Emily Isbell

There was a young woman by the name of Emily Isbell who was a longtime follower of my blog. She would always send Olivia cards and gifts in the mail. She was only in her 20s, but she was very ill. Tonight I was going through my address book and I came across her address. I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. I would send her thank you cards, but never once did I send something special to her. She had lost both of her parents this past year. I'd send an email, but never did I send her something in the mail. That got me thinking. . .I had not heard from her in a long time. Things have been so crazy, I hadn't noticed. Knowing Emily, she would have a small gift for baby Abigail as she was so excited for her arrival. I looked her up on Facebook and found out she had passed away around the first of November. She never got to even "meet" my sweet Abigail. My heart is broken. For one, the world lost a very thoughtful, caring soul. And I'm so ashamed that I didn't even find out until 3 months later! It gives me peace that she is with her parents and I'm sure she has met my sweet Logan who she cared a lot about. But it still breaks my heart in two.

Monday, February 4, 2013

I'm feeling much better except my achiness and nausea have been replaced with a headache, sore throat and congestion. What a lousy 48 hours that was! Praying the girls don't catch it! On the plus side, I lost 3 more pounds of baby weight, but Olivia doesn't have that luxury. And because I slept for 2 straight days, I'm up at 4:30 am. So I went downstairs, paid bills and bought a new stroller for Abigail. Remind me to someday tell you my awful luck with strollers. I'm so in love with this one. Can't wait!

Well, better try to get some sleep. Thank you to my parents and mother-in-law for taking care of Abigail when I was out of commission. Oh and thanks to Olivia too. What a big helper! Abigail had woken up crying and before I could get in there, Olivia had given Abigail her pacifier and gotten her back to sleep. Nothing like seeing Olivia holding in her pacifier through the bars of the crib just smiling at her sister. Warmed my heart! Olivia is crazy about her and tells me daily that she's the cutest baby ever! I tend to agree.

Down and Out

I'm sick with the flu. Don't remember feeling this bad for at least 13 years. It feels like I'm being repeatedly punched in the stomach and I ache everywhere from the hips up. Awful awful. Awful. Praying the girls stay well. Olivia doesn't know the meaning of contagious, so this morning she kept offering to take care of me and cuddle me. Bless her heart. She is so sweet It's hard to say I love you so please stay away. Plus, she is upset that my birthday party was cancelled. Remind me to not complain about waking up every 3 hrs with a newborn. I'd give anything to feel up to that right now. Yuck.

Friday, February 1, 2013

I visited with a lactation consultant this afternoon. Abigail was thrilled that she got to go somewhere to eat. All of the other babies there were maybe 5 lbs, so my 10 lb baby looked like a giant! LOL. Anyway, she ate for about 45 minutes and only got 80 ml or just over 2 1/2 oz. The minimum per feeding at her age is 2 1/2 oz, but she has to work really hard for it. So that's probably why she likes a formula bottle. She gets more and gets it faster. So, I'm trying to boost my supply by drinking more water and taking a supplement called more milk plus by Motherlove. It would also help, I'm sure, to reduce stress and get more sleep. I may also look into a dairy elimination diet to see if that helps with the gassiness and fussiness.

Anyway, I'm thrilled that she's gaining weight so well, but wish she didn't have to constantly eat to do so. Praying I can boost my supply for her. After feeding her a few bottles, I was reminded of how much I hate bottle feeding. . .getting the bottles ready, having it drip down their face, having to pack bottles in the diaper bag. Ughh. Really hoping I can do this until she is 1 yr old. We'll see.

Here is a picture of Abigail heading out with me today. And, it was pajama day at school so Olivia was thrilled!

Things Olivia Is Afraid Of

So, I really really needed a laugh today. Olivia was sitting on the couch with me and decided to list off all of the things that she is scared of. By the end of the third one, I was laughing so hard that I had to write them down. So, here they are:

Nail pops
Scary hands
Scary hand on a stick
Monsters
Ghosts
Spooky Old Tree bats
Vampire bats
I'm not scared of any fruit bats though.
Mean people
Scary faces
Spooky haunted house
Knives
Spoons
Boxes
Moving walls
Low voices
Whoopee cushions
Socks with a hole in them
Closets
Throw up
Loud noises

Thursday, January 31, 2013

I bought some Similac Sensitive this morning and so far I've fed her two bottles of it and have noticed no difference. And poor thing just wanted to nurse so badly, so I caved and nursed her. I love nursing so much compared to bottle feeding. No bottles to get ready, no messy formula dripping down her chin, etc. So, I think after I take Olivia to school tomorrow, I'm going to visit a lactation consultant. It is free at the hospital where she was born. Maybe they can provide some insight as to what is going on. Praying for answers. I just want my happy baby back. I also have an appointment with Dr Scharenberg on Monday. After 10+ recommendations, I have to check him out!

