Thursday, August 7, 2008 - Update

Okay, I had to swipe this picture from Shelley's blog. Olivia was enjoying time with her cousin, Abbey. I thought this picture was adorable!

Whatcha looking at, Abbey?

Olivia and I had lunch over at Shelley and Izzy's with grandma and grandpa. Izzy was very happy that Olivia came over to play. . .it was too cute. Olivia showed off her jumping skills and Izzy even clapped for her. Olivia also got to interact with their kitty. For lunch, Izzy was eating some tapioca pudding. Lately I haven't been able to get Olivia to eat much of anything, so we tried some pudding and she loved it!! She must have learned a thing or two about Izzy's good eating habits because she ate some carrots when we got home. We also took a nap on the living room floor (Olivia woke me up at 5:30 this morning.) I hope Shelley and Izzy got a nap as well.

I am still shocked and amazed by a gift card that we got in the mail today. There was no return address and we have no idea who this gift was from. All we know is that it was from an amazing, wonderful, generous person and we sincerely thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We will use it to buy something special for Olivia's birthday. Thank you. . .there are wonderful people in this world.

Cough Cough Chuckle Chuckle

One of my favorite things about being a mother is finding the things that make Olivia laugh. They are not the expensive toys targeted to cause laughter in children. They are always unexpected and they always make me smile. Whether it's the clunky cart at Target or folding jeans (yes, today she thought that was hilarious) I love nothing more than hearing her laugh. Yesterday as I was attempting to feed her, I coughed. She burst into laughter. I grabbed the camera and caught a bit of it.

Also, be sure to check out Shea's blog. We go to church with Shea and she has been a long-time follower of my blog. She is one of the most tender-hearted, empathetic, caring teenagers in all of the world.

Double Take

Mommy and her daddy
Me and my daddy

I've been wanting to get this picture for a long time and Olivia is close to outgrowing the dress. Olivia and I don't look that much alike, although I think I had the same amount of hair on my head as a baby. We tried and tried, but couldn't manage to get her to grab the tie and smile at the same time. We had a lot of fun taking the pictures tonight (and thank you, Ryan, for putting on your suit jacket and tie just for the occasion.) Who knows. . .maybe Olivia's daughter will take the same picture with her daddy.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008 - Update

We borrowed this adorable Spin and Explore ladybug mat from Izzy. Apparently, she didn't like it. . .Olivia doesn't either. This would be a great tool to get Olivia to support herself with her arms, but as you can tell, she still manages not to use them. I think it would be tough to hold yourself up like that. Maybe that's why she doesn't like it. Anyway, I put her on it and then went and grabbed my camera (so that you can see what I'm talking about.) She started crying and I went to pick her up. When she saw the camera, however, she managed to grin. I took her picture. She cried again, saw the orange light on the camera. . grinned again. I think that she has learned (after 3000+ pictures)that the camera = smiles. And they were totally fake smiles because she wasn't happy at all.

Monday, August 4, 2008 - Update

Don't I look cute in my dress?
Here I am standing up. . .my favorite pastime. . .besides jumping.
Here's my cheesiest grin.

I feel like such a big girl.

Whoa. . .a little wobbly there.

Okay, that's better. . .aren't I a good stander?

Okay, these are only about half of the adorable pictures I took yesterday before church. She was extra adorable yesterday. . but, I guess I say that every day. I think she just gets cuter every day.

Olivia went over to spend time with Grandma Mary so that I could go out to lunch with my long-time friend and previous boss, Pam. It was really nice to catch up. I can't believe clients still ask about me and I've been gone almost a year. I feel so bad that they have to re-tell my story every time. Pam, we'll have to do it again soon.

Sunday, August 3, 2008 - Update

The woman of the hour!

Shelley and Jamie

I went to a baby shower today for my dear friend, Jamie. Shelley hosted it over at her house. I enjoyed seeing everybody. I have missed Jamie and everyone so much. Jamie and I used to work together and see each other on a daily basis. She is also the one responsible for introducing Shelley to my brother. Izzy wouldn't be here without her. So, she'll always have a huge place in my family's heart. I wish Jamie all the blessings in the world with her baby girl.

Saturday, August 2, 2008 - Update

Ryan and I went on a date today. . .just the two of us and it was wonderful. After lunch we grabbed Spangles' mudslides and ate them by the fountains at New Market. Then, we went to go see The Dark Knight. I hadn't been to a movie since before Olivia and Logan were born. We really needed that today. It was the first time that I actually enjoyed myself while being away from Olivia. Usually, I miss and worry about her so much that I'd rather be home. I will admit, the best part of our date was knowing that we were coming home to this amazing angel.

