Saturday, March 14, 2009 - Update

My daddy is finally home! Don't I look like a big girl?

This dress was a present from a special person. It reminds me that God is awesome. ;)

Snacks? What snacks?

Are those butterflies on my jumper?

We're both glad that daddy is finally home. He was at a Microsoft convention in New Orleans all week. Not too fun to have a guinea pig die while he's gone as I usually don't have to deal with that sort of thing. Luckily, my dad was over when I found Taryn and he took care of everything and buried her outside. Ryan felt bad that my dad had to do it, but I reminded him that someday if Olivia's husband is out of town and her guinea pig dies. . .I'm sure he would do the same. Ryan got home and I put him to work making our March for Babies t-shirts. We have about 8 shirts down and. . .quite a few left to go. I still haven't been able to find plain toddler size shirts, but I'm still looking. Although today was the original deadline, it's not too late to request one. I still have a couple of sizes that I need to pick up this week.

I haven't felt quite as "energized" the last few days. I felt really good for about a week and then I'm not quite sure what happened. It's always hard having Ryan gone and not having the extra help from him. I do appreciate everyone who came over to help and to keep us company, however. In other news, I got carded the other day at Office Depot while buying canned air. Yep, you have to be 18 years of age. . . .and I'm. . .well, much older than that. It must be the new thing that teenagers are abusing these days. So, even though I feel like I'm 80 years old and have been through a lifetime of pain and heartbreak. . .I guess you can't tell too much. That's always a good thing. I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend!

Olivia the Genius

Okay, so maybe I just know my daughter so well that I know her favorite letters and the order that she likes them. Maybe she really understands or maybe it's a combination of both. Either way, I still think it's pretty impressive.

Friday, March 13, 2009 - Update

Hello there new friend!
Are you real?

I dusted off the 'ole Fur Real Friends Luv Cub today to see what Olivia thought of it. Yes, it was mine. . .that I got as an adult. . .don't make fun, I thought he was adorable. Hmmm. . .can you not buy the Panda anymore except as a collectible? Olivia thought he was pretty fun and would sniff when he did. Still not as great as Funshine Bear, but not everything can be yellow. Next up. . .Furby.

Now, a subject that's been weighing on my heart . . I have often been confused about the purpose of prayer. Surely, if it truly worked, God would have heard my pleadings and saved my son. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t pray. . .I only question as to whether it makes a difference in outcomes. The other day, as I was staring at my amazing daughter, I became angry with myself. Every day, I experience one of God’s great miracles and one of the greatest prayers ever answered. I prayed every single day for the chance to be a mother and I am. It was a very difficult journey, but I am a mother nonetheless. After Logan died, I prayed and prayed for God to allow me to keep my precious Olivia and He did. I firmly believed that He healed her because every day there is less evidence of her premature birth. Sometimes when I talk with other preemie moms, I even feel guilty that she is doing so well and has escaped many of the disabilities that being born 17 weeks early can bring. I wonder why God couldn’t do the same with every premature baby or why they are even born so early at all? I’m sure others wonder why they have their son and I do not. Or, why their children were born full term and mine were not. I wonder why infertility, premature birth and infant mortality even exist. These are questions that I will never be able to answer. There is a part of me that will always be angry about losing Logan and a part of me that will always be empty. But, Olivia fills me with so much hope and happiness and love and I’m so grateful for that.

I do know that Olivia’s life is a miracle and a testament to God’s goodness. Her life has inspired so many and truly is an answer to prayer. I think many people go through life completely uninspired and devoid of the emotions needed to feel anything. Olivia seems to bring that goodness out of people. I love sharing her story. I love for people to be able to experience her love of life and her smile and her laugh and exuberance. . .something that I can’t always relay on the blog. She’s amazing. . .the perfect daughter that I always wanted, my miracle and an amazing answer to prayer. I love you, Olivia Paige!

Our New Project

For those wondering what our new household project was. . .here it is. We've decided to paint the interior walls starting with the entryway. This is huge because Ryan is a very white walls kind of guy who hates doing anything with walls. . . painting, hanging pictures or blinds, etc. On Sunday, he looked at me and said, "If you wanted to paint the entryway, we could do that today." I had to take him up on the offer, especially since I finally had the energy to do it myself. I'm so excited, especially since I can't stand to stare at the same white walls any longer. Who knows when we'll finally finish it all, but it's a great start!

