Thursday, November 8, 2007 - Update and Pictures

Well, it looks like Miss Olivia may have to go back on CPAP. She does beautifully on nasal cannula. . . .saturates at 100%. . .when she’s awake. Once she goes to sleep, she gets too relaxed and forgets to breathe. This is one of the reasons that we haven’t been able to hold her. Instead of CPAP, they may try her on a high flow nasal cannula. We don’t know yet. I feel so bad for her because she seems so much more comfortable off of CPAP, however, you can only watch your child stop breathing so many times. Like I told my dad tonight, she is Super Baby, but she is only human. Olivia is still doing fabulous. She was so alert and content tonight. I couldn’t decide which pictures to share. I got to dress her in her first outfit. She didn’t fuss at all when I was putting it on and I think she even liked it. Actually, she is getting very accustomed to mom and dad and pretty much lets us do what we want. While we were there, she was maintaining her body temperature very well. Please pray that her apnea/bradycardia episodes become few and far between. . .even if that means going back on CPAP. Please keep her in your prayers and enjoy the pictures of sweet Livi!

"Hi Mom. Hi Dad. I've been waiting for you."

This is my mom changing my diaper. I don’t fuss when mom or dad change my diaper anymore. In fact, I like to leave a present for dad and then right after he cleans me up. . .I like to leave another present for mom.

I’ve got my eye on you.

Oh, daddy. . .you’re hilarious!

This is my mom dressing me for the first time.

Uh, mom? What happened to my hand?

Man, now I know why they call this a sleeper.

Mom. . .you make me so happy.

Okay, I just can’t stay awake any longer. Goodnight.

Thursday, November 8, 2007 - Update

13 comments!!! Wow, that warrants another update. It’s called positive reinforcement. Plus, so many things are happening I have a hard time remembering them at the end of the day. Olivia continues to succeed on nasal cannula. She has had about 4 desat episodes since midnight, but that is still less than what is allowed. For those who have wondered, a nasal cannula is a plastic, flexible tube with prongs that fit in the nose and delivers supplemental oxygen. No pressure, no extra breaths. . .just Olivia breathing on her own with some extra oxygen. She is currently on 25 ml per minute. This is down from the 75 ml per minute that she started off on. They also changed her feeding today to 33 cc and instead of being fed over the course of 2 hours, she is being fed over 30 minutes. This is more like a regular feeding will be. And if her respiration rate stays under 60, they will begin nipple feeding by bottle or breast. We told them to be sure to call us when she was ready for that because we want to be there. I’d love to be the first to feed her. I’m not sure how much breastfeeding I will get to do since they have to add special care formula to my breast milk for extra calories. It looks like my relationship with Mr. Pump will continue on. Olivia also gained another 40 grams last night and is now up to 3 lbs 8 oz. And. . .we should be able to dress her tonight!!! Grandma Glunt gave us a few outfits (oh, I can’t wait to show you her pink, butterfly sleeper) and our neighbors, David and Denise Omli (wonderful neighbors) left a present on our doorstep. They managed to find not only a giraffe gift bag, but a sleeper with giraffes on it along with adorable outfits!! Thank you so much. I’m trying to keep up on all of my thank yous, but the overwhelming kindness from so many people is making it difficult.

Boy, it seems like everyone knows this new mother of triplets! I can’t wait to meet her. I believe that one of her babies (a little boy) is in the bed next to Olivia. What an adorable little boy! Olivia might want to keep in touch with him. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I was able to have all of my 3 babies. I feel that in my mourning of Logan, I don’t ever acknowledge the 3rd baby that I lost. I say that Olivia was a twin, but in truth she was a triplet. If you all remember, I miscarried Baby B before 8 weeks. Not that I’m complaining. I feel so blessed for the precious little girl that I have. My father, as many of you know, is a great musician. He is the best piano player I have ever known and he used to write and compose songs. The words of one of his songs rings true for me. “If I never had another blessing, I’d still have all I need.” I hope Olivia grows up knowing how much of a blessing she is to not only her daddy and me, but to so many other people. Oh, and don’t worry, pictures are a’coming.