If you'll notice, we have added links to our friends and families' blogs. Enjoy!

Fun With Dad

Sorry about the glare from the window. Ryan's legs were really sore the next day.

Friday, August 1, 2008 - Update

My cousins, Julia and Rebekah, have such caring hearts.

Head over to Nate's site to see what he's up to now.

Please check on this family whose 15 month old son, Sully, is losing the battle with leukemia.

Sometimes it's easy to ignore other people's battles when it doesn't affect you personally. We're only human and sometimes we get caught up in our own life struggles. On a daily basis, every one of us has our own things to worry about. We never know, however, when our life is going to be touched by cancer, premature birth, the death of a loved one and many more unimaginable things that we feel will never happen to us. Going through all I've been through in the last year. . .it has meant so much to me for others to take such an active part in what I'm going through. You have read my blog, left comments, sent cards, donated to March of Dimes, participated in the March for Babies, learned about premature birth and made a special place in your heart for Logan and Olivia. Thank you.

Thursday, July 31, 2008 - Update

It seems that every day I have less and less time on the computer. Or, maybe that's not the case. Maybe I just have more and more blogs to check. . .and a MySpace and a Facebook. That's probably it. It's like a part-time job. . .although a fun one. People say to never have a television in your bedroom. . .well, we do. (I'm sure we're not the only ones.) It's our nightly routine and it was sorely missed during those early days when we first brought Olivia home. As if that's not bad enough. . .well, for instance. . .right now the television is on, Ryan is playing his DS and I am on my laptop. It's like we have to be doing 5 things at once. . .maybe we do have a bit of that ADHD that everyone is always talking about. Ryan and I are planning to go on a date sometime soon, though, without the television, DS, or laptop. We're really looking forward to it.

I'm proud to say that Olivia finally crossed the 15 lb mark tonight. She's been teetering around it for weeks now. She is still not eating her baby food any better, but since she's taking her bottle. . . I'm not worried. I appreciate all of your thoughts and suggestions. I did buy her some Puffs to try. She had no idea what to do with them. It just sat on her tongue until she drooled it out. I don't think she's quite ready for them yet. We're still trying to get her to use her arms more. I feel like I'm the only one that's worried about that. I just see all of the things that she could be doing if she would just use them more. . .things that she is developmentally ready for. It seems all she wants to do all day long is jump, jump, jump. She doesn't care if it's on your lap, on the floor or in her jumperoo. Maybe she missed out on all that jumping in the womb and is trying to make up for it. Sometimes I see her looking at her jumperoo as we walk by with that 'kid in a candy store' look. Bless her heart. . .I love her so very much.

Izzy Has A Blog

Now, you can keep up with the happenings of Olivia's cousin, Izzy at:

http://www.dizzyfromizzy.blogspot.com/

I also just found out that Olivia's 8 year old cousin, Julia, also started a blog. We're so excited to learn about her life from her perspective.

http://www.gluntquartet.blogspot.com/

We are now officially a blogging family!

Enjoy!!

Having A Ball With Kerry

Not too much to talk about today, so I thought I'd share a video of Olivia having fun with Kerry last week. I wish I would have had the camera when she first started laughing. Still a cute video, though.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008 - Update

Hey daddy. . .my birthday is coming up.
I was wondering if you remembered about that pony.

The tiny one?

Not too much to report today. Olivia has been sleeping a bit better at night. Now she is refusing any kind of baby food. She will sit in her highchair with her lips tightly closed. Even the popular pears and prunes are getting rejected. I'm not sure why that happened all of the sudden. At first I thought that she just wasn't hungry, but she'll take her bottle without any problems. Has this happened to any of you? She used to be a pretty good eater.

Monday, July 28, 2008 - Update

Look out boys!

Okay, so Olivia went swimming today. . .kind of. She has a huge inflatable giraffe pool. Before I tried to figure out how to use the air compressor to blow it up, fill it up, let the water warm up a bit, and lather sunscreen on Olivia. . .I wanted to see if she would even enjoy it. And, I wanted her to try on her swimsuit. So, we put on our swimsuits and played in the bathtub. I know. . .a little odd, but I've been looking for something different to do. She was a little confused at first as to why she had clothes on, but then she figured out that she could jump and splash in the water. I was hoping to get her to use her arms a bit more to splash, but no luck there. I just may have to break out the big pool.