BEFORE
DURING

COMPLETED

And Then There Were Three. . .

Taryn as a baby.

Taryn, the lioness

Taryn, the lounger.

My sweet Taryn, you'll be missed.

Well, I thought things were going a little too well lately. Tonight I went downstairs, like normal, to take care of the guinea pigs and I found that one of my girls. . .sweet Taryn. . .had passed away. She was almost 6 years old, but it was totally unexpected. She is always the first one waiting at the bars for her treats and last night was no exception. I knew something was wrong, however, when she didn't come out of her little timber house tonight. At least whatever it was, it went fast and she looked comfortable when she passed.

When Taryn was about 2 years old, she nearly died. We had to syringe feed her and care for her around the clock for a couple of days. As a young guinea pig, she was never very affectionate. After that rough patch that she went through, it was as if she realized that we saved her life. Ever since then, she loved attention and would flop down to be petted. If I had ever decided to show guinea pigs, she would have been my star. She was just a beautiful guinea pig, so photogenic, so sweet and will be forever missed. I hate this. . .I'm just so sad.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009 - Update

Is that what I think it is?
Yum!

Mommy hid snacks in my learning chair!

We met with Olivia's speech pathologist today and it went really well. She believes that Olivia is on the verge of talking. . .she mimics sounds very well. I was so proud of Olivia for being able to show her the horse, bird (cheep-cheep) and frog when asked. I tell ya, Olivia is super smart. She amazes me sometimes with the things that she is able to do. We are now working on body parts and more purposeful play. I've been so thrilled that she started using her arms, grabbing toys and shaking them. . .I haven't worked too hard on making sure she's playing with them appropriately. We're trying to stack rings (instead of just taking them off) and placing items in containers. Her speech pathologist made a suggestion about starting to offer her choices. . .even at this age. It's working really well. I asked her if she wanted the Yogurt Melts or Crunchies. She reached for the Yogurt Melts (of course.) This helps build up her vocabulary and also helps her feel like she has some control. No drinking from a straw yet today, so I'm hoping yesterday wasn't just a fluke.

Look At What I Can Do!!!

Tonight, for the first time. . .Olivia drank out of a straw! Every time Kerry comes over, Olivia does something extraordinary. She'll eat minestrone soup, pizza, chicken parmesan. . .only when Kerry is here. Tonight Kerry came over and Olivia drank out of a straw. She seemed interested in my straw, so I filled up her honey bear cup with orange juice. I gave it a few squeezes, she caught on and started sucking all by herself. This is huge and something we've been trying for months. She usually doesn't let us put the straw anywhere near her mouth. I'm just beaming with pride. Great job baby girl!! Oh, and Kerry? You're going to have to come visit every day from now on. Who knows what Olivia will do next!

I've been hesitant to give her orange juice or any kind of juice for that matter, but I also want her to be interested in drinking from a straw. I diluted it with water as I know some kids have problems with the acidity of orange juice. She seemed to absolutely love it, however, so how do I deprive her of it? She probably just likes it because it looks sort of yellow. :) Do most of you dilute orange juice for your toddlers? How much water to juice do you use? Any advice on the topic is appreciated.

Monday, March 9, 2009 - Update

Why can't I be outside?
I really love the color yellow.

Enjoying my pony

So, I thought I would talk a bit about my newfound rejuvenation. . .it's amazing. There are certain fleeting moments where I don't think I have felt so good since high school. I still can't quite describe how tired I was. . .it was beyond tired. . .sort of like making it through each day only half-alive. It was awful. Every day, all I wanted to do was sleep and all I could think about was when I could rest again. I don't know what finally helped or whether it will continue helping, but for those interested in what I have tried, send me an email. Whether the adrenal fatigue finally improved or whether it was severe depression that was finally addressed. . . I don't know. But, the past 18 months have been brutal on me and the years of infertility before that took their toll as well. I know that I will still have my not so good days, but I praise God for the energy to be the kind of wife and mother that I have always dreamed of being. Thank you all for your kind words and please pray that I continue to feel better.