Late-Afternoon Update: She's had 7 apnea/bradycardia spells since 10:00 am. During one of them, they had to bag her for over a minute to get her back up. Usually, that warrants going back on CPAP, but he believes it may be because of the change in her feeding. She didn't seem to like being fed over 30 minutes. Sometimes, their tummies fill up too fast and their diaphragm pushes on their lungs making it difficult to breathe. They changed her feeding back to the 2 hour schedule and are going to see if that helps.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007 - Evening Update

I have great news to report tonight. Dr. Dorn called us this afternoon to tell us that Olivia was coming off of CPAP. Yep, she is now on nasal cannula and doing fabulous. What wonderful news! After we quit dancing around and singing the theme to Rocky (she’s quite the fighter,) we had to call our parents and let them know. Dr Dorn even mentioned that if she continues to do well, we may be discussing the move to the special care nursery as early as next week. I don’t know if we’re quite ready for that, but like all parents. . . .we have to let her grow up. As much as we want her home, we hope it’s not until AFTER my baby shower. Ryan and I realized today that we do not yet have everything quite ready for her homecoming.

We went up to see her tonight and were unable to get in due to the admission of triplets (two of these babies are on the same team as Olivia.) We had to wait out in the waiting room for about an hour, but while we were there we talked to some other moms. I met one mom who gave birth to twins (boy and girl) at 23 weeks about a month after I did. This was after her struggle with infertility and 3 rounds of IVF (I believe.) Wow. . .it was amazing to talk to someone who really understood. She even talked about how she needed to get home to pump. I thought I was the only one who thought about that. Please pray for her two little ones.

Anyway, we finally got in to see Olivia and she was beautiful. You can see her face so well. She loved having us there tonight and when we would take our hands out of her isolette, she would get really squirmy until we got back in with her. I read her story to her and she loved that. There was a part in the book where Reddy Fox stuttered and after I read that part, she just grinned from ear to ear. She continues to amaze us day after day. I think we can finally see a little glimmer of light at the end of this long, dark tunnel. What an amazing little girl we have and what an amazing God we have who blessed us with this absolute angel.

Now you CPAP, now you don't!

Wednesday, November 7, 2007 - Afternoon Update

I just thought I’d send a quick update on this glorious day. I woke up feeling fantastic this morning. . .no more scratchy throat. I slept for 8 hours straight which I haven’t done for oh, about 10 weeks. Of course, I slept right through my alarm and didn’t get up to pump which isn’t too good, but I think it’ll be okay. I also learned this morning that Olivia gained 85 grams last night! This puts her at about 1550 grams although I’m not going to get too excited until she continues on this upward trend. I’m so proud of her and I’m so glad that I get to go see her today. Although I’m not too fond of this colder weather. . .I love fall clothes. They are just so comforting. I went to put on some of my fall clothes, however, and many of them did not fit. What is it about having babies that makes all your clothes shrink? Yes, I’m sure that had to be what happened. A shopping spree. . .that’s what I need, but not for me because I’m too excited about dressing Olivia. She’s going to be so pretty in pink!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007 - Update

I am sitting here all alone tonight as I type this update. I woke up this morning with a scratchy throat, so I couldn’t go see my daughter and I’m just heartbroken. I don’t know if I’m truly sick or if it’s just allergy drainage, but I don’t want to take the chance. Ryan is up with her right now and I know that she loves her daddy. He’ll read her story to her (we’re now on Peter Cottontail) and let her know that she is loved. I still miss her so much!!!

I do have wonderful news to relay. She had another eye exam today and the ROP has not progressed past Stage 1. This does not mean that we’re in the clear, but it is still fantastic news. Olivia also had to have her Hepatitis B vaccination today. The nurse gave her a pacifier with sucrose and said that Olivia did very well and that she has actually gotten more upset over a diaper change. She is still on a PEEP of 4. Last night she had a nose bleed. . .those prongs have to be so uncomfortable. Olivia did lose 10 grams last night and they are a little concerned about her growth again. They removed her OG tube today because, along with excess gas, it is also removing some of the milk she’s being fed. They believe that she might also be anemic. Tomorrow they will check her levels and she will have another transfusion, if needed.

Ryan just returned from his visit with Olivia and had two surprises for me. The first surprise was a note from one of our favorite nurses commending me for being such a good mom. I don’t feel like a very good mom since I didn’t go see my daughter today, but I really don’t want to get her sick. Also, people donate and/or make quilts for all of the babies in the NICU. Well, Olivia had a quilt made especially for her by the mother and grandmother of an NICU nurse. How special is that? We also ask for continued prayers for Olivia’s neighbor.