The Big Cart Crack-Up

I wasn't going to post anything more today, but I had to share a story about our trip to Target. Ryan, Olivia and I went to Target to do some birthday shopping for Olivia. This is probably the only year that we will be able to take her with us. Ryan was holding Olivia and I grabbed a cart. As we ventured into the store, we noticed that our cart made a clunk, clunk noise. We didn't want to be annoyed by it the whole time, so we turned around to grab a new cart. As we did, Olivia started laughing loudly. We realized that she thought the cart was making a hilarious sound. Of course, we then had to keep the cart. As we walked around Target with our clunky cart, Olivia continued belly-laughing which cracked up not only Ryan and me, but a few other people in the store as well. A Target employee even asked us if she was laughing because we were laughing. We tried to explain that she was laughing at the cart. Her laugh is so sweet and infectious that she made many people smile tonight. I was so proud to be the mom of the laughing baby.

We ended up buying her quite a few toys and books for her birthday. I'm sure none of them will be quite as amusing as that silly, clunky cart.

More pics

The real party was downstairs at Izzy's house.
Arriving in style
Cutie pie Claire
Adorable Audrey

Soon, Olivia will be downstairs playing with the big kids. I can't wait for that day. I wish Logan was here. He would be the only great-grandson and I'm sure would love all the attention from so many girls.

Saturday, July 26, 2008 - Update

There were a lot of people at my cousin Izzy's house.
This is my Great Grandpa Jackson. He's really funny.

And my Great Grandma Jackson. Isn't she lovely?

Here's Izzy!

And my furry cousin, Abbey.

Great Grandpa with a sock monkey. . .so silly.

My family from Colorado was in town this weekend. We all met over at Donnie, Shelley and Izzy's house for dinner. Shelley is quite the amazing cook and hostess! My cousin's two little girls are absolutely precious. (I'd post pictures of them, but I forgot to ask permission and I always do that first.) We enjoyed ourselves and everyone was amazingly understanding! Thank you everyone. It was great to see you!

I also wanted to direct you to a blog of twin boys who were born 16 weeks too soon: Rhys and Bentley. Shortly after birth, Bentley joined my sweet Logan in heaven. His brother, Rhys, is needing our support and prayers. Please pray for this precious family.

Tomorrow is Stacie's birthday. Now, awhile ago I decided that I was only going to post birthday wishes to immediate family. I was afraid if I tried to do everyone than that would be all I did and if I forgot someone. . .I would feel awful. However, since this blog was Stacie's idea, I had to wish her a happy birthday on it. It's a special birthday after all. Turning 29 for the second year in a row deserves a celebration. . teehee.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STACIE!!

A Little Closer to Normal

Occasionally, I hear rumblings of criticism about Ryan and me. I should know that a certain amount of criticism comes with being a parent, but it still makes me feel bad. The majority of people have been overwhelmingly supportive and I've been so thankful for that. I think people expect us to be normal. Okay, so we were never really "normal" to begin with. Who else has five guinea pigs, two rats and a storage room full of Halloween props? But, that's beside the point. Do we struggle with depression? Yes. Do we have major obsessive compulsive tendencies? Yes. I think that given all that we've been through. . it could be a lot worse. As Ryan once said: There's a thin layer between being normal and completely breaking down. We do all that we can some days just to get through.

I watched my daughter, bruised and bleeding, struggle to survive. I watched my son pass away without ever getting to hold him. That changes you. We have a duty as parents to keep Olivia from getting a respiratory illness until her lungs are healed enough to handle it. We want to prevent her from getting sick until we're able to handle it. We can't pick and choose what illness she gets. . .so we protect her from everything. . .even if that means disregarding our own selfish desires to show her off to the world. That's tough at times. I feel sometimes that we're judged if we don't take her to certain places. I feel judged if we take her, but don't let people hold her. It's not like we're requesting people to wear scrubs, masks and gloves. We just ask that you don't come near her if you are sick and that you wash your hands before you touch her. I don't think that's asking too much. There have been too many instances where we've been around people who have gotten sick only hours later. Luckily, those people have been amazingly supportive and have respected our wishes. . .and Olivia has not gotten sick.

People tell me that they read my blog because I post exactly what I'm feeling. Well, this is what I'm feeling at this moment. . be it good or bad. I've been so lucky to have such supportive friends and family. Some people ask what they can do to help us. All we ask is that you try to understand so that we don't always feel like the bad guys. The next few months are going to be tough for us. Please keep us in your prayers and maybe someday we'll get a little closer to "normal."

Friday, July 25, 2008 - Update

Me, Marilee and Kerry Mommy finally found someone to play Whoonu with.