Sunday, March 8, 2009 - Update

Me and my hubby
Our little family

We always try to snap a family picture when we can, although we've learned that we probably won't get Olivia to smile in them. We're just happy if she stays somewhat still and is facing the right direction. And, sometimes we have to bribe her with some money.

Today was an absolutely fabulous day. I haven't felt so energetic in years! It is beyond amazing, but that is for another post. Grandma and Grandpa Sailing came over to watch Olivia while Ryan and I ate some Mongolian barbecue at HuHot. Then, we ran a bunch of errands and just enjoyed being together. Later, we decided to embark on a new household project. One set of grandparents left at 4 pm and the other set came over at 4:30 pm so that Ryan and I could get started . . .it was totally spur of the moment. You'll have to wait a few days to find out what our new project is. I've waited almost 8 years to get Ryan to agree to this. Olivia enjoyed seeing all of her grandparents and I haven't seen her so worn out in a long time. She went to sleep at her normal 8:30 pm time (which would have been 7:30 pm.)

Don't forget to read the previous post about our March of Dimes t-shirts and be sure to let me know if you would like to purchase one.

March For Babies T-Shirts!

Here are the Olivia and Logan Team t-shirts! Of course, they had to be yellow as that is Olivia's favorite color. Anyone that raises and/or donates $75 or more receives one of these for free. Anyone can also purchase them for $6.00 plus shipping and handling (to be determined) if you would like them mailed to you.

Whether or not you are purchasing one or receiving it as an incentive, you must let me know how many and what sizes you would like BEFORE March 14th. That is when I am buying the rest of the t-shirts. These are adult sizes. Email me or leave me a comment with this information as soon as possible.

Youth sizes are also available, so please specify if you are needing a youth size. I'm trying to find infant/toddler shirts to match as well and I'll let you know if I do.

If you are purchasing one, please make the check payable to Jodi Glunt and send to me as soon as possible. Once payment is received, I will let you know when your shirt(s) are ready.

If you plan on going to the walk, don't forget to click on the banner on my sidebar and sign up to walk on our team! Please let me know if you have ANY questions or concerns. We're all going to make quite a statement in our matching t-shirts. Thank you all for supporting us and March of Dimes.

Here Kitty Kitty

Me and my kitty
Come back here kitty!
My mommy won't let me keep him.

Well, I finally got pictures of the cat that comes to see us when we go for walks. I'm pretty sure he belongs to one of our neighbors. . .although I think he spends most of his time outside. Olivia loves him! He reminds me of my favorite cat of all time, Caleb, who was one of the strays that I took care of at my apartment. He even looks like Caleb without the bit of gray. What a sweetheart. . .so very gentle and loving and always purring. I'd love to have a cat. Unfortunately, my mom is allergic to cats so I never had one growing up and then I marry a man who is allergic to cats. So, what do I do? I get guinea pigs that I am allergic to. Olivia and I will just have enjoy this sweet kitty who comes to visit us every once in awhile.

Friday, March 6, 2009 - Update

Yee-haw!

Thanks, Katie, for my horse t-shirt. I think it goes very well with my pony and my horse puzzle piece.

The last two days I have felt a little better than usual. I don't know if it's the weather, the fact that we're all sleeping through the night or if some of my medications are finally working. This morning, Olivia and I went to the mall to get me a new pair of sunglasses. Normally, I don't go places with Olivia where I will be one on one with a salesman, but I've realized that I'll deal with men before women. Why? Well, us women are too "hands-on, how old is your baby, how sweet, touchy-feely." Men don't pay as much attention to your baby which is what I want during RSV/flu season. Anyway, lately I've felt like buying new sunglasses, strappy sandals, painting my nails, etc. These are all things that I have felt too tired and uninterested in for the past year or so. Maybe I am finally starting to feel happier again and more like myself. . .maybe I have a bit of spring fever. Whatever it is. . .I am welcoming it with open arms. Right now, Olivia is napping and I am not and I normally can't get through the day without a nap. This is a good sign, right?

Guess Who Is Finally Over 18 lbs?

That was hard work.