Olivia continues to do so well. I am not naïve enough to believe that she could come out of this whole thing completely unscathed. I mean, she was born 17 weeks early. . .17 WEEKS!! But, her progress has continued to amaze me and I pray every day that she will be okay. I pray that I am given the wisdom and the support to face whatever obstacles that we encounter. I know that I love Olivia more than I ever thought possible and I will do my best to give her every opportunity in life. Ryan and I are committed to her 110% and will be the best parents that we can possibly be.

Monday, November 5, 2007 - Update

I was able to spend the afternoon and evening with my precious daughter. Olivia continues to do very well, although she has been struggling more lately on her lowered CPAP setting. She has had more desats, apneas and bradycardias lately although the frequency of these episodes is still below what they consider the norm. Olivia has not been gaining weight as well lately either. She’s only gained 25 grams within the last 3 days which puts her about 25 grams shy of the 1500 gram mark. Previously, she had been gaining almost 40 grams per day. They increased her feeding to 31 cc and may increase it again depending upon what her weight is tonight. Please pray that she continues to grow like she should as this is very important for her development. Olivia managed to pull her OG tube out about 3 times today and even managed to get her feeding tube out as well. One of the nurses had to hold her arms down when they put the OG tube back in because of the force Olivia was using to push them away. Everyone remains to be very impressed by my sweet Olivia. There are not many long term studies or even any data on 23-weekers. Many places do not even resuscitate babies born before 24 weeks. I hope babies like Olivia change people’s minds and prove that every baby should be given a chance. Olivia has a little friend with her in her isolette. A few weeks ago, somebody donated little stuffed animals to all the babies in the NICU. Of course, they have to be put in plastic bags, but Olivia has a little elephant sitting with her everyday that we call Horton. Everyday, Horton whispers to Olivia “A person’s a person no matter how small.” (Horton Hears a Who still remains one of my all-time favorite stories.)

Last night I mentioned another baby that was admitted into the NICU. Sadly, she was another precious child that God called home. Please pray for the family of that baby. I was also greatly distressed to learn that Olivia’s little neighbor had to have surgery today. This little girl was born about a week after Olivia and is one of the few babies that have remained in the NICU throughout our stay. Please pray that she is able to recover fully. You are not supposed to pay a lot of attention to the other babies around you and for good reason. It’s hard, however, not to notice the babies around you because their condition greatly affects the atmosphere of the entire room. I just want every baby there to be able to go home with their family. I wish Logan would have been able to and I pray every second of every day that Olivia will be able to in the near future.

Sunday, November 4, 2007 - Evening Update

It’s official. . .Olivia takes after me and loves to rock in a rocking chair. When we got her out tonight, she was crying and crying and the second I started rocking she was fine. She’s doing great, our little Bo PEEP of 4!! Yep, they turned her down on the CPAP again and she’s doing great, although now she probably can’t wait to get off of the CPAP. While rocking my daughter, I was able to feel like a real mother. I’m sure that after being swaddled in a blanket and cradled in my arms. . .Olivia was able to feel like a real baby.

It was a tough night in the NICU. They had a new baby admitted who seemed to be struggling quite a bit. After we had put Olivia back in her isolette and got ready to leave, Olivia kept crying. It’s hard to leave your baby when she’s crying, so I had my hands in on her trying to calm her down. The new baby’s condition quickly worsened and we were advised to promptly leave. I feel like I didn’t get to say goodnight to Olivia and I didn’t want to leave her when she was upset. Of course, I understand all too well about the hardships that happen in the NICU. It was very difficult for me remembering back to that awful night on September 28th. I just wanted to be by Olivia’s side and never leave. Because of everything, I’m just not doing too well tonight. I want my Olivia home with me so very badly. My prayers go out to the family of the baby and I hope and pray that they were able to get her stabilized. Nobody should have to go through any of this.

Anyway, that’s all I really feel like writing tonight. I meet with the physical therapists tomorrow to further discuss Olivia’s progress. Please always keep my little girl close to your heart.

We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need…
Colossians 1:11

Sunday, November 4, 2007 - The Giraffe Tent

Ryan and I went over to my parents’ house for lunch today. We walked in the door and found this. . .a giant giraffe tent for Olivia and her cousin, Isabelle. Grandma and Grandpa Sailing can’t wait for the day that Livi and Izzy (as they’re affectionately called) get to play together.

