Monday, January 19, 2009 - Update

It was a nice day outside and Ryan was off work. My nieces and nephews were out of school, so we all headed to the zoo. The weather was a little chillier than we anticipated, so we left after about an hour. Olivia had a good time getting outside, eating her snacks and looking at some of the animals. It was really nice to see all of the kids. Thanks, Katie, for inviting us.

Olivia and her snacks
Look, it's a horse!
The little ones: Izzy, Kaleb and Olivia
Izzy and her wagon
Alex, Katie, Aidan, Kim, Kaleb and Grandma Mary

Sunday, January 18, 2009 - Update

Our beautiful miracle.

Ryan and I had a great time today (and I think Olivia had a great time at Grandma and Grandpa's.) After we dropped her off, we drove to lunch. . .talking about Olivia. We spent our time at Cracker Barrel. . .talking about Olivia. We then drove to New Market. . .talking about Olivia. We went to Borders. . .to buy new books for Olivia. Our day had a common theme, as you can tell. One of the highlights of our day was the sale at Bath and Body Works on foaming hand sanitizers. We also bought new towels for our bathroom! Yes, pretty boring, but it's nice to have uneventful days together outside the house. I think this was our third or fourth date together since Olivia came home in December 2007. I think what made it even more enjoyable is not worrying about Olivia's food intake. She's been eating spectacular. . .20+ ounces per day! So, either the Prilosec is liquid gold or those two teeth (that finally came in) have been bothering her for 2.5 months. Either way, I'll enjoy it while I can. Hopefully, Ryan and I can enjoy more time together in the future as well.

Guess What I Did?

Time for mom and dad to lower the crib!

We've been waiting and waiting for Olivia to pull herself up in her crib. Tonight, I went into the bathroom to get her toothbrush and I came back to find this! Because it took her so long to use her arms, she doesn't have a lot of strength built up in them. (She still doesn't push up to her hands to crawl. . .she crawls on her forearms.) She's working hard every day, though, and we were thrilled that she did this tonight. Ryan lowered her crib and Olivia thought it was a little odd. Hopefully, she sleeps okay tonight. She has also started taking steps while only holding on to us with one hand. What a big girl!

Home Sweet Home

This weekend marks 5 years since we moved into our house. I can't believe it's been that long. I thought I would share some pictures of our house being built. It was a very exciting and carefree time in our lives.

Ryan filming from his dirt pile.

We must have been excited when our bathtubs came in.

I enjoyed looking back at old pictures and they'll be fun to show Olivia someday. This weekend, Ryan and I are planning a date together. So, I guess we'll be celebrating this anniversary by getting OUT (and as far away as possible) from our house.

Thursday, January 15, 2009 - Update

Olivia running down the hall with grandma!
Olivia running out of the bathroom.

First, I just wanted to say thank you to my mother-in-law for everything she did for me today. You are amazing! I needed the rest and I appreciate my husband for convincing me that I did. I'm always honest on here, so I'll just tell you that I've been struggling quite a bit lately. . .depression, fatigue, anxiety. . .you name it, I've probably felt it. No one can seem to help me understand why I have so much trouble getting out of bed. Yes, my adrenal glands are toast and it could take 2 years to heal them. I know that, but what am I supposed to do in the meantime? Why could I literally sleep 24 hours a day and still be tired? Why do I miss Logan so much some days that I can't stop sobbing? All I've ever wanted to be is a mother and now that I am, I feel too tired to enjoy it. It makes me angry. Every night before I go to bed, I tell myself. . .no matter how tired I am tomorrow, I'm going to fight through it and be energetic for Olivia because she deserves that. And, every morning I wake up in a fog and can barely get through the day. Yesterday when Olivia and I got up from our nap, I had to take an Excedrin and tell Olivia to give me 10 minutes so that I could get up. I hate this. I want to be the best mother that I can be and this isn't it. I would give anything for an ounce of energy. Anyway, if my posts become a bit sporadic or if I don't return my emails as promptly as before. . .you know why.

I've Been Tagged

I was tagged by Cristi. What I am supposed to do is show you my fourth picture in my fourth folder and tell you about it. It looks like we caught Olivia NOT smiling. This is her "I'm tired of you taking pictures. . .I just want to ride my pony look." Not surprising, however, that it was a picture of Olivia on her pony.