Lactose Overload

Okay, so I'm pretty sure that Abigail has lactose overload as a previous commenter has mentioned. The only thing inconsistent with it is she does not have the issues with bowel movements. Everything else is spot on! She screams and cries all of the time unless I feed her. Then, she eats and seems very gassy and uncomfortable. And so the only thing that calms her down is to feed her and the cycle continues. It seems that I have two solutions. One is to block feed which I already do and it hasn't helped. The other is to switch to a lactose free formula and quit breastfeeding. And if I do, does anyone know whether it can be soy or actually a lactose free formula? So, hoping to get into see a lactation consultant to examine any other ideas before I make changes. Because I seriously have a baby who cries all the time. First she cries because she's mad unless I feed her. Then, she cries in pain from the gas.

Here are some things I have read about it.

Gas and fluid build-up cause tummy pain and the baby 'acts hungry' (wants to suck, is unsettled, draws up his legs, screams). Sucking is the best comfort he knows and also helps move the gas along the bowel. This tends to ease the pain temporarily and may result in wind and stool being passed. Since the baby indicates that he wants to suck at the breast, his mother, logically, feeds him again. Sometimes it is the only way to comfort him. Unfortunately another large feed on top of the earlier one hurries the system further and results in more gas and fluid accumulation. The milk seems almost literally to 'go in one end and out the other'.

What are the symptoms of lactose overload?

Frequent watery bowel motions (can often be green in color but not always)
Bowel motions often have a slightly to very offensive odor
Bowel motions could be frothy or 'explosive' (shoot out with force)
Bloating
Cramps
Excessive gas
Irritability/screaming
Sleeplessness or wakefulness
Baby appears to be constantly hungry
Baby gains large amounts of weight (which is not the case when a baby is lactose intolerant)
Baby is usually less than 3 months old, but this problem can continue to the age of 5 months
Symptoms are often mistakenly diagnosed as colic, lactose intolerance or milk allergy or intolerance. Because lactose overload is associated with an oversupply of milk and/or overfeeding, spitting up is increased and a diagnosis of gastro-esophageal reflux is common.

Sisters

My beautiful baby

Two month checkup

Abigail had her two month checkup today. She screamed a lot which was consistent at least with what I was talking to him about. It was her mad cry, however, because she was awake and not being fed. She also has a pain cry when she eats. He upped her Zantac dose, but I don't think it is doing anything for her. Her doctor thought she might be happier when taking formula because it is thicker than breast milk. Maybe that's why she is more content? Anyway, super fussy tonight because of her shots today. Poor baby.

As of 11 pm, she has a 100.1 fever and just feels miserable. These vaccinations were brutal. Gonna be a long night.

Weight: 9 lbs 12 oz and in the 16th percentile. Wow, I don't believe Olivia has ever gotten over the 1 percentile.

Height: 21.3 inches and in the 7 th percentile

And cute as a button!!!

Saturday, January 27, 2013

The other day, Olivia and I spent the afternoon shopping together and had such a good time. Do you know what she bought with her Christmas gift card? Zinkies ( no surprise since she loves Squinkies, however, I despise Zinkies! They are a cruel joke to parents and once Abigail is mobile, they have to go away for awhile.) And. . . She bought her own pink blow dryer. LOL! It's what she wanted.

Still struggling on the breastfeeding front. I started taking a fenugreek supplement to increase my supply and it has definitely worked! It also has the added benefit of of lowering your blood sugar. I just constantly smell like maple syrup, eh, small price to pay. But the way she screams when she breastfeeds, I feel like I'm poisoning her. I can't say that it feels like I'm doing what is best for her. :(. I'm so discouraged! Her 2 month appointment is tomorrow and I'm going to talk to her doctor and also try to get into a lactation consultant. I have GOT to figure out what is going on. Her weight gain is super though. She is over 9.5 lbs I think. Just look at those little chubby legs.

My Two Girls

So, I guess Abigail and Olivia look more alike than I thought they did. The pictures below were both taken one month from their due dates or around January 23 2008 and 2013 respectively. Still find it crazy that they had the same due dates 5 years apart.

I am a huge believer in breast milk and I truly believe it's best, but could someone explain this to me?

