Olivia's Birth Size Doll

Yesterday, we received Olivia's birth size doll from Wee Bundles. As many times as I tell people that her head was the size of a lemon and her legs were the size of fingers, I know it's still hard to imagine. Hopefully this doll will help people better understand the size of a micro-preemie. This doll was made to her exact birth size specifications and it is weighted at just 1 lb 1.5 oz. It was a little emotional receiving it in such a tiny box. I think Ryan and I even forget how small she was.

This is how small I was when I was born.

Here I am with my birth size doll!

Okay, I'll be serious for a moment.

I have definitely come a long way.

Okay, I'm ready to go wish grandma a Happy Birthday!

Friday, June 20, 2008 - Update

Lately, we've been trying to get Olivia to use her arms more. One suggestion was to get a tray for her Bumbo so that she could bang on it and play with toys. Sounds like a good idea. . .we have TONS of interesting toys for her to play with, but when we put her in her Bumbo, this is what she does.



We put her arms on the tray and a second later, she pulls them back again. Any ideas about her tendency to do this with her arms? I'm also concerned because she is almost 6 months adjusted and is still not rolling over. I truly believe that she'll do things in her own time, but I still worry about her not progressing. I just want to know that I'm doing everything that I can for her. Everytime I meet with her doctor he asks, "Is she rolling over? Is she grabbing for toys? Is she sitting up?" I want to help her meet those milestones, but I also want people to realize the huge milestones she has met thus far. When you think about it, how can we even expect her to behave like a full term baby born in December? You can't discount everything that happened in those 17 weeks and pretend that she was still snug in the womb.

Check back later this weekend and I will tell you what arrived in this tiny box.

Tomorrow is also my mom's birthday, so Happy Birthday Grandma Sailing! The three of us can't wait to celebrate with you tomorrow.

My Rats

Lucy the rat

Olivia the rat

This morning began with another trip to the vet. Let's see. . .do you want the bad news, the really bad news or the really, really bad news. As you know, one of my rats (Olivia the rat) has had problems with her eyes, she has 2 tumors and periodic bleeding. This trip to the vet, however, was because of my other rat, Lucy. This morning she was laboring to breathe and wouldn't eat. We found that Lucy has what is believed to be a tumor in her lungs. It is keeping her right lung from inflating properly and making it difficult to breathe. There is nothing that they can do for this. She may need to be put to sleep. We are just going to monitor her and make her as comfortable as possible.

Olivia the rat got a checkup as well. For as many problems as she has, she is still extremely happy-go-lucky. We have surgery scheduled for her on Thursday. The vet is going to remove her tumors and spay her. This will help with the bleeding. Our vet seems fairly confident that she will pull through this surgery just fine. The bad thing is, Olivia the rat would not do well without Lucy. Lucy is the mothering type. . .she takes care of her. She builds the little nest (of bedding and newspaper) that they sleep in each night and makes sure everything is tidy while Olivia the rat is goofing off and having fun. Both are just amazing pets. I know that many of you find that hard to believe, but I can't stress it enough. They're so intelligent and gentle and loving.

Part of me wishes that I didn't care so much, but I do. After Logan's death, I was afraid that I wouldn't feel anything. . .good or bad. . .ever again. Caring so much about animals gives me a glimpse into the person that I used to be. Good or bad, I don't ever want to lose that.

Thursday, June 19, 2008 - Update

Look at my cute slippers! Thanks Grandma Mary.

I just had to share that we bought an Exergen Temporal Scanner (thermometer) today. Olivia thinks it is so funny! When we scan her forehead she just laughs and laughs. That will make taking her temperature a lot easier. The three of us have had a wonderful day together.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008 - Update

Read more about Ryan and Alex's video game afternoon on Kim's blog.

What a pretty girl!
Just lounging around. . .

I don't know who that baby was at our house last night, but it wasn't our sweet Olivia Paige. . We worried a bit about her being sick, but everything was completely back to normal today. Because Ryan has a few days off, he invited his nephew over to play some video games. I guess that is one of the best things ever for an 'almost' 8 year old boy because he had been looking forward to it for weeks. They had a really good time and as Alex said, "They got a lot accomplished." Hopefully, we can spend more time with our nieces and nephews. They are truly the best bunch of kids in the world!