Saturday, November 3, 2007 - Update

Well, Olivia has started to develop strong opinions about what she likes and what she doesn’t. We learned that CPAP + skin-to-skin = very angry baby. I don’t think she liked it because she had to lay her head against the tubes on the side of her face. We turned her on her back, swaddled her in a blanket and daddy held her like that. That seemed to be what she wanted. Olivia is getting some force behind those lungs and will cry and cry to voice her displeasure.

It was kind of hard for Ryan to hold her the way that he did because that is how we held Logan the night that he died. It brought back some painful memories. It was even more difficult when she decided to stop breathing and started turning blue. That’ll age you about 20 years. She went from an oxygen saturation of 100 to about 40 in just a few seconds. Nobody should have to see their baby start turning blue. As much as we want her home as soon as possible, we want to make sure that she is ready to come home. We’re stressed when she has an apnea in a hospital. I can’t imagine if that happened at home. We think she just got too comfy again and forgot to breathe. We think that she also had a bad dream while she was sleeping. She’d been out for about 30 minutes and then all of the sudden she let out a cry that only lasted about 2 seconds.

Overall, however, she is doing very good. She is still on a PEEP of 5 and was on room air for much of the day. I’m so proud of her. I was talking to Ryan earlier today about all of the new moms that I see out and about with their newborns. Those people don’t realize that I’m a new mom too. I told Ryan that I also want to show off my new baby. He reminded me that I do get to do that. I just do it in a little different way. . .on this blog. Thank you for allowing me to do so. It helps me more than you know.

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. Isaiah 43:2

Friday, November 2, 2007 - Update and Pictures

Olivia is an absolute beauty! She looked wonderful today. Ryan and I have both been able to calm her when she’s crying which makes us feel good. It’s amazing to actually feel like a mom and dad. Not too much new to report today. Her EEG did show some abnormal brain function and focal seizures. From what we’ve always heard, seizures are very, very normal in premature babies. Most babies will get to a point where they will outgrow them. We think she just hasn’t gotten to that point yet, so they will have to continue her on the Phenobarbital. We have not been able to talk with the doctor about it yet.

This weekend she should reach another weight milestone. . .1500 grams. At that point, I get to start dressing her and she will work on being able to maintain her own body temperature. I’m so excited for that. Don’t worry, we’ll take lots of pictures. Speaking of pictures, we broke the 1000 mark tonight. I don’t know many people who have that many baby pictures. We were so grateful that we took so many pictures of Logan. It means so much to have them. Olivia’s PEEP remains at 5 and she’s still doing pretty darn good on CPAP. Seeing her tonight and looking into her beautiful eyes warmed my heart like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. Don’t forget about her when you say your prayers tonight and tomorrow and the next day and the next. . .

Thursday, November 1, 2007 - Update

Olivia is doing fantastic, but do you expect anything less from my little over-achiever? She now weighs 3 lbs 2 oz. They lowered her PEEP down to 5 today and I believe they will lower it again if her blood gas comes back good tomorrow. She is only having her blood gases checked every other day now, which I’m so thankful for. Every time they do it, they have to take blood from her heel. Can you imagine waking up to that every morning? Poor girl has had to endure so much. She was seen by the physical therapists (PTs) today and they still believe that she seems to be developing appropriately. I’m meeting with them on Monday to discuss it with them further and learn some exercises that I can be doing with her. I don’t believe I mentioned this before, but with the CPAP she also has an OG tube that goes down her throat to help get rid of excess gas in her tummy. It didn’t take her long to yank that out and have to have it put back in. Boy, she is one feisty little girl! And when she gets mad she lets everyone know. She had an EEG tonight before we got there and I guess she was not happy with that at all! We should find out the results of that tomorrow. Olivia wasn’t completely calmed down when we got there. Ryan cuddled her with his hands and she calmed right down. She is going to be such the daddy’s girl! It was so cute because Ryan said, “I’m covering her with a warm blanket of love.” I don’t know that we could feel any more love for her and yet I’ll love her more tomorrow than I do today.

I did get her out to do skin to skin, but I had to put her back in her isolette after about 30 minutes. I don’t really know why because she was very calm and snuggly up next to me and yet her saturations kept dropping. We’ve heard, however, that sometimes they can get too relaxed and forget to breathe. That just breaks your heart because if she enjoys it so much it’s hard to discontinue it. I think everyone is amazed with how well she is doing. I know things can change in an instant, but I’m so very grateful that she is doing so well. She warms my heart more than you can even imagine. I constantly dream of the day that I get to bring her home.

