Thursday, September 18, 2008 - Update

Ooooh, this is soft.
Thanks for my blanket, mommy!

Just hangin out with my penguin buddy.

It's becoming increasingly difficult to answer questions from people who don't know us very well. "How many children do you have?" "How old is your daughter?" I've also learned that I can't talk about "when I had a baby." I didn't have a baby, I had two babies and leaving out that bit of information feels like I'm leaving out Logan. But, to mention him. . .I would have to delve into issues that I'd rather not discuss sometimes. I've found that I can't even partake in idle chitchat anymore.

Last night, while we were checking out at Dillon's, the cashier just wouldn't quit asking me questions. I knew the question was coming. . .how old is your daughter? After saying that she was a year old, he came out and said that she was tiny for a one year old. At least, he said it out loud instead of giving me those long, awkward stares. However, when I try to explain how premature she was, people don't have any idea what that means. So, then I just get blank, dumbfounded stares. I can't say that I would have fully understood a few years ago, so I can't fault people for that. It just makes for some awkward moments and makes me feel that much more out of place in this world. Sometimes I just don't know what to say.

What if. . .

What if. . . .Ryan and I had grown up in our parents' generation. . .

(Yes, that's really me.)

(Did they have goatees back then?)

And if Olivia had grown up in ours:


I first saw this on Lincoln's blog and had too much fun with it! Try it yourself at:

http://www.yearbookyourself.com/

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 - Update

Bachelor #1: Titus

Future in chiropractic care, mesmerizing blue eyes, good family, cute as can be.

Bachelor #2: Kerrick

Proud March for Babies supporter, true gentleman, good family, cute as can be.

Weighing her options

Yesterday, I had the chance to have dinner with friends. The four of us have met for dinner about every month since 2000. I also managed to squeeze in an appointment with the chiropractor. I enjoyed seeing Titus and Kerrick. . .they are both getting so big. I can't wait until Olivia can have playdates with them.

I have been craving iced tea lately, so Olivia and I made a trip to McAlisters. I'm not a huge fan of their food, but their iced tea (unsweetened, thank you) is absolutely delicious. So, I bought a whole gallon of it. Thanks, Olivia, for being so patient while we ran our errands today.

Happy Birthday Rebekah!

Rebekah is sort of the caboose on the family birthday train and her birthday is tomorrow. We have 5 birthdays. . .spaced exactly one week apart: Izzy, Olivia, Aidan, Kris and Rebekah. Rebekah is the cousin that Olivia probably looks the most like. I remember holding Rebekah on a blanket in her front yard shortly after she was born. Unlike her sister, Julia, she was a little more hesitant about me. We bonded when she was between 1-2 years old because of my cell phone. I went over to Ryan's parents' house once a week for dinner and Rebekah was over there. My cell phone would play music and she would dance to it. Everytime I came over, she would look for my cell phone and sit on my lap while I let her play with it. We've been close ever since. . except now instead of playing with my cell phone, she would rather play with my Barbies and my My Little Ponies (and feed the guinea pigs.) She started kindergarten this year and is one of the sweetest girls I know! She started the prayer beads for Olivia and Logan shortly after they were born. She's always doing extremely thoughtful deeds and we love her dearly. Happy Birthday, Rebekah!!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008 - Update

My first jean jacket (Thanks Kate!)

Olivia has certainly developed her own opinions lately. For instance, her most recent wild and crazy idea is that she no longer needs to drink her bottle or eat any baby food for that matter. I believe it's due to tooth #2, but it is becoming increasingly frustrating. She's also become a hair puller, diaper dodger, lap squirmer and during bath time. . .a mommy soaker. Honestly, I'm thrilled to see her progressing in these ways. . .except for the bottles. I still worry about her caloric intake as she's barely gained a pound in a month and a half. Let's hope this tooth wiggles its way in and doesn't cause anymore problems (if indeed that's what it is.)

Monday, September 15, 2008 - Update

Here I am ready to go!

Me and my gorilla friends

Mr. Gorilla

Our trip is never complete without checking on Olivia the giraffe!