I'm tagging:

AnnMarie - Coy's Mom
Stacie - Madison's Mom
Candice - Rhys's Mom
Ann - Jaxson's Mom

Wednesday, January 14, 2009 - Update

What to do. . .what to do. . .
Okay, come and get me now, please.

Olivia is still very wary of standing on her own or walking around furniture. I actually think she could probably do it, but she needs the security of your fingers. That's okay. . . we continue to work on it. I'm so proud of her successes each day. It's amazing to watch her learn and you can just see that lightbulb go on when she gets something. The other day there was a telephone in a book and she automatically looked down at the phone on the floor. She is so engrossed in her books. Last night, Ryan and I got a little "book happy" and ordered her quite a few more books on Amazon. She loves the Sandra Boynton books and, of course, her Llama llama books. I was so excited to learn that a new one is coming out in March called "Llama llama misses mama." She definitely has her preferences. If she doesn't feel like a certain book, she will just close it in the middle of the story, toss it on the floor and look over the chair for another one. I'm so glad that books are important to her.

New Songs

Some new songs were added to the playlist. I had to add Olivia's favorite song. . .betcha can't guess which one it is. :)

Tuesday, January 13, 2009 - Update

Just walkin my puppy.

We had her GI appt this morning. It went well. She has an upper GI scheduled for next month. Hopefully, that will answer some of our questions and help her get any additional treatment needed.

Monday, January 12, 2009 - Update

This is where I sit and cry while mama eats breakfast.

Doesn't that just break your heart? Olivia doesn't like to play on the floor by herself. She doesn't like to crawl. She only crawls to get near me so that she can hold onto my hands and walk around the house. We must walk miles a day. . .you'd think she'd tire out but she doesn't. It makes it difficult to get anything done with a little girl attached to your leg. The only way I get the blog updated is because of Baby Signing Time. She likes to read stories. . .we read a lot of stories during the day. We have a lot of books, but it still feels like we read the same ones over and over. I wish I could find more things that she likes to do. Is it spring yet? We're both going crazy!

Sunday, January 11, 2009 - Update

I wanted to say congratulations to my parents. It was on this day 40 years ago (40!!) that they met on their blind date. Of course, my dad is currently fighting off a cold so they are just relaxing at home. But, I hope they have a great day today.

I'm afraid that we might later regret it, but for right now it's working out great. Olivia has been waking at 4 am for a bottle. She takes a bottle fabulously in the middle of the night and last night managed to suck down 6 oz! It's great to start the day off with that under your belt. Of course, it would be nice to sleep through the night again.

Sponsor Me at March for Babies!

Click on the banner below to donate to our team and/or sign up for the walk on April 18th!

Saturday, January 10, 2009 - Update

Mama wishes she had my energy. I like to go, go, go!

When I decided to be a stay-at-home mom, I didn't mean it in quite such a literal sense. I'm going out of my mind this winter. Last winter, I think I was so happy to be home and not up at the hospital every day that it didn't bother me quite as much. But, this year. . .talk about cabin fever. It doesn't help that I have yet to beat this fatigue. I'm getting so frustrated and I'm starting to rely on caffeine again, which is a big no-no for me. Truth is. . .Excedrin and iced tea make me a better mother. I hate going through the day feeling like I'm in a big fog and only "half-alive." It's awful. I have learned that when you go over 2 months without a Pepsi, it begins to lose it's appeal. Not my Sonic iced teas, though, for 73 cents during happy hour. Ryan took care of Olivia all day and sent me out of the house. I spent some gift certificates and did some shopping and it was nice.

As I mentioned last month, the March of Dimes "March for Babies" is coming up on April 18th. Last year, I was so gung-ho about it. I don't know where I got the energy. I must have still been in survival mode. I believe that clicked off sometime around last summer when I fell flat on my face. March for Babies is, however, very important to me. Please be thinking about whether you will be able to donate to the Olivia and Logan team and/or whether you would like to walk on our team. We'd love love love to have you. I know that economic times are tough, but even a $5 donation would be very appreciated. If anyone has any ideas where to have t-shirts made (online or in town?) I'd love to hear from you. I'm sure I'll pull this all together this year as well. . .I hope.

Friday, January 9, 2009 - Update

I got a new friend yesterday.
I love her!

Her name is Sophie la girafe (it's French.)

