Thursday, October 11, 2007

Thursday, October 11, 2007 - Update

Thursday must be our lucky night as daddy got to hold his little girl tonight (I figured I should share her.) It was wonderful. It’s so amazing to see the love that Ryan has for his daughter. He is such a wonderful dad. Olivia did get to start her feedings again today at 2.4cc every 3 hours. They will continue her on the IV fluids until she is back up to full feeds. She also weighs a whopping 2 lbs 5 oz!!! And have I mentioned how beautiful she is? They’ve kept her vent settings the same and her oxygen has run anywhere from room air (21%) to 30%. She is an amazing little girl.

I shared a poem with Stacie that was given to me by one of the nurses tonight. This particular nurse mentioned that she lost a daughter and has had 5 miscarriages. I don’t understand why any of us have to go through this. This poem “A Child Loaned” made me realize that our children are never truly ‘ours.’ God just loans them to us for awhile. I wish with all of my might that I would have been able to be with Logan for a lot longer, but I know that I’ll be with him again. I’ll be with him for eternity someday in heaven. It’s still hard for me to understand. I see adorable little boys all around me and I wonder what Logan would have been like. Would he have been shy or silly? Would he have had Ryan’s eyes or my smile? I still struggle with this everyday. Everyone talks about what an inspiration I am, but what they don’t know is that I have to sleep all of the time just to cope. It makes the time go by quickly and it takes me away from reality for awhile. I basically spend my day in bed or with Olivia. Hopefully, that gets better someday because I have so many things that I need to get done. I have to finish the nursery sometime to prepare for Olivia’s homecoming. That will be such a joyous day!! Please continue the prayers for all of us!


Anonymous said...

Yay Ryan! Jodi, that was very thoguhtful of you to share. Oh, my goodness the pictures are so wonderful. I love looking at them! It makes me happy. Wow! Your little girl is certainly getting big! How exciting! That poem was beautiful!
Jodi, if you ever need anything, and I mean it, please don't hesitate to call me or my mom. We would love to help in anyway! To feel that I contributed in some way would make me feel so good. I love you and your family and I just wish that I could do something more, than just type on this blog. (Even though I love doing it, it just doesn't seem to be enough.) Please.
Love you all
Stay Strong,

Anonymous said...

I felt much the same after my father passed away. I think that is a very normal response to such tremendous grief and stress. I remember the chaplain telling me that it could take three years or more to recover from my father's death. At the time, I couldn't even comprehend what he was saying, but he was absolutely correct. In fact, I still feel sad sometimes when I think of him, almost twenty years later. I rather imagine that it will be much the same in your situation, so I would be more concerned if you said you were doing just fine. It will get easier to handle little by little. Just remember that you still have Olivia and each other and all your friends and family.

We are still praying for you all daily. God bless and comfort you.

Rick Whitehill