What A Crappy Evening

All I wanted all day were cheese fries from Dog-N-Shake. After Ryan got home from work we went on a walk. (It was during this walk that I told him how I wanted the next few days to be stress free. . .pshhh) We then jumped in his pickup to get dinner at Dog-N-Shake. While waiting in the drive-thru line, Olivia started screaming bloody murder. Once we got home, it continued. Ryan went to pull his pickup in the garage and it wouldn't start. The battery went dead. He was outside dealing with that and Olivia continued screaming inside. I gave her a bath and she calmed down. . .until I took her out of the water. I gave her Tylenol, we watched her Praise Baby video, I tried feeding her, burping her, singing to her, rocking her, walking around with her, etc. She cried for over 2 hours! This is not like her at all. I'm now pretty worried about her. Finally, she went to sleep about 9 pm. So much for our record-breaking 28 oz. day yesterday. She has only taken about 16 oz today and hasn't eaten since 5pm. Oh, and my cheese fries?? They sat on the dining room table until they were no longer edible.

**When Ryan went to AutoZone to buy a new battery, he stopped by Dog-N-Shake and brought home. . .cheese fries! What a great husband I have! We are all incredibly exhausted.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008 - Update

We've been working really hard on getting Olivia to support herself more with her arms. I've tried to make it as enjoyable as I can for her. I've learned that she is happier during tummy time 1) without pants on and 2) with music playing. I know that all babies love music, but Olivia seems to want music playing all the time. She isn't even interested in toys that don't play music.

Today is Ryan's last day of work. He'll then have a 5 day weekend before beginning his new job on Monday. Please pray that the transition goes smoothly. I cannot thank his previous company enough for all they have done for us. They allowed Ryan to work from home during RSV season in order to keep Olivia healthy. To everyone at ICS who reads this blog. . .Thank You!

Monday, June 16, 2008 - Update

I'm going to take this off now, okay?

This morning, at her 8 am bottle, Olivia took 6 oz. It may not sound like much, but this is the most she has ever taken. Then, she took another 6 oz. at her 11 am bottle. What a record-breaking day. Plus, she hasn't thrown up in over 2 weeks. Things are good here on the feeding front.

Also, if you wish to learn more about other amazing 23-weekers, below is a story about Jake and Josh, now 6 years old. (Thanks Ashle, for the link.) Sometimes it's hard to describe just how many obstacles Olivia has had to overcome and how miraculous her life is.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25063903/

She was on a ventilator for over 2 months. This scarred her tiny lungs, which is why we continue to keep her healthy. An illness could still send her back to the hospital. Like many micro-preemies, she too had a hole in her heart. Luckily, it closed with medication. Logan's did not and he had to have heart surgery (a PDA ligation) at just a few days old. She escaped NEC, which they monitored for very closely. She escaped brain bleeds. She had over a dozen blood transfusions. She will forever be scarred from the leads and monitors that were on her under-developed skin. Cerebral palsy, at least a mild form of it, cannot be ruled out until she is around 2 years old. Olivia was never reunited with her brother which is something that I dreamed about every day after they were born. But, after 105 days. . .we got to bring Olivia home. I will forever be grateful for that.

Happy Father's Day

Here's Ryan and Olivia in our game room in front of the arcade machine that Ryan built with the help of his brother-in-law, Kris. The game room is quickly turning into Olivia's play room. Just one of the sacrifices of fatherhood. :-)

Happy Father's Day to my dad, father-in-law, husband and all of the other amazing dads out there. I hope you have a wonderful day and take time to realize how truly blessed you are to be a dad. But, also how blessed we are to have you!

Saturday, June 14, 2008 - Update

My daddy's home!

