Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Their Birth Story Part II

After my water broke, my contractions got really bad and I didn't have so much as a Tylenol. I actually remember asking for pain meds and they just sort of ignored me. I'm not ashamed. . .I hate pain. I'm the same person who, while pregnant and throwing up in the bathroom and miserable with a horrible sinus infection. . .came crawling into the bedroom crying, "Help me!" Hey, at least I waited until after Ryan's alarm went off in the morning.

It was then that the doctor rambled off all the things that could go wrong with my babies. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't care. . .I loved my babies with all of my heart. I would handle whatever God would bless me with. . .I just wanted my babies. They kept asking us what we wanted to do for them. We just shouted, "Everything!! Do everything! We want what's best for the babies!" I don't know how many times we shouted that. There was nothing to think about or consider. We wanted our babies to have every chance possible. Another blessing was that I was at the hospital so that they could have immediate care. Had I been anywhere else. . . they wouldn't have had a chance.

I remember when they started telling me to push. What? I hadn't gotten that far in my pregnancy book. . .I mean, I had just passed the halfway point. So, I pushed like they do in the movies. Three pushes later. . .Olivia Paige was born.

She was born on August 27, 2007 at 6:18 pm. She weighed 1 lb 1.5 oz and was 11.5 inches long. She was bruised and battered, her skin was almost transparent and her eyes were still fused shut. They didn't wrap her in a blanket and hand her over to her anxiously awaiting mommy. We didn't even get to hear our baby cry. At 23 weeks, her lungs were not that developed. There were no first pictures together, no video of our smiling faces. I didn't feel like the mother of a precious baby girl. . .I felt like a mother who had just lost her child. I caught a glimpse of her out of my eye before they rushed her away. Ryan said, "She's moving and she's beautiful." I kept those words with me.

I had to keep myself composed because I had another baby to deliver. Logan was breech, but they were going to try to turn him and deliver him as well. With Olivia no longer in the womb, Logan must have relished the additional leg room because he turned sideways. They said they would have to do an emergency c-section. And, just like that. . .they rushed me out of the room and Ryan was left in there all by himself. Yet, another reason that I'm thankful that my family was there. Of course, my parents and brother had only stepped out of the room for a quick examination and were probably discussing my long hospital stay ahead. I would have gladly replaced my babies' hospital stay with my own. My family had to watch the alarms go off, the incubators and doctors rushing into my room. My parents didn't even know if something was wrong with me and they thought they were losing their grandchildren. I passed them on the way to the operating room. Again, I just stared at them. I couldn't reassure them and tell them that I was okay, because I wasn't. Ryan wasn't okay. Olivia wasn't okay and neither was Logan. This wasn't supposed to happen. . .they weren't due until Christmas and here we were in the heat of the summer. I wasn't expecting to go full term with twins, but I thought maybe Thanksgiving or, worst case scenario, it might be as early as Halloween.

I remember getting to the operating room and they placed a mask over me after another bad contraction. They told me that would be the last one I felt. . .and that's all I remember.

To Be Continued. . .


Anonymous said...

ohh Jodi,

You are an amazing person and I want you to know that you, Ryan and Olivia are in my thoughts and prayers, you have a great thanksgiving with your family and remember that your story has touched so many lives and I'm thankful to be able to read this blog and to see How amazing our Lord is.

God is awesome:)

Anonymous said...

i just find it incredible that a baby can be completely formed at such a young stage, but yet so completely under developed and then continue to develop outside of the womb to be the perfect little girl she is today - well done you!