Today, we had a mommy-daughter day at the zoo. The weather was gorgeous and there weren't many people there. Our main focus was the gorillas as Olivia has never seen them before. The path in the gorilla forest is pretty bumpy and Olivia found the stroller ride extremely hilarious. The gorillas were incredibly active today. One of them threw a barrel into the glass at a little boy across from us. I'm kinda glad he didn't do that to Olivia because she might never have wanted to go back and see them. The highlight of the trip, however, was because of another little boy. Of course, Olivia always wears her sunglasses outside and I guess most people think sunglasses on a baby are a hoot. We got many smiles and laughs. Then, this little boy walked up to me and said, "Awesome baby!" I'm sure he was referring to her sunglasses. I thanked him and then almost started crying. You know, I thought, she is pretty awesome!

I'm also happy to report that my dad starts his new job on Wednesday. He'll be doing what he loves the most. . .painting cars. I have to say. . .Olivia and I will miss seeing grandpa on a regular basis, but we were thrilled with the news. Good luck, grandpa!

Sunday, September 14, 2008 - Update

Name that caption?

(1) Who knew I had all these toys

(2) Mom, I have a great idea!

Name that caption

(1) Now that I can see to play with all this stuff, I am exhausted! - Cristi

(2) Let's play hide-n-seek. You hide first! - Kerry

As much as I hate to say it, it seems that Olivia's eyes have started crossing a bit lately. I know that a little crossing is expected, but we were so optimistic about never having to deal with it again. I think she has a 30% chance of another surgery at some point, but then again, I don't pay too much attention to percentages. Please continue to pray for her eyes.

I don't know why I'm dreading the upcoming RSV season so much. I mean, we made it through last year, surely we can do it again. The more I think about it, last year we spent 105 days at the hospital, so just the fact that we could be with Olivia at home was more than we could ask for. I was thrilled not to have to go anywhere. Plus, Ryan's previous job allowed him to work from home when needed. This year, Olivia wants to do more things so it will be harder to keep her isolated. I just keep telling myself that this should be the last crucial season that we have to worry about. And, it's only mid-September, so we still have a little bit of time before we turn back into a family of hibernating bears.

G is for Giraffe

Today we had Olivia's Halloween costume "fitting." I wanted to make sure she wouldn't outgrow it by Halloween. It's still a little big, so it should fit perfect by then. The costume is just one of the amazing gifts that we've received from the Omli's. Some of you that began reading the blog at a later date, are probably wondering. . why giraffes? So, here is the post that I wrote explaining about just that:

(Blog post written Sept 26, 2007) When we were planning the nursery, we knew we wanted an animal theme because that would fit a boy and a girl. Well, it kind of turned into a giraffe theme because everything we started buying had a giraffe on it. We also bought a large 4 – 5 ft stuffed giraffe (Mr. Giraffe.) We kind of joked about the kids not being able to get away from giraffes. Shortly after they were born, Olivia was put on the blue lights that had a giraffe on it. She was then moved to her isolette that is the Giraffe brand. Then, they gave her an isolette cover that had, you guessed it, giraffes all over it. So, we have this weird connection to giraffes and today we learned that there was a baby giraffe born at the Sedgwick County Zoo. They named this baby giraffe. . . Olivia. I don’t know what all of it means, but it is all very intriguing.

I also ran across this picture taken December 2005 during our trip to Orlando. Of all the cutouts like this that we saw, I found it funny that I would have my picture taken with a giraffe.

Then, my dad found this picture of him as a baby. Hmmm. . .interesting that he had a picture taken in his high chair with. . .a giraffe. One of the many questions I have to ask God is "Why giraffes?"

Friday, September 12, 2008 - Update

Rain, rain, go away!

We're getting quite a bit of rain in our part of the world. Many of the roads and intersections are closed and the rain is expected to continue throughout the weekend. I hope all of you are safe and able to make it home from work! I also have a few blogger friends who live in the path of Hurricane Ike. Thinking of you! I guess the weather is all that I have to talk about today.

Head on over to Kerry's blog and Stacie's blog (yes, Stacie now has a blog for those of you who don't know! It's listed under Family and Friends called Everything and Nothing.) They have pictures and additional statistics on our crazy amount of rain.

Just when you thought she couldn't get any cuter. . .