I was thrilled to go pick my husband up at the airport yesterday. Ryan had been out of town since Sunday and was anxious to come home to his girls. He couldn't wait to see Olivia. . .all 14 lbs of her. (Yes, she is now over 14 lbs!) I was going to write about it last night, but just wasn't in the mood as I heard about the death of Haley Palmer. I had just recently found out about this little girl with cystic fibrosis and like many of you, was just getting to know her. Everytime I hear about the death of another child, I feel my heart breaking all over again. Before Logan's death, I think I was somewhat unaware of the amount of pain in this world. I mistakenly believed that if you prayed long enough and believed strong enough that God would heal those that needed it. I had trust in that. I had trust that the medical community always knew how to help those that were sick. Sometimes there are things beyond our control. I have learned that God never promises to heal us physically. He only promises to heal us spiritually.

Friday, June 13, 2008 - Update

My grandma and I were color coordinated.

What to do. . .what to do. . .

Thanks to everyone for their comments and emails. I feel incredibly blessed to have so many people willing to lend a hand or give a suggestion when needed. I have many things to try (and toys to buy.) I think Kerry had a really good point in suggesting that her arms were her security blanket. She comforts herself by sucking on her hands. Why wouldn't she want to keep them as close as possible? Aunt Kim also had a great suggestion about rolling up a blanket under Olivia's chest. She still gets a little fussy with it at times, but it helps keep her arms out in front. She was even reaching for toys. I think, too, that music is one of her favorite things and that's just something that she can't reach out and grab. Plus, she would rather play with people than alone with her toys. I'm sure that she'll do things in her own time. I just feel incredibly blessed to watch such an amazing little girl grow up each day.

Ryan's mom came over today and I had a long list of places I needed to go, things I needed to clean, organize and such. So, what did I do? I laid down in bed and took a long nap. Not too productive, but boy was it marvelous. I have had a headache every day this week and I just can't seem to shake them. I had to resort to Excedrin (which still hasn't helped) but I'm sure it will keep me up for hours tonight. I still find it ironic that my 9 month old daughter sleeps better than I do.

Thursday, June 12, 2008 - Update

I absolutely adore Kerry!

I recently told you about Olivia's modified crab walk that she does. Basically, while on her back, she'll lift her bottom off the floor and crawl backwards with her legs. Her physical therapist told me that I need to discourage her from doing that, but it's hard because Olivia loves it. She can basically get anywhere she wants to go and she's so proud of herself. One reason I believe she does this is because it allows her to get around without putting pressure on her arms. I'm not sure why she is always so hesitant about using her arms. She doesn't want to extend her arms (especially her left.) She doesn't want to support her upper body with her arms, reach for toys with her arms, bang on a table, etc. Any ideas about this or how to help her increase strength in her upper body? I also have a few questions that I'm hoping somebody will help me with.

1) What is the best thermometer to have for babies? I just have the under-arm one and it takes forever. It's hard to keep Olivia still for that long. She had a slight temperature of about 99.1 the other night and I want a thermometer that I can trust a little more.

2) Any idea where I can buy Sali-Wipes? I've looked and looked with no luck. We used them with Olivia in the NICU. They are basically individually wrapped saline wipes to help keep her eyes clean. At home I use saline solution and cotton balls, but that's kind of inconvenient to take in a diaper bag.

3) Any advice on how to increase strength in Olivia's arms. Her PT just said to position them under her during tummy time, but she doesn't want to keep them that way.

Thanks to all my loyal blog readers. You're the best!

Thirty Things You Ought To Know By The Time You're Thirty

Since many of my friends and I have turned 30 this year, I thought this would be fun to post. I have highlighted (in yellow) the ones that I have done or know how to do.