It is gorgeous outside today and Olivia and I enjoyed getting out for some fresh air. We're taking a quick break for some Baby Signing Time and a bottle and then we might head back out. These are the kinds of days when I wish we had a swing set.

How was there a giraffe that I didn't know about. . .especially one that's been around for 40 years? Olivia seems to like her. . .especially when she squeaks. I wish I would have gotten it for her sooner. Olivia still has lots of teeth waiting to wreak havoc on our lives, so hopefully this helps.

Prayers for Angie

Angie is Bennett and Ellie's mom. I have felt such a connection and friendship with her. She, too, suffered with infertility, gave birth to twins prematurely and lost her precious son. Our daughters give us both strength and peace. This week, Angie was told that she has cystic fibrosis. I have learned a lot about that disease through Nate Lawrenson's blog and am grateful for people like him who spread awareness to so many people. It's frightening that CF would go undiagnosed until adulthood (but, also a good sign that it has been managed throughout her life.) Please say a prayer for Angie and her precious family. She is an incredibly strong woman who has been through a lot, but will continue to persevere.

Thursday, January 8, 2009 - Update

It's very important to. . .oh, wrong way. . heehee
It's very important to brush your teeth.

Don't forget!

For a little girl who doesn't like a lot of things in and around her mouth, she doesn't have a problem with letting me brush her teeth. Of course, sometimes I have to sing a song (singing also works well with nail clipping.) Afterwards, I let her play with her toothbrush and she actually attempts to brush them herself.

Oh, and a bit of good news. Our baby scale has always been very accurate, but lately it has not been giving us a consistent reading. So, we don't really know how much she weighs, but we do believe it is over 17 lbs (not 16 lbs.) That made me breathe a little sigh of relief. Every day this week, she has taken more in her bottles. . .today we were up to 19.5 oz! Of course, we had to implement a rule that if she wakes up in the middle of the night, she gets a bottle. I can usually get 3-4 more ounces in her that way and it doesn't really take any more time than rocking with her. I do believe that she needs some feeding therapy, so hopefully that can be implemented soon. What sounds so simple (using a sippy cup, straw, eating certain foods) is incredibly difficult.

I also wanted to make sure that you visited The Glunt Quartet to see what cousin Rebekah made in school. I tell ya, Olivia has the most amazing cousins. . all of them are so thoughtful and caring and just all around incredible people. I love you all!!

Exciting News

I have some exciting news to report. Many of you may remember Nurse Holli who took care of Olivia while in the NICU.

Here's Nurse Holli when she came to visit Olivia after she'd come home.

Holli is one of the nurses who followed us up to Special Care. We grew very attached to Holli and hope that we keep in touch for years to come. She was the nurse who was with us when we were discharged and walked us out to our car. Many tears were shed. Holli and her husband have been trying for a baby for many years. After countless prayers and with the help of Dr. Tjaden (gotta love that man) I am happy to announce that she is expecting!! Please continue to keep her in your prayers. I'll never forget that before my difficult NICU journey, I understood all to well the pain of infertility. My hope is to someday announce the good news of all my blog readers who suffer with infertility. There are definitely miracles all around us. . .sometimes we just don't see them. Holli, we are thrilled for you. You will make a wonderful mother!

So much for being stress-free. . .

We weighed Olivia tonight. When she went to the doctor last week, she weighed 17 lbs 10 oz. On Sunday we weighed her and she was 17 lbs 5 oz. Today (only 3 days later) she is barely 16 lbs!! She has lost over a pound in 3 days!!! I'm thinking it's probably just a delayed to reaction to how little she ate for awhile there. I just keep telling myself. . .she's happy, she's healthy, she doesn't seem hungry. . .she must be eating enough. If she were, however, I don't think she would be losing that much weight. What in the world am I doing wrong? Do I just need to let her gnaw on a stick of butter? This is so frustrating. . . .

Wednesday, January 7, 2009 - Update

I think this is better than smiling.
And I saw a model do it in a magazine once.

Some days Olivia just cracks me up. Instead of smiling like she usually does when I take her picture. . .these were the faces she made. Her favorite game to play is when she holds onto our fingers and walks around the house. She likes to look at things and have you tell her what it is. Then, you can ask where something is and she gets so excited to show it to you. Sometimes the results are unexpected. We are currently learning the rooms of the house and, while in the bedroom, I asked her where the kitchen was. She confidently strolled down the hallway and led me to HER kitchen. I guess I should be more specific. Then, because of the over-achiever that I am, I thought we would learn carbon monoxide detector. . .ya know, just to show off. But, whenever I ask where it is. . . .she happily leads me to her CAR. It seems she doesn't pay attention to the . . .bon monoxide detector part. Yes, it's a fun game until you've walked into the bathroom for the 50th time repeating scale, vent, toilet. . .