I was busy jumping.

I was thrilled to spend the afternoon with two of my friends, Marilee and Kerry. We went out to lunch and then came home and played a card game. I bought this card game years ago, but cannot ever find people to play it with. We had a really good time. I learned that Marilee does not like nuts or Saturday morning cartoons. Who knew? She likes to wear baseball caps, but does not like the World Series. Hmmm. . .I think Marilee got all of the interesting ones. I already knew that Kerry liked sleeping in and peanut butter. It was a good day.

Happy Birthday Katie!

Meeting Katie for the first time.
Love those baby blues!
Quite the horse lover!

Tomorrow (July 25th) is my niece, Katie's, birthday. Katie has the distinction of being the first of my nieces or nephews that I was able to meet as a newborn. I've enjoyed watching her grow up over the past 6 years. She's as tough as nails and as sweet as pie. I remember watching her during an Easter Egg Hunt when she was only 2-3 years old. I don't know that I had ever seen a young child so determined and competitive. That trait will serve her well in the future. We love you, Kate!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE!

Thursday, July 24, 2008 - Update

I can't be bothered. . .
I'm busy watching Baby Signing Time!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - Update

Sleep?

Who needs it.

Olivia hasn't been too kind to me the last few nights. She's waking up multiple times and seems to have a knack for waking me up just as I've fallen back to sleep. She started sleeping through the night mid-March and other than a few nights here and there, has been continuing to do so ever since. Of course, our first guess is that a tooth is coming in, but I don't know. This morning she awoke at 2 am (after waking up around midnight) and was wide awake and ready to eat. I cleared my day, pushed housework to the back burner and was going to nap when she naps. But, Olivia has decided that she doesn't need a nap. Is it wrong of me to put her in her jumperoo in hopes that she'll tire herself out? She's still going strong. Me? Not so much. :)

Tuesday, July 22, 2008 - Update

This rocking chair was my grandpa's when he was a little boy.
Then, it was my mommy's.

Now it's all mine! (Except mommy needs to take the Property of Jodi sticker off.)

We had Olivia's dreaded eye doctor appointment. . .poor girl just hates having anything done with her eyes. I brought my mom with me for reinforcement this time. Olivia cried, but it was nothing like last time. We didn't get very good news. Her eye crossing has gotten worse in the past month despite the patching. It's to the point that glasses alone would not correct it. So, Olivia is having strabismus surgery on Sept 4th. It's an outpatient procedure at Wesley Medical Center. . .boy, that will be a long day and one I will dread. I hated to learn that the surgery is successful only 70% of the time. Even when successful, they usually cannot make the eyes completely straight. We are continuing the patching every day until then to make sure she continues to use her vision in each of her eyes. The one good thing is that her tear ducts seemed to have opened, so they will not have to combine that surgery with the strabismus surgery. That is a blessing. I know all of this is fairly minor considering the numerous disabilities that she was at risk for. It's still difficult to know that she has to have any type of surgery.

Monday, July 21, 2008 - Update

Olivia was evaluated this morning by her physical therapist. She didn't have anything concerning to say about Olivia's progress. Olivia was proud to show off her rolling skills and even sat up unassisted momentarily. At her next evaluation, her physical therapist expects her to be mobile and a "handful." You know, when babies no longer stay where you put them, etc. I guess we'd better start baby-proofing the house pretty soon.

This morning I awoke to sad news about the passing of dear Marvin, who attends our church. We spoke to him quite a bit after Logan and Olivia were born. After he had oral surgery, we would tell him about how Olivia's feedings in the NICU were being increased and he would tell us that his feedings were increased as well. I know the church will miss him. I take comfort in knowing that he's in heaven. . .and he's with Logan. I just know that they have met one another. Since Logan's death, I have thought a lot about what heaven is like. I feel that it's too wonderful for us to even attempt to explain. Knowing that my sweet Logan is there provides me with something more tangible to relate to. It makes heaven even more desirable to me (if that's possible.)

What Is Heaven Like?

Olivia's Baptism

Here we are in our polka-dots!
Do you like my pretty dress?

Olivia was baptized today and we want to thank all of our friends and family who attended. It was a special day for us and meant a lot to have you there. God has big plans for our Olivia. . . just as He has for all of us. I pray that Ryan and I are able to help and guide her along the way. As we were putting her beautiful white dress on, Laura said, "It won't be long until you are putting her in another white dress." Surely, it doesn't happen that fast. . .or does it?

Since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way.
Colossians 1:9-10