Here's a creative twist on a life "to-do" list: 30 things to know or do by the time you're 30:

1. To take your hat off while eating. I don't wear many hats, though.
2. To bring a hostess gift. I don't go to many parties.
3. Have a valid passport.
4. How to make small talk.
5. Your credit score.
6. And your blood type.
7. How to do laundry.
8. And scramble eggs.
9. Your parents' birthdays.
10. How to drive a stick shift.
11. And order a bottle of wine.
12. How to set up, and check, bank and credit card balances online.
13. How to wrap a gift. - Does it have to look really pretty?
14. Own a suitcase.
15. Have a local florist, not 1-800 FLOWERS. - Does the grocery store count?
16. How to negotiate. - I'm not a very good negotiator.
17. And compromise.
18. How to jump a car/change a tire.
19. Have a retirement plan. - My husband does. Does that count?
20. When to stop drinking.
21. How to file a complaint.
22. How to make a bed -- complete with hospital corners. - Does it have to look really pretty?
23. Own a pair of jeans you can wear out to dinner.
24. How to play a sport (excelling not required).
25. How much cologne is too much.
26. When you need a dinner reservation.
27. To tip the maid in a hotel.
28. To make exceptions for children, and seniors.
29. How to apologize.
30. How to give a good hug.

I have 23/30. . .not bad. It looks like I need to learn more about cars. Maybe I should have also learned how to NOT back into my father-in-law's generator with my car. (I did that last week.)

In other news, Olivia did well at her neurologist appt today. So far, they still do not see any signs of cerebral palsy. At her next appt in 6 months, they should be able to rule it out definitively. And, at the next appt (when she's 15 months) they only expect her to be at a 8-10 month level. Olivia is doing a lot of things great, such as smiling, laughing, eating, sleeping through the night. I'm sure that soon she'll start rolling over (although I learned today that this is not a developmental milestone) and reaching for toys. The doctor pulled out her car keys and dangled them in front of Olivia to see if she would reach for them. She didn't and I secretly applauded her. We don't know where those keys have been! Maybe that's the problem. . .Olivia takes too much after her parents.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - Update

What an awful, awful day. Olivia had an eye appointment today with her new doctor. Her previous one is leaving town and the new doctor is the only one here. I liked him okay. . .it wasn't that. Olivia just cannot stand to have her eyes messed with. . .she freaks out. It started with the ROP exams in the NICU. Shots, blood draws and such aren't a big deal at all to her, but shine a light and mess with her eyes and she can't handle it. It was awful. They had to hold her legs, arms and head down as she thrashed and yelled and cried. Afterwards, I couldn't get her calmed down and the doctor was trying to talk to me. I could tell that he was getting impatient with her. . I was getting impatient with her and I've never lost my patience with her before. Then I was mad at myself for getting impatient with her. . .it's not her fault. I will never go to another eye appt by myself. On top of everything, it was really hot in the room and I started getting a really bad migraine. She left crying, I was in tears. . . .I got home and couldn't get a hold of my husband or my mom. Olivia's Rainbows teacher left a message on the answering machine about how her eye appt went. Poor lady. I left a blubbering message for her because she's the first person I had to talk to.

Anyway, the patching starts again although now we are alternating eyes every day. If he doesn't see improvement next month when we go in, he's going to try her with glasses. That makes me sad as I can't even imagine that there are glasses small enough to fit her. She will probably also have to have strabismus surgery in a few months, but that can be combined with the surgery to unblock her tear ducts. He also prescribed eye drops to help with the matting of her eyes. I've been wanting some for months!

Olivia is calmed down now that we're home. I almost called to cancel her neurologist appt tomorrow morning because I think we've had enough for this week, but there's a $25 cancellation charge if it's less than 24 hours. Hopefully, I can get Olivia to take a good, long nap and I can get rid of this pounding headache.

The Gang's All Here

Some of the gang
All of the wild animals. . . .

Olivia and I went to the zoo today. All of the cousins (on Ryan's side of the family) were there. It got a little warmer than I anticipated, but we had a good time. Olivia especially liked all of the songs that the kids accessed with their zoo keys.

Monday, June 9, 2008 - Update

This morning, her teacher and physical therapist came out to evaluate Olivia. Overall, she was very impressed with what she saw. The only concern was that Olivia is not yet reaching for toys. They believe this may be related to her vision, so I have a list of questions to ask her eye doctor at tomorrow's appointment.