Her eating has been a bit better lately. She only takes 12-15 oz of formula per day, though, and we've decided if that's all she wants. . .that's fine. I do think the Prilosec is helping a lot better than the Prevacid did. We are grateful for that and are much happier around here. She's consistently taking 4 oz per bottle instead of 1-2 oz. Olivia definitely keeps us on our toes and laughing daily.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009 - Update

Suzy Bear and Olivia

When I was a child, I never sucked my thumb. . .I never had a pacifier or a blankie. . .I had my Suzy Bear. I used to think that a Suzy Bear was a female teddy bear, but then I learned that Suzy was the name I picked for her when I was 2. If I could have had just one toy growing up, it would have been her. I think I even worked her into my fire escape plans and always took her down to the basement during a tornado warning. Ryan and I were organizing our storage room over the weekend (and he discovered that I'm truly a pack rat) and I found her in one of the boxes. I thought that she needed to come out and live in the play room. She's definitely seen better days, but she was very loved.

Prayers for Baby Miranda

Another 23 weeker was born this week. . .sweet little Miranda Rae. As you all know, this family has a long road ahead of them. Please keep them in your prayers and surround them with love and support.

Monday, January 5, 2009 - Update

Olivia's physical therapist was thoroughly impressed by her this morning. Actually, I don't know if she had one negative thing to say. In a few months, we may be able to get rid of the physical therapist altogether. She couldn't believe how well Olivia gets around on the pony. Her word association skills blew her away as well. I truly believe that Olivia just doesn't want to be a baby anymore and she's frustrated by the things that she can't yet do. If you think about it, she's been a baby longer than most. She spent the first many, many months of her life unable to do much more than lay around. She is now ready to go, go, go. She wants to walk so badly, but just can't do it without holding on to our fingers or riding her pony. We'll keep trying.

Me and my puppy
Woof, woof

Now, let's see. . .was it 10 and 2?

A Day In The Life of Olivia

Sarah M. had a great idea. She suggested that I write down everything that was offered and everything that Olivia eats to take to the GI specialist on the 13th. I thought I would share with you everything that she ate today.

Mom and dad don't think I eat enough.
Tell me what you think.

8:00 am - 4 oz of formula

9:30 am Breakfast- 2 bites of a banana, 6 Lil' Crunchies, 4 bites of oatmeal, 8 Cheerios, 6 puffs, 2 bites of peach cobbler, 1/4 of a piece of buttered toast, 2 sips out of sippy cup.
I would eat Lil' Crunchies, Cheerios, puffs and crackers all day if I could.

But, they won't let me!

11:00 am - 2 oz of formula

1:00 pm Lunch - 1/2 jar of Gerber 2nd foods Sweet Potatoes, 4 Lil' Crunchies, 8 yogurt drops, 1/2 oz of vanilla ice cream.

3:15 pm - 3 oz of formula

4:00 pm - 8 Lil' Crunchies, 1/2 Wagon Wheel, 1 bite of string cheese
6:00 pm Dinner - 1/2 Wagon Wheel, small bite of cheese, 1.5 Club crackers, 1/3 jar of mac-n-cheese, 5 yogurt drops

7:30 pm - 3 oz of formula

8:15 pm - 5 bites of French toast, 1/2 jar Gerber 2nd foods sweet potatoes, handful of Puffs and Cheerios.

No more pictures or food, please.

One last pose. . .but, that's it.

So, she only took a total of 12 oz of formula for the day and not really any real drinks in between bottles. She is currently at 17 lbs 5 oz (down from 17 lbs 10 oz last week.) I'm done stressing over it. I'm going to let her take what she wants out of her bottle and offer her many different types of food throughout the day. She normally doesn't eat as many times during the day, but we've become a bit desperate. Our household stress level has just skyrocketed and I hate that. Olivia is a very happy child overall. If she was starving, you'd think she'd be a bit more cranky. I'm going to just stop worrying about it and see what the GI says next week. Thanks for allowing me to vent and ramble on at times. :)