I can't tell you how much videos like this warm my heart. What some people might not understand are the grim outcomes given to micro-preemies. Logan and Olivia were given a 30% chance of survival. I didn't know if I would ever be able to take my babies home. . .these babies that I prayed for with my whole heart. We were handed a booklet after they were born. We called it the "bad" book that listed everything that they were at risk for. As 23-weekers, they had a 90% chance of a major disability! We accepted that. We would still love them with all that we had and would provide them with all that we could. After losing Logan, we needed Olivia. I've mentioned before how this tiny little girl carried her mom and dad through their darkest days. I knew that I may never be able to teach her to jump rope or ride a bike or take her shopping for a prom dress. But, I would give her the best life that I could. Then, one day she could breathe on her own. . .and drink from a bottle. . .then she smiled and laughed. One day she rolled over. Today she's sitting up and grabbing everything that she can find. . .and she'll talk your leg off. She especially likes to talk about her wonderful daddy. No matter what the future holds for Olivia and others like her that are born so very early. . .we will love them and celebrate every milestone that's met. I celebrate all of you micro-preemies. You're the strongest people I know!

~She's laughing at my goofy faces. . .or maybe it's because I'm just plain goofy. . .

Ooops

I forgot that chocolate gives me quite the headache. . .

Wednesday, September 10, 2008 - Update

You'd better be nice to my mama!

At the store today, I picked myself up some chocolates. I needed them. . .I had that kind of day. Olivia had her post-op eye appointment this morning. I had worried about that because you know how she is with eye appointments, but it went great. The doctor thought her eyes looked great and she acted like such a big girl and hardly cried at all. It was MY doctor's appt. that didn't go so well. Actually, at a doctor's appt, you'd actually get to meet with the doctor. Ryan's mom came over to watch Olivia and I drove all the way across town apparently to just have blood work done. . .blood work that I had already had done. . .some of it just last week. I don't know where the major screw-up was. You know, it takes a lot to make the decision to go to a doctor for help and then I can't even get in. Then, they say I can get in, but not really. After all I've been through. . .I don't know. I'm not asking for preferential treatment, but there are some things that people go through in life and they just need to be treated with a little extra care. I try to relieve some stress and it only causes me more. I'll just eat my chocolates and hug my little girl and it'll be fine. If not, well, those people will have to answer to Olivia. . .and she can give one evil eye! (Especially the day after her surgery.)

Today is a good day, though, because it's Uncle Kris's Birthday!! Happy Birthday!!

(Sorry, not a very good segue into that.)

Olivia's Progress

You would not believe the change in Olivia after her surgery. It is amazing. She is grabbing onto her toys and shows interest in everything around her. She is also sitting up completely on her own for long periods of time. I continue to be blown away. How can this be? Well, I ran across the following article.

Babies' Development 'Catches Up' After Surgery To Fix Crossed Eyes

Here is one of Olivia's first attempts to sit up completely by herself. What a big girl!!

The Many Smiles of Olivia Paige

Olivia's feeling a lot better today. I don't think you can discount the effect that weather has. Whenever the temperature drops, children just seem fussier. She may also be getting another tooth. Mom, you have no idea how much having those enchiladas for dinner helped. That was one less thing to worry about yesterday. And Shelley? The chicken pot pie was delicious and we are so grateful to you! You both have no idea!

To add to our stress, we believe one of my guinea pigs (Morgan) had some sort of stroke. She is unable to move and when she tries to, she falls over and flails her legs. With Olivia's surgery/recovery, I just haven't had the chance to get her into the vet. We have gone way over lately in our veterinary budget. . .okay, so we don't have a vet budget, but if we did, we would be way overdrawn. Note to self: Don't have so many animals around the same age. They will all become elderly at the same (and most inconvenient) time. Luckily, she doesn't seem to be in pain and is still eating very well.

In happier news, you wouldn't believe how well Olivia is pushing up on her arms. I had no idea that eye surgery would equal such better use of arms. It's amazing!

Monday, September 8, 2008 - Update

Crabby, crabby, crabby. Olivia woke up extremely irritable and has remained that way for most of the day. I ended up calling her eye doctor because her right eye looks just awful. As long as it's not actively bleeding or draining, I guess we're okay. Anyway, nine hours and two naps later, Olivia seems a bit more content.