Thursday, November 1, 2007 - The Number 22

Many years ago, I was in the Perfect Peace Christian bookstore. As I was checking out, my total came to $22.22. I went to write out my check and realized that the date was May 22, 2000. The clerk then asked that my phone number be written on the check. At that time, the last four digits were 2238. The clerk quickly caught on and we had a good laugh. I remember that he looked at me jokingly and asked, “And what age do you happen to be?” I was 22 years old (great, I just gave my age away.) I can’t describe it, but it was a really weird experience and over the years the number 22 has come up multiple times whether it was my table number at a restaurant or my total at other stores.

I started showing signs of preterm labor at 22 weeks. I remember being determined not to go into labor at 22 weeks. This couldn’t be what the significance of the number 22 meant! Because of this determination, I was pretty cautious during that week when I was on bed rest. This may have given Logan and Olivia that extra, crucial week. I am not a superstitious person, but I had never been more relieved to make it to 23 weeks. Of course, I wish I would have made it a lot further.

At the time I didn’t notice that when I arrived at the hospital on August 27th, I was taken to room 22. This is where I gave birth to Olivia. . .my perfect peace.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007 - Pictures

Daddy, Mommy, and Olivia. Mommy made this sign for Olivia's first Halloween!
Our nieces, Julia and Rebekah, came over to show us their Halloween costumes. What beautiful girls inside and out!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007 - Evening Update

I have so much good news to share tonight. Olivia has had no apneas or bradycardias for 24 hours. The physical therapist came to evaluate Olivia today. They are going to be spending about a week with her before they give us their evaluation. So far as we know, they don’t see any obvious signs of cerebral palsy and they seem to think that she is where she should be for her age. They went up on Olivia’s feeding today to 29cc, so she is taking over an ounce every feeding and tolerating it very well.

When we arrived at the hospital tonight, Olivia was so mad. She is getting a little more force and a little more sound behind her cries. Nothing seemed to calm her down until daddy laid his hands on her. Later, she was upset again and I laid my hands on her. We also gave her a pacifier. At first, she wasn’t quite sure what to do with it, but then she started going to town sucking on it. It really seemed to soothe her and she finally went to sleep. It is good to know that she has a fairly strong sucking reflex, which some premature babies struggle with. We’ve learned to take each day as it comes. . .to rejoice in the good days and realize there may also be some days that aren’t as good. What a Happy Halloween it was for us today! As I mentioned previously, Ryan loves Halloween. He has spent years creating pneumatic props that have motion sensors and everything. This year he mentioned it was like Christmas without a Christmas tree, but there was nowhere he would rather have been than with his daughter. She brings so much joy to our life and we are so proud of her. Please pray for her continued success on CPAP and that she has many more wonderful days like today.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007 - Update and Brag!

Happy Halloween! I just had to write and brag about my little girl. As of noon today, she had not had any apneas or bradycardias since 8:00 pm last night. Her blood gas this morning was better than it’s been in weeks (which has to do with how well the body is being oxygenated.) She also passed the 3 lb mark yesterday and now weighs 3 lbs 1 oz. Olivia was switched to a new doctor today. Her previous doctor has been out of town with his father who is ill. Her new doctor is Dr. Dorn and he seems very pleased with her progress. This week she will be having her first EEG to check for seizure activity. Dr. Dorn also mentioned that they will talk to us about ways to stimulate her such as starting to read to her, etc. We said, “Um. . .we’ve been doing that every day since before she was born.” Olivia will also be seen by a physical therapist this week who will be doing some stretches with her and will evaluate her likelihood of developing cerebral palsy.

I’m just so proud of her. She’s the strongest person I’ve ever met and I’m so proud that she’s my daughter!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007 - Pictures!

Look Mama! No tube!

C Pappa, I'm on CPAP!

She’s wearing the biliband due to her eye exam/dilation today.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007 - Update

Well. . .what a day! I’ll start with the bad news. Olivia had another eye exam today and they found that she does have stage 1 ROP in zone 2. I have attached a link explaining that in greater detail. It could resolve on its own or progress to one of the other stages. I just keep praying that God takes care of her eyes and protects her precious eyesight.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retinopathy_of_prematurity