Breast milk = fussy
Breast milk= fussy
Breast milk = fussy
Formula= happy, smiley
Breast milk= fussy

Kinda discouraging to me. :)

Friday, January 25, 2013

I tell ya, 5+ years of constantly fretting about your child's weight takes its toll. Olivia has gained nothing in 6 months. She is such a poor eater and it doesn't help that she's been constantly sick almost for months. I have her on vitamin C, a high quality vitamin and thank goodness she drinks Pediasure. It doesn't matter what I fix, she only takes a few bites and is done. Every night, without fail, she says her stomach hurts and can't eat anymore. The other night, she ate a few bites of chicken and an hour later, she was still chewing on the chicken! She does that with other food as well, like carrots or apples or any kind of meat, until finally I just let her spit it out. It's almost like she can't sit down to eat unless we tell her how many bites until she's done. How in the world is she going to eat once she goes to school without someone supervising her? And if you've never had a child who doesn't eat, it's hard to explain. Abigail is already tons different. You put anything in her mouth and she'll suck on it. Olivia has never liked anything in her mouth.

I don't know, I just want to see Olivia growing and thriving. I know she's going to be small and skinny. In a time of the obesity epidemic, that's fine. But I just know how little she eats and that's what bothers me. If she ate well and was still small, I wouldn't worry, ya know? I keep wanting to turn a corner and we never do. Anyway, so that's what is on my mind at 5 am while my other child is ravenously hungry. Please continue to pray for her growth and health.

Speaking of that, we will be participating in the March for Babies this year on April 6th. Since we didn't do it last year, I'm hoping to come back strong this year. We would love all previous team members to return and to gain many new ones. I will be posting a link to my personal page soon. Thanks for all of your past, present and future support. It means so much!!

Weight Loss

During my pregnancy, I gained over 40 lbs. If I had gone full term, I'm sure I would have gained over 50 lbs. LOL! Well, two months later I have lost 30 lbs and wore regular jeans yesterday for the first time. Yay!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

So, I think we finally got a handle on what's wrong with my husband. We believe that he has inappropriate sinus tachycardia or IST. It can often be hard to control, however, sometimes it will go away on its own. He was started on beta blockers and we're praying that it helps. During this whole ordeal, we also learned that his cholesterol is 235 and his triglycerides are over 470! So, we'll be making quite a few lifestyle changes around here. Happy to finally have some answers and get him on his way to feeling better.

Wednesday, January. 23, 2013

Good news is that Abigail's face has really cleared up. Not sure if the acne ran its course or if the detergent/soap change contributed. Now I just wish I knew why Abigail was so unhappy all of the time. She is either eating or crying. I remember Olivia ( other than her witching hour ) being a happier baby. Olivia was always laying on blankets on the floor. Abigail lasts 5 minutes when put down while awake before she starts screaming. I have been giving her an extra bottle of formula per day. She will nurse for 2 hours, take a 4 oz bottle and nurse some more. I just can't quite keep up with her. I did order some fenugreek to see if that helps my supply. Isn't it ironic that I have one child who doesn't eat and another who eats all of the time?

And here I was asking all of you for advice about breastfeeding. . .guess I should just ask Olivia. Pink Gogum seems pretty happy. Hahaha! We were watching a movie, I looked over and this is what I saw. :)

Two months

Abigail turned 2 months old on January 20th. She weighs a little over 9 lbs.

Breastfeeding Advice?

Okay, so I did something that you are not supposed to do. . . I supplemented with formula. Not that formula is bad, but I know once you start supplementing, you'll never keep up with your baby. For the past week or so, Abigail has started getting really mad while nursing. I think she's getting impatient waiting for the second let down when a bottle provides a constant flow. And I can tell that she is just so hungry. And for the first time since we brought her home, she lost weight. ( I weigh her every other day.) So, after nursing her for 30 minutes and having her scream, I fed her a bottle that she sucked dry. Then, she happily continued nursing. I'm not sure how to increase my supply other than nursing, pumping and drinking water. I'm trying to relax and sleep as much as I can, but i don't have a lot of control over that. The other day, she literally nursed from 10:30 am to 3 pm. And THAT didn't even seem to help. So any advice to boost my supply? I planned on nursing her for a full year, but I don't know how I'm going to keep up. She is an eating machine! LOL! She's also 2 months old today and about 9 lbs. But, I'll have the official picture posted another day. But this is how happy she is with a full tummy! And in the second picture, you can tell her sister has been playing with her. :)