We met with PT this morning and she cried during the entire visit. She wouldn't even roll over for her. I can't say that any of the exercises that I've done with her have helped. Olivia seems to do things when she feels it's time. Her PT does not believe that her delayed development is anything physical. She should be capable of moving, her mind just hasn't wrapped itself around the idea. I'm supposed to put her through the motions in hope that one day she will get it. I wonder sometimes how much doctors and therapists even know about 23 weekers since they make up such an extremely small percentage of the population. Are we expecting too much for her or not enough? On days like this, I feel defeated. I am dreading the upcoming RSV season as we will have to go back into hibernation (for hopefully the last time.) It's like a dark tunnel that I'm approaching. I'm still struggling with extreme fatigue and being stuck inside the house all winter most likely will not do much to help.

Sunday, September 7, 2008 - Update

Mommy and Me
Hangin out with dad.

Jumping on the bed!

Olivia's right eye does not look very good today. It is very red. They gave us this ointment to put in her eye four times a day, which we do faithfully. We are supposed to pull down her lower lid and put a "ribbon of ointment" along the bottom. That's easier said than done. When she's thrashing her head about and squeezing her eyes tightly shut, we are lucky to get some on her eyelashes in hopes that it makes it into her eye. Couldn't we have gotten eye drops as well? We also have to keep her from rubbing her eyes, which we can do when she's awake, but I don't know what she does in her crib. We could have gotten arm restraints, however, Olivia calms herself by sucking on her hand and the arm restraints would prevent her from doing that. Her doctor suggested putting socks on her hands, which we are currently doing. I'm sure that might help for a few minutes at least. It's hard to do because we're trying to encourage her to use her hands more. Any suggestions? I'm pretty stressed about the whole thing. Olivia, however, still seems to be her usual happy self which I am thrilled about.

Saturday, September 6, 2008 - Update

Birthday Girl
Loyal blog reader, Mary Anne, and husband James.

Birthday Boy

The world just didn't seem right without a smiling Olivia. She's not 100% recovered, but today she was full of smiles and laughs. In just two days, we've noticed some amazing strides. She is actually showing interest in toys that don't make noise. She stares at objects a little more intently and she's starting to push up on her arms to see certain things. I can't believe that her vision was hindering her that much, but only time will tell.

Ryan attended the birthday party of our nephew, Aidan, and our niece, Rebekah. Olivia and I were unable to attend as she's still recovering. Sorry that we missed everyone, but I hear Olivia was a big topic of conversation. It's such a joy to learn that Olivia is not only a blessing to her family, but to everyone who knows her.

Eye See Smiles Again

I'm feeling much better today. Thank you for all of your prayers.
Mom and dad even got me to smile. . .

and laugh!

So Sad

Olivia is doing better today and is sort of acting like herself again. . .minus the smiles. Poor thing just seems so very sad. I can't tell you how many times my heart has broken. Olivia woke me up about every hour with crying and moaning. She still needs constant attention and reassurance from us. Thankfully, Ryan went ahead and took another day off work to help us out and because he didn't sleep all that well either. He is also struggling with a sore throat.

We are really hoping this surgery is successful. Because her eyes were not moving well together, it affected her depth perception. We are hoping that by correcting it, we will see an increase in her reaching for objects and a positive effect on her development overall. Please continue to pray for her.

Home Sweet Home

What a long day! It's nice to be home. I have to say that Olivia was an angel all morning even though she was tired and hungry. I was so proud of her. We enjoyed seeing many of the NICU nurses who came to visit Olivia today. I have to say, it was very difficult watching the nurse walk down the long hall with her to the operating room.

The doctor came in to get us about an hour later. He had that "everything went fine, but. . " look on his face. . .you know the look. The surgery went well, but afterwards Olivia developed a rash all over her body. They weren't able to pinpoint what caused it, but we have a list of everything that was given to her. After they gave her a steroid shot and some Benadryl, the rash slowly began to go away. We have to continue the Benadryl at home, along with Tylenol and eye drops. It breaks my heart to see her blood-tinged tears.

When we went into the recovery room, Olivia was not herself. She was pretty combative from the anesthesia. Her arms were flailing and she was screaming, however, there's nothing that the ant song can't do. She just wanted her mommy and we got her back to sleep. She slept and slept and slept in the recovery room. We finally had to wake her up and have her take a bottle before we could go home. We headed for home around 4:00 pm. We are all pretty tired and Olivia has been asleep since we arrived home.

