I thought I would attempt to write an update tonight. I have never felt such sadness and pain. I didn’t know that it was possible to literally feel your heart breaking. Logan is so very missed. He was the son that Ryan and I had dreamed of all our lives. Somehow, however, I am able to find glimpses of peace and comfort. I find it in my husband’s embrace and in my daughter’s beautiful eyes. I find it in the love and support of family, friends and even strangers. I find it in the hugs of my nieces and nephews. I know that we must continue on for our daughter, Olivia. She deserves to have parents who teach her about the goodness of God and whose hearts aren’t filled with bitterness.
I was scheduled to begin kangaroo care with Olivia today and looked forward to holding her in my arms. Sadly, I was unable to today. She had an apnea and bradycardia earlier in the day that prevented me from doing so. But, that’s okay. . .I don’t want to rush her. She’ll let us know when the time is right. She still got her story and hand hugs and is doing well. She grows more beautiful every time I see her. They have begun the caffeine therapy again in preparation for the day that she gets off the ventilator. That is the goal that we are working towards right now. Her breathing tube is actually getting too small for her. They are hoping it can be removed versus replacing it with a bigger one. Again, we don’t want to rush her.
I want to thank you all again for your love and support. It is very much needed at this time. Please always remember Logan and continue praying for Olivia. We need to have her home with us. These were written on tags attached to two of the stuffed animals.
Loved by all
Olivia’s brother
Gone to be with God
Always in our hearts
Not forgotten
One beautiful girl
Logan’s sister
Innocent
Very special
In our hearts
Angel
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Park City Utah
2 years ago
7 comments:
OXOXOXoxoxoxoxoxox
Hugs and Kisses from Colorado.
MJ
Your Faith and courage were the main topic of our Prayer Fellowship meeting tonight. You and Logan and Ryan and Olivia have touched so many hearts. God is using this time for His Glory. And He is using you all as examples of what He wants us to live like. Trusting Him, no matter what. Mary and Ed
Our prayers continue for you and Ryan and Olivia. Know that Logan is in good hands and many who are missed and loved are looking after him, embracing him and loving him in heaven.
He will be missed and forever loved. Olivia has a wonderful family to look after her, love her and raise her in the eye of our Lord. You are all truly blessed and loved.
Hillary Tribble
Good Morning! It's another beautiful day and here's hoping that "maybe" this is the day that you will be able to start the "Kangaroo Care" with beautiful little Olivia. I just know that this will be a blessing for all of you. It's amazing to me that there seems to be some kind of animal connection with various animals of God. Now, there is the Kangaroo Care and this just sounds totally awesome. Jodi & Ryan, I know that your hearts are just so anxious to get started with this program. Olivia is truly blessed to have the both of you as her parents! I'm sure that little Logan is in heaven and showing others His Mom & Dad and His little sister, Olivia. Don't you know that he is proud! All of you are still in my prayers and I ran across this little saying that was written just on some plain paper in my Bible - When the things around you make you want to hide, remember, God gave HOPE to keep a smile inside! Remember that you are loved and you are constantly in my prayers.
Mary Anne
Hello everyone!
Jodi and Ryan you're keeping such a positive and understanding attitude towards this situation.
One day after school I was talking to my mom and I was in such a bad mood. I told her that I had had a real bad day. She said was it truely bad? Think of it like this..
"So this guy hasn't noticed you, you forgot your homework, and your friends aren't talking to you. Ok, yeah that's bad but think of what Jodi's going through."
And my purple light bulb finally came on, and I thought...Oh my gosh! There are worst things that could happen in life then me forgeting my homework. I didn't have to bury my son today, or go and pray that tommorrow my daughter would be there smiling at me. No, I'm worried about homework. After this conversation I have looked at the question-
"How was your day?" and really thought about it.
Oh shoot! Wrong button!! I wasn't done yet! (ugh! lots of sighs)
Ok...
Last night your family was the topic of youth group. And we talked about Job and how the devil was doing awful things to him to prove that God wasn't going to protect him. But Job kept believing. Ryan and Jodi, you need to keep believing. (Not that I doubt that you aren't.) But yeah..
So as I got out of the car last night and with that in mind. I looked up at the stars. And I couldn't help but look away and bawl (believe me, they were happy tears) because I knew that Logan was up there with God. Watching over his mom and dad. Also with that in mind, I'm trying to be a good example to him as he watches me from above.
My heart was broken when I went to find out if Olivia had been assigned a Prayer Pal, because it would've made me truely happy to be hers. But even though I'm not her assigned Prayer Pal, I will treat her as if I was.
And, as always, I continue to pray not just for her but for her loving and caring parents. It makes my heart wilt, everytime I hear that your hopes have again been postponed. The kangaroo care sounds like the perfect thing to keep the mother-daughter-and-father bond. I admire the way you give her time to get used to all the new changes in her life. If I were Jodi, I would be screaming, in my mind, get better so I can hold you up against me. Although, I'm not a mother, yet, I would think that this time of anticipation would be such a tough experience.
Love you all, and I hope to see you in church this Sunday!
Stay Strong,
Shea
I am so glad that as believers in Jesus Christ we have both the complete Holy Scriptures and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. I find over and over again scriptures that seem to be written for "a time such as this." I Peter 4:19 seems to have been penned specifically for you Ryan and Jodi. "So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue doing good." Some would find it disturbing to think that something as horrible as loosing a beloved son could possibly be God's will. I find it extremely comforting. After all, God willed His own beloved Son's death, even sent Him to earth for that express purpose. And I am eternally grateful. I am sure Mary's PLAN would have been for a "normal" marriage and children. I am sure she did not WANT to be an inspiration to others, any more than Jodi would want to be an inspiration. However, she yeilded herself to God's plan and painful as it was, she would forever be know as "blessed among women." Yeilding our will to God's will is the best decision any of us can make. If you have not done that personally, I pray that you would allow Ryan and Jodi's testiment of faith to lead you to God's precious Son, Jesus Christ. Allow Him to be the Ruler of your life and you will be forever in Hands you can trust even in the most difficult of circumstances. "Taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the man that trusteth in Him." Ps 34:8
Laura
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