Thursday, March 5, 2009 - Update

Can't you just picture her in a couple of years, making this face and saying, "Ughh, meatloaf again?
Another silly face

I was up until 2 am last night working on a design for the March for Babies t-shirts. I can't sleep when I'm in the middle of something. Please begin thinking whether or not you would like a t-shirt. I think I will have an incentive so that if you raise and/or donate a certain amount of money, you will receive a free t-shirt. They will also be able to be purchased for under $10. I will be posting in a few days asking for amounts, sizes, etc. so that I can order the t shirts in bulk. Also, if you sign up to walk by March 13th, your name will be entered to win a family portrait session complete with an 11X14 portrait by Christopher Clark Portraits (valued at $425.) Winner is announced at the walk. Look for lots of additional info to come soon!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009 - Update

I love my snacks. . .especially Yogurt Melts. I could eat a pouch a day.
Mommy thought the living room needed a bit more pink.
Such concentration. . .

We made a trip to Target today. We were out of Yogurt Melts and I had a birthday gift card that was burning a hole in my pocket. Sorry, Kelley, the gift card went towards this cool tunnel instead of towards something for me. It's more fun to buy her things anyway. Note to self: Don't try to go through the tunnel again. It's not as wide as it looks and getting stuck causes a bit of claustrophobia.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009 - Update

Sometimes I think a dog would come in handy.

It's so funny to watch Olivia sort her food. Some of it gets placed to the far right of her high chair (this may or may not be eaten later) while some of it gets thrown onto the floor. A few prized pieces of food actually make it into her mouth. We haven't yet pinpointed the criteria because just when we think we got it figured out, Olivia throws us a curveball.

Monday, March 2, 2009 - Update

We finally made it home from our apppointment (that was 2 1/2 hours long!) We came out of it with really good news, however. They tested Olivia on a multitude of different things and found her to be at around a 10-12 month level in most areas. Her actual age is 18 months and her adjusted age is 14 months. This is fantastic considering that four months ago, she was only at a 4-5 month level. She has progressed 6 months over the past 4 months, so she is catching up. I'm glad that I brought the video of her walking because I assumed that she wouldn't walk in a strange place with strange people. . .and I was right. Her doctor loved the video of her walking and said she had perfect "Frankenstein" form and was doing a great job. I was also told that cerebral palsy (even in its mildest form) can be crossed off the list as she doesn't see any indication of it. This is huge and something that always weighs on the mind of any micro-preemie parent. The area that she seems to be falling behind in is her speech, which is ironic because that is the area she was always ahead in. No one is too concerned about this because she makes a lot of noises and mimics a lot of sounds. She just doesn't say any word consistently except dada. I was very proud of Olivia as she did very well for as long as we had to wait. She was tired, hot and hungry (as was I) but still managed to show off many of her skills. I especially like when she starts waving bye-bye to people who aren't ready to leave yet. Thank you for sharing in my joys and caring so much about my daughter. She has definitely come a long way from her start as a 1 lb 1.5 oz baby.

Look At My Baby Go!!!

I'm so very proud of her. She makes me laugh every time she balances herself. . .it's like she dances a little jig. I need to allow her to walk a little more often than I do, but I hate watching her fall. Last night she had two big knots on her head. We try to catch her, but that doesn't always work. I need to start bubble wrapping the house. I'm just beyond proud of her. She also slept last night from 8:30 pm to 9 am. . .without making a peep. She's happier, we're happier. . .things are good.

Sunday, March 1, 2009 - Update

So sweet

Wow, it's March already. I can finally see the end of winter and I'm so excited. I am grateful for the warm weather that we have had quite a bit of. There are more 70 degree days in the forecast this week!

One thing I love about watching Olivia grow is discovering what interests her and what doesn't. She's always loved music, puzzle pieces, blocks, ponies and we're finding she loves the color yellow. Those are always the first letters that she takes off the refrigerator. She has also become attached to her yellow Funshine Care Bear. She snuggles with it, kisses it, lays her head down on it and her face lights up when she sees it. It is too cute.

Olivia has an appointment tomorrow with her developmental pediatrician. Last time Olivia saw her was last October and she still wasn't using her arms or grabbing onto toys very well. I'm thinking that she will be amazed by Olivia's progress and hopefully we get nothing but good news.

Saturday, February 28, 2009 - Update

If you give a mama a cookie, she'll eat another one and another one. . .