Ashle, Trinity, Me and Mommy. Trinity is also a Wesley NICU graduate who was born at 23 weeks. She had eye surgery today too. I just know that someday we're going to be great friends.

Daddy, mommy, me and a giraffe. Can you believe that there was a giraffe in the room?

They gave me some medicine before my surgery to help me remain calm when they took me away from mom and dad. It made me a little loopy. I wasn't even that hungry anymore.

Surgery was tough. Afterwards, I just wanted my mommy.

All I wanted to do was sleep, but eventually they woke me up and gave me a bottle.

Here I am finally at home, but I'm still not very happy. Surgery is no fun.

Olivia's Surgery

Thank you to everyone praying for Olivia as she goes in for surgery tomorrow. Many of you have requested addtional information about this surgery. The following two links have a little more information for those of you interested.

Pediatric Strabismus surgery

Strabismus surgery

We will arrive at the hospital tomorrow at 9:30 am (although we might go a bit sooner and swing by the NICU.) Her surgery is scheduled for 11:30 am. Hopefully, we'll be home by early evening. Thank you so much for all of your prayers.

Happy Birthday, Aidan!

I can't believe Aidan is turning 3 today. Wasn't he Kaleb's age yesterday? What a sweet boy he is. He's the only one I know who may be a bigger Cars fan than my dad. He is such a funny, imaginative, sweet, laid back little boy. We love you, Aidan. Have a great birthday!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008 - Update

What year is it? 2008? Are you sure? Because I watched 90210 last night and right now I'm listening to New Kids On the Block's new album. Tamar and Tiffany? We should be listening to this together. For some reason, we felt that we each had to have dibs on our favorite New Kid. Tiffany had Donnie and I think Tamar and I fought over Jordan. I must have won because Tamar had Jon. :) Talk about a blast from the past. That has been what I've needed this week. . .thoughts of simpler times, although I wouldn't trade in the life I have now with my husband and amazing daughter. Who would want to be a pre-teen again anyway? Although I'm not quite looking forward to Olivia's surgery tomorrow. Please keep us in your prayers.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008 - Update

Did you like to watch me jumping? Jumping in just my diaper is my favorite.

Olivia slowly seems to be getting over her cold. She still has a bit of a runny nose, but seems fine otherwise. Hopefully, it won't be enough to keep her from having her strabismus surgery on Thursday. Wow, I am so nervous about that. She can't eat anything after midnight and her surgery is not until 11:30 am. That's almost 12 hours of not eating!! She can have water, juice or Pedialyte until 5:30 am, but do I really want to wake her up for that? We plan on keeping her up (or waking her back up) for one more bottle around midnight. She usually takes her last bottle at 8:30 pm. We are all going to be an emotional wreck that day. And, that's just getting her to the surgery. I'm completely nervous about the surgery and recovery. I don't want to see her back on a ventilator. . .even if it's only for a short time. I know it's a fairly routine surgery, but I just want it over with.

I also ask that you keep my dad in your prayers as he searches for new employment. He was with the same company for over 30 years, but the last 5 years have been difficult as the industry has changed so much. He works in the auto collision industry as a painter. Sometimes I don't know why he'd want to work in a hot, un-airconditioned shop around any and every kind of person, but he loves what he does. To him, it is an art form and a skill. . . .so much more than just a job. Doesn't anybody appreciate that anymore? If your car was in the shop, wouldn't you want someone who takes pride in their work instead of someone who doesn't know what they're doing and does it as fast as possible? The last shop he worked at closed down last month after promises of a new shop. Please pray that he finds something soon and that he is able to continue doing what he loves to do. So, I guess my whole family needs extra prayers this week.

Jumping for Joy

Before viewing video, be sure to scroll down and pause the music!

Thanks to our family who took a 'leap of faith' at Olivia's birthday party.

*I hope you all have been enjoying the video. I always get these crazy ideas/visions and my wonderful husband always makes them happen. So, thank you, Ryan, for putting the video together. I wonder who has watched this video the most times? Who can't get this song out of your head? The song is from one of my childhood records called Animals by Candle with the Agapeland Singers. It sells on ebay for about $40.00, so it must be difficult to get nowadays.