come to think of it. . .we didn't have any good times at all!! I think my Civic "drove" me through some of the darkest days of my life, but at least I'm slowly coming out the other side. It was a great car, though, and its reliability and gave me one less thing to worry about. I look forward to better, brighter days in my new CR-V!

Friday, May 15, 2009 - Update

How cute is she?

Oh. . .glasses and toddlers. That's a battle that most parents don't expect to fight. Honestly, she's pretty good about wearing them. She has good days and bad days.

Happy girl!


I've had to keep from laughing lately. She'll be wearing her glasses and walk out of the room. I'll quickly hear a "clink" noise. . .and then she'll wander back into the room without her glasses.


" La-de-da. . .maybe mommy won't notice."

But, look at that guilty face! Then, I'll go find her glasses with Olivia following close behind me.

"I don't know what happened! They just disappeared off my face!"

Well, at least she knows that she SHOULD be wearing them and that mom and dad think it's important. That's a step in the right direction.

Where'd They Go?

I don't know.

Does anybody know why my links aren't showing up? It really bothers me as this is how I check all of my favorite blogs. The first person who helps me get them back gets 10 points to be used however they wish. (For make believe things of course.) I believe that Stacie is currently in the lead? Thanks for your help!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - Update

Hello everyone!

Ducky? Are you in here?

My new favorite snack. . .dried cranberries!

After Olivia wore her glasses amazingly well on Monday . .Tuesday it was a bit more of a struggle. Nothing is ever quite consistent, I guess. Today, I find myself wondering not only if the glasses are going to work for Olivia, but if counseling is going to work for me. I'm a very introspective person who doesn't really need someone to help me figure out what I'm feeling. If I have questions about something. . . I buy a book on it. I'm supposed to try not to catastrophize things or assume that future outcomes are going to be bad. I realize that I probably do that, but when you've been through one of the worst experiences imaginable, how do you not? When I ask myself, "What's the worst that can happen?" and I know personally what that is, how do I train myself to think more positively? I feel the need to examine every possible outcome to every situation in order to prepare myself for anything. You'd think I would have learned that no matter how hard I try to do that. . .it doesn't help. Giving birth at 23 weeks and losing my son was never an outcome that crossed my mind when I was pregnant with my twins. So, any situation is either 1) never going to be as bad as you imagine it to be or 2) so bad that your mind can't even wrap itself around the possibility. Hmmm. . .that doesn't really help in my quest to stop catastrophizing things.

Anyway, Olivia is doing well. I enjoy watching her play with her toys and toddle around the house. I bought myself some Craisins and found that Olivia loves them. They truly are her new favorite snack and I'm not complaining about that (although they do have quite a bit of sugar.) Speaking of sugar, any advice on brushing a toddler's teeth? We've been using a toothbrush for some time in order to get her used to it. Now that we need to get serious about brushing her teeth, she wants nothing of it. She pushes the toothbrush out with her tongue and I'm having the hardest time brushing her teeth. I can hold her down, but I can't do anything when she pushes the brush away with her tongue. She's getting molars in and I really want to keep them brushed.

Kayleigh Freeman

Many of you have been following Kayleigh's story. She went to be with the Lord last night. My heart is breaking right now for this family. The only comfort is knowing that she is safe and happy and made whole in heaven with my sweet little boy. And, that we'll again be with those who have gone to heaven before us. Our life on earth is but a tiny speck of time, but we'll spend eternity in heaven. Please say a prayer for this precious family. Losing a child a something that no one should ever have to endure.

Monday, May 11, 2009 - Update

I'm wearing my glasses like a big girl!

I'm so proud of Olivia. She has worn her glasses for most of the day today. We took her glasses in this afternoon to be adjusted as they were a bit too big. Now, it's a lot easier for her to keep them on. They no longer keep falling down on her nose.

Her physical therapist and vision teacher came out this morning. Her PT couldn't be happier with her progress and is not coming out again until August. Her vision teacher gave me some suggestions to help keep Olivia's glasses on. She has seen many kids who are not successful with glasses and Olivia is not exhibiting any of those signs. She has every reason to believe that Olivia will start wearing them like a pro and after today. . .I'd believe it. Even if Olivia does have to have a second strabismus surgery, her glasses will help strengthen those muscles to help make the surgery more successful. Please continue to pray for Olivia and her vision.

Insomnia

Well, I'm unable to sleep tonight. I had a headache all day and took an Excedrin too close to bedtime, I guess. Anyway, I thought I'd share what I've been doing at 1:30 in the morning. Kinda fun! Try it out yourself at www.loonapix.com.

Sunday, May 10, 2009 - Update

On this Mother's Day, I am so grateful to be a mother. That's something that I will never, ever. . . . .not even for a second. . .not even when Olivia is a moody teenager. . .take for granted. This is actually my third Mother's Day. I had recently found out that I was pregnant with triplets on my first Mother's Day in 2007. Ryan had a bracelet made for me that had an A, B, and C on it. He also chose the random colors: pink, blue and green. I would later have a girl and a boy in August (birthstone is peridot. . .which is green.) So, this bracelet is very special to me and it will always remind me of my very first Mother's Day.