My sister-in-law, Kim, brought over these two bags of my favorite cookies in the whole wide world. She whips up some of the greatest cookies and I don't know how she has time with four kids. I don't have much of a sweet tooth and I'm one of those people who scrapes off the excess frosting on cake, but there are certain sweets that I just crave. These are one of those things. Thanks, Kim!!

Last night, we tried our sleep training again and Olivia did very well. She woke up around 3 am and cried for about thirty minutes, but went back to sleep on her own. We're finding that she is a much happier girl in the morning and is sleeping in past 8:30 am. I don't think Ryan trusts me not to intervene, so he's listening for her out on the couch and I have the bedroom all to myself. I could be enjoying these uninterrupted nights of sleep, but I'm waking up around 4-5 am with horrible sinus pain. It's driving me insane! I've taken so much cold and allergy medication that I'm a little loopy. I'm hoping that it's not anything contagious and that allergies are the main culprit. Pray that I don't get Olivia sick.

Friday, February 27, 2009 - Update

Feb 2008

Feb 2009
(Olivia with her beloved horse puzzle piece)

I have just been amazed by all of the things that Olivia is learning. She shakes her head no to anything that you ask her and waves bye-bye all of the time. There is a page in her Llama llama red pajama book where mama llama goes downstairs and I would always wave bye-bye to mama. Now, every time that we are on that page, she waves bye-bye. It's too cute. Progress is going slow with the sippy cup, but I'm grateful that we're seeing progress at all. She LOVES to walk and has made it down the hall multiple times. She will also let go of the coffee table or couch to walk to us. We think she has said boat, shoes, yes, pig, duck and geese. . .but, no mama. The only word that she says on a regular basis that can be completely understood is dada. . .that's her favorite. I'll ask her to say mama and she'll say dada, fafa, gaga and then just laugh. Yes, I think she's taunting me. And, today she discovered the toilet paper roll. She is just becoming so much fun!

Success!

Well, last night we (and by we, I mean Ryan) had to take the hard line with Olivia. I have not been feeling well (my head feels like it's going to explode) and when she woke up at 11 pm, I just didn't have it in me to be up all night. I hate it because if someone felt the way I do, I wouldn't let them anywhere near Olivia, but here I am. Anyway, Ryan took the monitor, went out on the couch and I stayed in the bedroom with the fan on and the door shut. When Olivia would stand up and cry, Ryan would go in there, lay her back down, cover her up and pat her back. It only took her 30 minutes to catch on. The bad news is. . .whenever she cries for any length of time, she throws up so he had that to contend with and clean up. That makes our situation a little more challenging. However, she slept from 11:30 pm to 8:30 am!!! We're going to continue this the next few nights and hopefully by next week, we'll all be sleeping again. Thanks for all of your suggestions.

Taking Back Our Nights. . .

Okay, we've decided. . .this weekend is the time for Olivia to start sleeping through the night again. I just can't sleep in the recliner for one more night. Our nights go something like this:



Olivia goes to sleep initially very well, but has started waking up earlier and earlier. What used to be 1 am for her first waking has started to become 11 pm. She stands up and screams until mommy comes in to get her. (Daddy has attempted to get her, but she will continue to cry until she has mommy.) In order to avoid additional wakings, I've just been sleeping with her in the recliner. However, around 2 am or so, I put her back in her crib so that I can get a little sleep in bed. An hour or so later, she wakes back up. I feed her a bottle because she can use the extra calories. We've noticed, however, that it doesn't really make a difference because she just takes less during her daytime bottles. It all averages out to about 20 oz per day regardless. After she eats, I either go back to sleep with her in the recliner or attempt to put her back in her crib. If I put her back in her crib, she wakes back up an hour or so later and I just grab her and put her in bed with us so that I can sleep the rest of the night. The whole thing is getting very old. She was such a good sleeper for the first year. I'm sure the change is partly my fault because I've been so tired and desperate that I've just taken the easiest route. It's not so easy anymore and our bed just isn't big enough for the two of us plus a squirmy little girl. So, please give us all the advice that you can. . .

