Thursday, October 14, 2010

My Miracle

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Somedays. . .I am still in awe of my little miracle.  Born at 23 weeks, 1 day. . .1 lb 1.5 oz. . .11.5 inches long.  We had to beg the doctors to resuscitate her because they don’t automatically until 24 weeks.  She was given a 90% chance of a major disability and a 30% survival rate.  We knew the odds were against us.  Did God spare her life because He took our sweet Logan?  In my despair, I’ve never forgotten what a miracle Olivia is.  I don’t know why I’ve chosen to write about this tonight.  I just often find myself amazed.  She has never had a breathing treatment since leaving the hospital when she was 105 days old.  She hasn’t needed supplemental oxygen since Dec 2007.  She hasn’t needed a feeding tube since they took her NG tube out in the hospital.  She did not have any brain bleeds. . .no brain bleeds for a 23 weeker is almost unheard of.  I’m 100% convinced that God healed her body. . .that He intervened and saved my baby girl.  It’s hard sometimes to believe that if He can do that. . .why is there suffering in the world?   Why couldn’t He have done the same for Logan and for all of the other innocent babies in the world. . .for other people suffering with illness and cancer and turmoil in their lives?  We prayed the same prayer for both of our children. . .why was one saved and not the other?  Some things I don’t believe we are meant to understand or rationalize and by trying to do so. . .we are pretending to know what God’s plan is.  And, we don’t know.  We won’t know until that day when we meet Him face to face.  The only thing we can hope for is peace and faith that God’s plan is sovereign over everything else.  I don’t know why I am writing these words tonight. . .maybe someone needs to hear them?  I was fully intending to write about Olivia’s day at school and how much better it’s going.  But, I went in a totally different direction.  It’s important to step back every once in awhile and realize the miracles we have in our lives.  They are all around us.   May God bless all of my family, friends and faithful readers.   I love you all!


Holli Taylor said...

She truly IS a miracle! Those of us that see the not so great endings that begin in the NICU always know that. Thanks for your post tonight. It will send me back to work on Monday and renewed nurse!

Erin said...

It's so amazing to see those pics of her as a 23 weeker in the hospital to how wonderfully healthy she is now! It's so much fun to see her grow up!