My mama will never forget how much she prayed and yearned and cried for a child.

She is so grateful to have such a silly girl like me and also for a son who is waiting for her in heaven. Even if she is never blessed with another child to call her mommy. . .she feels more than grateful to have me. I was the answer to mommy's prayer. She must think I'm pretty wonderful.

Okay, now I'm just embarrassed of all this attention.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day

The sweetest sounds to mortals given
Are heard in Mother, Home, and Heaven.
~William Goldsmith Brown

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~Tenneva Jordan

Hundreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn,
Hundreds of bees in the purple clover,
Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn,
But only one mother the wide world over.
~George Cooper

Olivia's First Playdate

Since RSV season is coming to an end and Olivia is in serious need of interaction with other children, we had her first playdate today. Olivia's aunt Laura and her cousin, Rebekah, came over with Cabbage Patch dolls in tow (and I even dug mine out of the basement.) Rebekah is in kindergarten and because she only goes to school in the mornings, it worked out really well for her to spend the afternoon with us. We still have some strict rules as it's really hard to let go of the anxieties that we've had for so long. Handwashing is still a must and one must be healthy along with a healthy household. I think we're going to wait a little longer (end of the month or so) for her to play with the younger cousins and children her age since they can't always tell you if they're not feeling well. I'm hoping that when the rest of the cousins get out of school, they can spend some afternoons with Olivia as well. We had a great time today and you can tell that Olivia just adores Rebekah.

Rebekah and her Cabbage Patch dolls

Playing together

For some reason, in this picture, you can just tell that they are related. It makes me laugh.

Cooking up lunch

Hmm. . .which doll to play with. . .

Thanks, Rebekah, for a ROARRing good time.

Oh, and we found something else that Olivia and Rebekah have in common. They are both getting their molars! Olivia's getting her first molars and Rebekah is getting her 6 year molars. Thanks for a great afternoon and thank you to Laura for these pictures. I'm not sure why I didn't get my camera out.

This Mother's Day. . .

Mother's Day is fast approaching and I know that's a tough day for many people. I remember the heartache of wishing that I could be celebrated on that day. Even before I found out that I had trouble staying pregnant. . .I had trouble getting pregnant. It was only after close to 3 years, countless treatments and procedures. . .did my dream finally come true. Little did I know, but that was just the beginning of another difficult journey. I don't think simply having children makes someone a mother. It's a love, a selflessness, and a desire that makes someone worthy of the title. And, believe me. . .there are countless women out there with that love and selflessness and desire that are trying so hard to have children. They are already sacrificing and in love with the child that they dream and pray about. There are also countless women whose children are in heaven with my sweet Logan. Please know that each year on Mother's Day, I also celebrate all of you.

I have started a new section on my sidebar called Praying For A Baby. If you are traveling down the difficult road of infertility and would like to be added, please send me a link to your blog. I would be happy to add you and continue to pray for you.

My Little Helper

I'll help, mama!

Ooh! Look at this one!

I found one for me!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009 - Update

Uh Oh. . .look what I can do!

Olivia has started getting into everything (and I secretly couldn't be more proud.) Even though she hasn't really noticed them yet, I need to find a different place for my plants since she decided that she can climb onto the fireplace. I have found her toys in my desk drawer and noticed her trying to reach for things on our nightstands. I need to get serious about baby-proofing.

Oh, and I did take her into the doctor yesterday. They just called it another upper respiratory infection. Her lungs sounded good, her oxygen saturation was at 98, ears looked good, etc. That was reassuring to hear. We are using Simply Saline, a humidifier, and Motrin. Her cough has gotten a bit better. Hopefully, all three of us will start feeling better soon.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009 - Update

Do you like my cute bow?

My mom went on and on about how cute I looked.

At least people will stop calling me a boy!

Well, I'm sort of in the blogging mood again. I'm not sure what happened, but I didn't want every post to be about how bad I felt, so. . . I figured I should take a break. I had to share these adorable pictures of Olivia! Any idea where I can purchase more hair clippies for her? Things are going good here, even with Olivia's runny nose and awful cough, Ryan's awful cough and my sore throat and headache. I'm not sure what's wrong with all of us, but Olivia will probably make a trip into the doctor today. She coughs so much (especially at night) that she throws up. I'll let you know what we find out at the doctor.

Olivia is walking all over the place and is able to pull herself to a stand all by herself. She loves playing in her crib when she wakes up in the morning. There is nothing sweeter than hearing her talk to her stuffed animals in the morning. This morning, we realized that she can reach the table by her crib and had the Desitin in with her, so we'll have to start watching that. She has also started signing "more" and can tell you where her nose and her toes are. It seems she has started learning something new every day.

Just Some Pics

Come on, mom. Let's go to the zoo!

I'll drive!


The Glunt girls (Julia, Rebekah and Olivia)


Betcha can't pat your head and make a fist at the same time!