Wednesday, February 25, 2009 - Update

The big news of the day. . .Olivia actually picked up and took a sip out of her sippy cup today. She is just having a big week! Hopefully, she'll continue this trend. Of course, there is milk everywhere!! It was a gorgeous 70+ degrees here today, so guess where we went? I know Amanda is catching on. . .we went to the zoo. We found a nice shady bench by the lake and watched the geese for most of the afternoon. Surrounded by all of these amazing, exotic animals and we watch the geese the whole time. Olivia was quickly recognized as someone who can be a little clumsy with her crackers, so she became quite the popular one. It was adorable. Olivia was laughing and squealing at them. Oh, you should have seen her and her geese friends. . .but you can't because I somehow forgot my camera. Sometimes geese can be a little mean, but these guys were quite the gentlemen or ladies. . .I don't know. It was an amazing and relaxing afternoon. Now, if only I could get rid of my scratchy throat. . .

Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - Update

Are you going to walk with me for the March for Babies?

This evening, Kerry and I went to the March of Dimes Family Team Kick-Off. I'm so thankful to have friends like Kerry who are incredibly supportive in ways like these. We picked up a banner to carry on the walk along with stickers, buttons and fundraising ideas. If anyone would like brochures or a March of Dimes change collection bank to put out at work. . .let me know. I will have more information and additional details on incentives shortly. I invite any and all of you to join our team. Even if we've never met in person, this would be a great opportunity to get to know each other face to face. Just click on the March of Dimes banner to your right for more information.

In Olivia news. . .she is doing good, although she threw up last night. I'm not sure if it was due to her vaccinations or the Pediasure bottle that she had. I seem to remember that we stopped the Pediasure a few weeks back because we suspicioned that it hurt her tummy. Now that I think about it, she threw up one time after we added karo syrup to one of her bottles as a young baby. I don't think that she can handle sugar very well. So, I've decided against starting up the Pediasure bottles again even though she could use the extra calories. I haven't been feeling very well and I'm hoping that my sore throat is just the result of allergies. It doesn't seem to be improving, however. I haven't been sick since I was about 12 weeks pregnant, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Monday, February 23, 2009 - Update

Please continue to pray for Lauren, her husband, Josh, and family. My heart has just been breaking for them today. Everybody who desires children should be blessed with at least one child to call their own. Anything less than that, just doesn't seem fair. I know it's easy to trust in God's plan when His will coincides with our own. When His will results in unimaginable pain. . .it's tough. I still believe that God's plan is better than my own, but it doesn't take away the pain that we experience in life. But, God will get you through the pain. I am proof of that. So is my little miracle, Olivia.

She is still practicing her walking and is doing phenomenal. Olivia had her 18 month checkup today with two vaccinations. Poor girl. I guess the appointment went okay. Her doctor is officially concerned about her weight gain (I've been concerned for a few months now.) She was only 17.6 lbs and is falling off of her growth chart. So, she has to go back in every 2 months for weight checks. At least I wasn't lectured about sippy cups. . .I think however I get calories in her at this point is fine. It was also the first conversation that I've ever had with a doctor who brought up autism when talking about Olivia's development. Of course she's not meeting 18 month milestones. . .she's only 14 months adjusted. Since when do they start pretending that she is a regular 18 month old? Olivia has made huge gains in the past few months! However, I'd rather her doctor take everything too seriously than not seriously enough. Something about being told that my pregnancy was going well when it wasn't just doesn't sit quite right with me. We did also find out today that Olivia has two cysts on her foot due to her numerous heel pricks in the NICU. She also has a sebaceous cyst on her neck which probably formed from having her central line. This may have to someday be removed. All in all, Olivia did not care for her check up today. She is getting to the age where she knows it's not somewhere that she wants to be and who can blame her? Please continue to keep her in your prayers as she grows and develops.

Pray for Lauren

Please visit Lauren's blog and offer her any support and prayers that you have. They were unable to stop labor and she delivered her remaining three babies at only 22 weeks. This was only one week before I gave birth to Olivia and Logan. They were unable to resuscitate any of them. Sweet Lily Nicole, Paige Elise and Rylan Otto are safe in the arms of Jesus, but their parents' arms are empty and that seems so unfair. I had to bury one baby in what was the most painful experience in the world. I can't imagine losing four. Please offer her any love and prayers that you have.

Olivia Surprises Us!