Now for the good news. . .she was put on CPAP today around noon. Ryan called me after talking to the doctor and he was taking off work in the afternoon to be with her on her first day on CPAP. I wanted to go with him so I rushed around to get ready and we were going to meet for lunch before heading up there. As I got into my car, I checked to make sure I had everything I needed. Bag? Check. Door locked? Check. Bottles to pump with at the hospital? Check. Buttoned down shirt to change into if I held her? Check. Camera? Check. Cell phone? Check. Keys. . .keys. . . .keys??? Yeah, so I locked myself out of the house. I called Ryan to tell him to go ahead without me and I would figure out a way to get up there. Well, he decides (although quite grumpily) to drive the 30 minutes across town to come get me. Anyway, we finally got up there and she was doing fabulous on CPAP. She loves turning her head from side to side without the restrictions of the vent tube. We left for a little while to meet Ryan’s co-workers at BG Bolton’s and after returning, we learned she had an apnea/bradycardia (where she forgets to breathe and drops her heart rate) While on the ventilator, it wasn’t that big of a deal because it was doing some of the breathing for her. Now, they have to get in and stimulate her to get her to start breathing again. It is very frightening and she had two more while we were there. We do understand that many babies must go back on the ventilator a couple of times after starting on CPAP. This is pretty common. It is also pretty common for babies to have more frequent periods of apnea/bradycardias when on CPAP. We are also expecting her to reach the 3 lb mark tonight as she is 2 lbs 15.5 oz.

Tomorrow, as you know, is Halloween and one of Ryan’s favorite times of year. He actually proposed to me six years ago on Halloween by dressing up as a trick-or-treater down on his knees. I gave him some candy. He gave me a ring. As all of you probably suspected, we will not be putting out our Halloween display this year. We will actually not even be home as we will be spending the evening with Olivia. It is her first Halloween, after all. She is going as a “big girl.” Last year we had over 100 trick-or-treaters visit our house, so I’m sure there will be some disappointed children. Don’t worry. . .we’ll be back next year.

Monday, October 29, 2007 - Pictures

Monday, October 29, 2007 - Update

Today I spent the afternoon with my sister-in-law, Shelley and my niece, Isabelle. Isabelle was supposed to be 4 months older than her cousins, but because Logan and Olivia came so early they are only 1 week apart. I feel like I haven’t gotten a chance to get to know Isabelle because of everything that has happened over the past two months. At the same time I felt guilty about holding a baby who wasn’t Olivia. I know. . .that’s really strange. I then met some friends for dinner. It was nice and they brought me all kinds of things. They made me a mother’s bracelet and I got a onesie that says ‘little angel,’ a stuffed giraffe and a home cooked dinner complete with brownies! It was nice spending time with everyone today.

Okay, on to my baby girl. I got to hold her last night and when I arrived at the hospital tonight, Olivia was cuddled up with dad. She also gained another 40 grams last night and now weighs 1300 grams or 2 lbs 14 oz!! She did not get extubated today, but her vent settings were turned down once more to 16/5 with a rate of 13. I think tomorrow is the big day! If she does well through the night and has a good blood gas in the morning. . .CPAP here we come! I believe she also has another eye exam tomorrow, so please pray for her throughout the day.

Sunday, October 28, 2007 - Update

Olivia is out of isolation today which means her cultures have come back negative and we’re probably going to get to hold her tonight! I’m assuming that she will remain on the medication for her eyes. She gained another 20 grams last night, so she is now up to 2 lbs 12.5 oz! They have also increased her feedings to 27cc. She is very close to taking a full ounce. It’s amazing how much we’ve missed not being able to hold her these past two days. I’m sure she’ll miss the peacefulness of the isolation room, but hopefully will enjoy being held again. When we were back in the isolation room yesterday, Ryan and I realized that this is how it will be at home. . .just the three of us as a family. . .together. . .in peace and quiet. I can’t even begin to describe my anticipation for that day.

I have been amazed that so many people have staked their claim of Olivia. “She’s my friend’s cousin, my cousin, my neighbor, etc.” There are people that have never met us, but continue to pray for Olivia’s progress. So many of these people are children themselves and I only hope that Olivia grows up with that much concern about the plight of other people. I have worked since I was 16 years old (well, earlier than that if you consider my babysitting career) and now I look ahead to the toughest job of all. It’s a job that I didn’t think I would ever get to have and that is to raise my precious Olivia. It will be hard work, but nothing is as hard as never getting the chance. I know so many people still struggling to have a family and I ask that you always keep them in your prayers. I remember month after month mourning the loss of a dream and the child I never got to have. I’m so grateful for my beautiful Olivia and please continuing praying for the day that we get to bring her home!!