I'm a BIG girl!

Sunday, May 3, 2009 - Update

But, I wasn't done with our walk. . .

Just when I start believing that I haven't lost my mind, I go out in public like this. Oh, they're the same color. . .just two entirely different shoes!

As many of you know, I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue about 6 months ago. I have been on multiple supplements as well as hydrocortisone during that time. I was told that it could take up to 2 years to see improvement because of the severity. Some days I feel okay, other days I feel pretty hopeless. . .like it’s never going to get better. The two major factors that tend to lead to adrenal fatigue are emotional stress and diet. I haven’t quite found a way to properly deal with everything that has taken place over the past 20 months, so I decided to begin seeing a therapist (after much coaxing from friends, family and doctors.) My therapist just so happens to be very knowledgeable about adrenal fatigue because she was diagnosed with it 7 years ago. She has only begun feeling better within the last year and that was after dealing with her food sensitivities and allergies, a large component of adrenal fatigue. I have long suspected that I have some food sensitivities/allergies. My therapist had to give up dairy and gluten and only after that, did her energy return. When your body is sensitive or allergic to a food, your adrenal glands pump out cortisol to combat it. When you react to stress in a negative way, your adrenal glands also pump out cortisol to combat it, which further exhausts them. Like anything that is overworked, your adrenals succumb to the exhaustion and can no longer keep up with the demand. The only way to deal with overworked adrenal glands, is to allow them to rest, which is why I’m on supplemental cortisol. I am also not supposed to get overly stressed (yeah, right) or do anything that makes my adrenal glands work too hard. Even vigorous exercise is not beneficial when your adrenal glands aren’t functioning properly because it makes them attempt to pump out even more cortisol. It’s sort of like trying to squeeze blood from a turnip.

I’m determined to feel better because I want Olivia to have a happy, energetic mother. My therapist thinks that she can help me. She also thinks that I might need help dealing with a bit of post-traumatic stress. I would think anyone who gave birth extremely prematurely or lost a child would deal with this as well. That still leaves my diet, which is something that I have to figure out how to do on my own. I know that bread does not make me feel very well, but I don’t know if it’s the gluten or the yeast. There is a blood test, I believe, that tells you exactly what you are allergic or sensitive too. I hear it’s quite expensive, though, and insurance doesn’t pay for it. I know that I have to do something about my complete lack of energy in order to do the things in life that I wish to do. Hopefully, I’m on the right track, but I could use some prayers along the way.

So, why am I telling you all this? Well, besides the fact that we’re all friends, right? It’s hard to feel like you are the only one experiencing a hardship or needing a counselor. Many of us tend to go through life with a fake smile on our face. . .not realizing that our struggles could help someone else. (Granted, a fake smile is better than no smile at all.) Many of you have been there for me and I want to be there for you. . .whether it’s because of infertility, premature birth, infant death, adrenal fatigue, etc. Or, just as a friend.

I’m still taking a bit of a blogging break, so I probably won’t have another post up right away. I promise I will try to take some pictures again soon. Olivia and I are both either really bothered by allergies or both of us are sick. . .again. I only hope she doesn’t feel as miserable as I do right now.

A Short Break

I've decided to take, what will hopefully only be, a short break from the blogging world. I need some time to regroup. I still miss Logan horribly. I still haven't figured out how to deal with the loss of my son while also being there 100% for my daughter. Just when I seem to gain a foothold, I always fall back down and I get so very tired and sad. Thanks to all of you for your continued support. I will leave you with some pictures of Olivia (to tide you over.)

Monday, April 27, 2009 - Update

Looking a bit disheveled

Don't we all feel a bit disheveled from time to time? Although I don't look nearly as cute. . .

At the suggestion of Olivia's speech pathologist, we put most of her toys away. We are only leaving two toys out at a time. It was hard to get Olivia to focus on one thing when she had so many choices available. If something would get too hard, she would just go on to something else. Also, by putting the toys up, she has to learn to ask for stuff and point instead of having it at her fingertips. Having a teaching degree, I'm a little disappointed that I didn't catch onto this myself, although we'll see if it helps. It has helped our living room look more like a living room. Olivia did, however, find her toys stashed behind the chair and crawls back there from time to time. She seems to appreciate that I help her choose which toys to play with for the day as I rotate them in and out. Of course, she still has the playroom downstairs that looks like Toys R Us where she can go crazy. . . I gotta quit buying her stuff.

Sunday, April 26, 2009 - Update

Every day, I am so amazed by Olivia. She is doing so many big girl things. We put some of her favorite stuffed animals in her crib and now, in the mornings when she wakes up, we hear her playing with them. She carries them around her crib and talks to them. I made the mistake of putting her laughing/talking Elmo in there last night. Nothing like waking up to the laughs of Elmo coming through the monitor. As I mentioned before, she places items into containers and is attempting to stack blocks. She drinks out of a straw like a big girl and loves apple juice and strawberry milk. We're meeting our milestones. . .one step at a time. She is amazing!!

Oh, and be sure to vote in the latest poll!