I have a few exercises to do with her to get her arms straightened underneath her. When she pushes up on her arms, she seems to roll right over. I am also supposed to sit up with her and place a toy on each of my legs and allow her body to twist (right arm reaches for toy on the left, left arm reaches for toy on the right) Of course, she needs to show an interest in reaching for those toys. She LOVES her Elmo and likes to look and laugh at him, but she doesn't seem to want to grab him. She loves to put her hands in her mouth and I was actually told that it's even a good thing when she tries to gag herself. This type of experimentation is good and will help move that gag reflex farther back in her mouth.

I'm happy to have so many exercises to work with her on. I always figured that if you gave your child tummy time, they would just naturally do all of these things and progress from one stage to the next. In this instance, I think because of her prematurity, she just needs a little more direction. I think because she is doing so well, we sometimes forget that she was born 17 weeks early and expect her to be doing more. She's had to overcome so much more than most babies and I am so very proud of her.

Sunday, June 8, 2008 - Update

Did my mom tell you?

I weigh about 13 lbs 10 oz!

For a child that is not yet rolling over, Olivia sure can get around. She scoots around and when on her back she can do a sort of crab walk. I've never met a child so close to rolling over who isn't rolling over. That has to be some sort of developmental milestone in and of itself.

I've also started strapping her into her bouncy seat. I feel like I'm always strapping her into something. . .her car seat, her stroller, her swing, etc. So, I haven't been using the straps on her bouncy seat. She is usually only in it while I'm getting ready in the morning and I can see her at all times. Well, today she was on her way to scooting herself out of it, so I had to use the straps. You'd think I was trying to cage a wild animal. . .she was not happy about it at all. She's going to be mobile before I know it. . .rolling or not.

Olivia's cousins

Shelley and Izzy
Izzy napping with her friends.

I promise. . .I will get pictures of Olivia posted soon. I've been slacking, I know. In the meantime, I've included some pictures of Olivia's adorable cousin, Izzy. Also, visit my sister-in-law, Kim's blog and enjoy pictures of the rest of Olivia's cousins.

Arte Y Pico Award

I honestly didn't know what to write about today. It was a fairly uneventful day, but this evening was fun. I went out to dinner with Ryan, Joel and Laura. They are currently watching Indiana Jones, but I decided to come home to Olivia. Although she was in GREAT hands, I just hated to be apart from her that long. When I checked all of my usual blogs, I found that Heather had presented me with an award. Thanks, Heather.

I remember years ago, I asked my husband what a blog was. At that time, I truly didn't know as they were not well known. He explained that it was a kind of on-line diary about your life that people can read. I thought, "Why would anyone want to read about my life?" I wish my life was as uneventful as it was back then, but I am grateful for the 50,000+ visits that I've received.

Arte Y Pico Award

So in receiving this award there are some rules.You must.....

1. Chose 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award for their
creativity, design, interesting material, and also contribute to the blogging
community, no matter what language.

2. Each award has to have the name of the author and a link to his/her blog
to be visited by everyone.

3. Each award winner has to show the award and put the name of and link to
the blog that presented her/him with the award.

4. The award winner and one who has given the prize has to show the link of Arte Y Pico blog so everyone will know the origin of this award.

5. To show these rules.

So, without further ado I would like to present this award to these 5 people. I have chosen 5 people who have also given birth prematurely. I thank them for spreading awareness and allowing us to get to know their precious children. I wish I could pick more than 5 because there are so many wonderful preemie blogs.

Julie at Life is Good.

Casey at Quilao Triplets.

Eric and Tobie at Chasing Babies.

Chris and AnnMarie at Pray For Coy.

Bree at The Story of a Little Man Named Lincoln.

Where is that Energizer Bunny?

I can't ever remember to charge my iPod so I haven't been able to use it. I keep leaving my laptop unplugged and the battery runs out. Olivia's rainforest soother in her crib plays the song in slow motion because it needs new batteries. I haven't posted any new pictures of Olivia because. . .you guessed it. . .my camera needs new batteries. Today, Olivia and I took two naps together totaling over 4 hours! Well, at least it's not only me that needs recharged.